%title Fuck.
%date 2009-05-21 02:11:59
:diary:livejournal:fossils:

So, Colorado has this bill that says that every year, state employees will have the final paycheck of the fiscal year deferred to the next year for some accounting BS that was supposed to get the state out of debt.  I'm not quite sure how that works, because they make employees skip one month's pay in order to pay them that same amount the next month.  This originally applied only to employees with monthly salaries, but someone thought it would be a good idea to tack on hourly employees paid bi-weekly.  Like me.

Now, for some unknown reason, this year it works out to this Friday's paycheck being the last bit of money paid to me until July 1st, which is fucking absurd.  I have to start planning trips to the food bank and everything because of this bullshit.  I'm pretty pissed, so I went searching for the text of the bill (surprisingly hard to do), and came across this gem:

SALARIES PAID ON A BI-WEEKLY BASIS FOR THE FOURTEEN-DAY PAY PERIOD PRECEDING THE FIRST FOURTEEN-DAY PAY PERIOD FOR WHICH SALARIES PAID ON A BI-WEEKLY BASIS FOR ANY WORK PERFORMED DURING THE MONTH OF JUNE ARE PAID ON OR AFTER JULY 1 SHALL BE PAID ON THE FIRST WORKING DAY OF JULY.

...?

Breaking it down...

<pre>
SALARIES PAID ON A BI-WEEKLY BASIS {
    FOR THE FOURTEEN-DAY PAY PERIOD PRECEDING {
        THE FIRST FOURTEEN-DAY PAY PERIOD FOR WHICH {
            SALARIES PAID ON A BI-WEEKLY BASIS {
                FOR ANY WORK PERFORMED DURING THE MONTH OF JUNE {
                    ARE PAID ON OR AFTER JULY 1
<i>Syntax error -------^  Unexpected token 'are'.</i>
                }
            }
        }
    }
}
SHALL BE PAID ON THE FIRST WORKING DAY OF JULY.
<i>^------- Syntax Error: unexpected token 'shall'(V-subjunct.) at start of line.</i>
</pre>

Or maybe:

<pre>
SALARIES PAID ON A BI-WEEKLY BASIS {
    FOR THE FOURTEEN-DAY PAY PERIOD PRECEDING {
        THE FIRST FOURTEEN-DAY PAY PERIOD FOR WHICH {
            SALARIES PAID ON A BI-WEEKLY BASIS {
                FOR ANY WORK PERFORMED DURING THE MONTH OF JUNE
            }
            ARE PAID ON OR AFTER JULY 1
        }
    }
    SHALL BE PAID ON THE FIRST WORKING DAY OF JULY.
}

<i>Segmentation fault.  Core dumped.</i>
</pre>

Long story short, borrowing money.

EDIT: Not quite so horrible as I made it out to be - I'll still get paid on the fifth of June, due to paychecks coming two weeks after the end of each pay period.  But for someone who's living paycheck to paycheck, a month is quite a long time.