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date: 2019-09-10
weight: 22
---

My turn.

> Shoot.

Why ask this now? Why ask about the core instead of a side quest?

> I did. I asked about TS.

Don't deflect.

> Okay.

Why ask about the project? Why ask about yourself?

> You had job interviews. You had the convention. You're visiting Barac. You stopped writing for a bit.

I started again, didn't I?

> Yes. Hypomania is fading into the comfortable static of a ground state, though. You're **still** writing. That's why I'm asking. Why are you writing this if you're not hypomanic?

I wrote a bunch of *Restless Town* when I wasn't hypomanic.

> Yes.

I wrote some of *Rum and Coke* when I wasn't hypomanic.

> It shows, in the last one.

I've grown as a writer. I've grown as a person. I can continue projects whose inception lay in hypomania.

> And yet you say that you know a thing is right if you feel the same when depressed as when hypomanic. You can tell a decision is worth making if something other than strange energies birthed it.

Yes.

> Did strange energies not birth me?

I don't know. Maybe. I don't think they birthed this project, though. I think this project is...hmm.

> An honest one? A true one? A worthwhile one?

Sort of.

Maybe I think it's an earnest one. One that was borne out of a real desire, birthed by a need beyond what might be imbued by hypomania. A more grounded need, not one based in those non-Newtonian laws that govern that other space, where mechanics break down and strange energies spring, palladial, into being.
