%title We must go out.. and dance around..
%date 2004-02-19 18:27:47
:diary:livejournal:fossils:

Urg.  After yesterday being what it was, going to school was exactly what I didn't want to be doing today, but I had to for some reason or another.  I got there early for sectionals, where we got in trouble with Revier for not doing a whole lot.  After that, I followed Shannon to art instead of going to public speaking.  I hung around there with Shannon and Ryan until I was justafiably kicked out by Ms. Harmon.  The whole time, Ryan was trying to convince me to go home, 'cause I felt like smoo.  So I took his advice and went back home instead of continuing on to public speaking.

At home, things came down in a tumble on me (metaphorically).  I felt like something just hasn't been right for the last few weeks, like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not.  Conflicting with that was the thought that perhaps I'm just starting to see what I really am and let that be seen, instead of hiding behind this avatar of normality.  There were other thoughts, about Shannon and Wendy and Ryan and choir, and before I knew it, I had a good sized slice on my left arm, and a razor blade in my right hand.  It's been a long time since I've cut myself, and I can't believe I did it today.  Luckily, it was a clean and shallow one that I should be able to hide easily with long sleeves.  I'm still not sure why the hell I did that, but oh well.  What's done is done.

After that dumb escapade, I showered and went to lie down, planning on waking up in time for fourth period so that I wouldn't miss that.  However, I gave up on that plan and turned off my alarm clock, figuring I'd get up in time for closer rehearsal.  My mom woke me up at around 11:40 (about when lunch ends), and asked if I'd caught that cold that was going around.  Not willing to explain, I just nodded, and she went ahead and excused me for the day.  I ended up waking up again at around one, so I got up, wolfed down some miso, and headed off to creative writing so that I could turn in my essay (which I decided to make about the dog show last sunday) and watch a creepy video about balloons.  By closer, I started to cheer up some, but I was still tired, as I am even now.  Closer went fine, as did the Act I 4th Quarter rehearsal today, which Insomniac was in.

Now I'm working on bio homework and pondering tomorrow.  Have my flute speech then.  I need to talk to Moondog about maybe doing something next weekend, since I won't be able to see her wednesday (<lj user="breakfastfox"></lj> and <lj user="vulpinepilot"></lj>, I shan't be able to drive you to group, since I've got rehearsal until way late), and my mom will be out of town then.  Then until next tuesday.. Hmm.. and I've got a friday off in there somewhere, too..