%title Notes.
%date 2004-04-18 20:19:38
:diary:livejournal:fossils:

moondogdragon: HYPOTHETICALLY... If I were to be dating someone else from group, and you and they are both there.  Shall I split my time between y'all or just one person has that day?  or ignore them completely?  ignore you?  not really pay attention to either?  or what?  
RannaFox: Hmm..
moondogdragon: I've been thinking about it a few days so I've had time to make it as complicated a question as possible  
RannaFox: Hee.
moondogdragon: ^_^  
moondogdragon: but I thought it was good for me to ask  
moondogdragon: basically... how should I act if my 2 mates are there at the same time?  
RannaFox: It's an odd situation.. I'd say ignore me, but then group's the only way I get to see you anymore (by the way, I have next friday off, if we want to do something), I'd say split it, but you'd need to discuss that with the other person, and I'd still feel bad for keeping you from them half the time.  I'm not sure how paying equal attention to both would work..
moondogdragon: neither would I  
moondogdragon: hmm...  
moondogdragon: I dont want you to feel like I'm abandoning you though  
RannaFox: I'd prefer not to feel that way either c.c
moondogdragon: exactly  
moondogdragon: *sigh  *
moondogdragon: so complicated
RannaFox: Yeah.
moondogdragon: sorry for pulling you into this shit like this  
RannaFox: S'okie.  Just kinda confusing.
moondogdragon: this is why most polys only date other polys and not monogamists  
moondogdragon: lol  
RannaFox: Well, we didn't know when we started out.  And I don't know, I might like poly..
moondogdragon: I should ahve told you before we started out, and I don't know if you'd like it or not  
moondogdragon: you have to have little to no jelousy  
RannaFox: Jealousy is a vile emotion.  I wish I were rid of it, but I can only change as fast as I live.
moondogdragon: yeah I know  

Ranna: Hmm.  Opinion.  Moondog's polyamorous, and was asking about a hypothetical situation wherein she was dating someone else at group, and we were both there at once.  I don't know how I'd feel about this.
Jackal: I know how I'd feel. LOL
Jackal: Then again, I'm selfish, you're not. 
Jackal: So uh...
Ranna: *throttles* Telllll meeeee.
Jackal: I dunnae. I always thought it would suck to be in love with a polyamorous person. I mean, they get to be like, "Oh hey! I have a crush on this person! I should date them", meanwhile, you sit in a corner and wonder when it'll be your turn while probably being jealous of the other person
Jackal: I mean, it's relatively no stress upon the polyamorous. But for the other two, it could be horrible
Ranna: Sounds like me.
Jackal: At best, they'll have to constantly yearn for the subject's love and attention. Meanwhile, the polyamorous knows that both are basically their slaves
Jackal: Ah well. That's one thing that I don't like. But that's me
Ranna: I don't like it either, but I like Moondog.
Jackal: That one person had good advice... set conditions.
Ranna: Kris.
Jackal: Personally, I would break up with the person. I would love them, yes, but I wouldn't want to be "one of their toys".
Ranna: Merp, forgot you were there :o)  Anyway, I did, and told Moondog, but the issue of both of us going to OASOS is a hard one.
Jackal: Aye
Jackal: You'll give yourself selflessly to him, and get a "dose" in return, knowing that the other would get the same?
Jackal: Ack. Sorry... this is one of my pet peeves, apparently. LOL
Ranna: It's one of mine too, but I don't know what else to do.  The thought of breaking up crossed my mind, and the thought of matching him partner for partner crossed my mind, but that still wouldn't be fair to the others.
Jackal: I dunno. I could only give you the advice to break up, because this kind of relationship could end up really hurting you. But that's my view
Jackal: But if you really think about it... aren't most people "polyamorous"?
Jackal: Supported by the main cause of divorce being "infedelity"...
Jackal: Dunnae
Ranna: I would be happy to live with 'cheating'.  It's knowing about it that sucks, and it's being there with it that sucks squared.
Jackal: Aye. I mean, you have crushes on others, right? But are you so uncaring of Moondog's love that you would bring them into the world you two have created? No, I doubt it. 
Jackal: Arrrrgh.
Jackal: All I can say, if he fucks something up and gets you hurt, I'll be royally pissed.
Ranna: You're welcome to be pissed, but no hurting.
Jackal: Kei
Jackal: *sighs* I'll stop bitching now. hehe
Ranna: Thanks for your opinion, fuzzy.
Jackal: No problem... sorry about the tirade lol
Ranna: It's okay, just no hurting Moondog.
Jackal: I wouldn't
Jackal: I would just be pissed. No way to express it, just pissed I guess
Ranna: I can understand that, just want to make sure.
Jackal: I never want to hurt anyone in anger
Jackal: Anyhoo. Besides that, wot's uuup?
Ranna: Nuffin, really.  Kinda hungry, but not sure what for.  Kinda bored.  Want company.
Jackal: ;.;
Jackal: *Gives food?*
Jackal: I would offer company, except I don't have a car, it's late, and I would look lik e a stalker
Jackal: XD XD
Jackal: Um. Mind if I post my thoughts on polyamorous relationships in a non-personal way on my LJ?
Ranna: Go ahead.  I plan on telling Moondog that you and I talked, anyway.
Jackal: Ah. You can post some of my comments if you want. LOL
Jackal: Ah frick. Maybe I would hurt in anger. o.O;
Jackal: *Hides self in padded room*
Jackal: But I will keep my word!!
Jackal: Can I hurt other people, though? :O
Ranna: Like whooooo?
Jackal: Dunnae
Jackal: Just for future reference
Jackal: XD
Ranna: Hurt me, then I won't be hurt by Moondog anymore ^^
Jackal: Huuuhhhh?
Jackal: I wouldn't hurt you
Ranna: I know c.c
Jackal: lol
Jackal: Oh man. If this is too vicious, I'm sorry
Jackal: *Edits a bit*
Jackal: Ack. 
Jackal: You can see if you want. I'm not sure how nice it is
Ranna: Meep, was scrolled up, sorry.  I'll look.
Jackal: I'll edit if you want
Ranna: You sound angrified.
Jackal: I am. lol
Ranna: Heh.
Jackal: Okei. I must go.
Jackal: I'll see you tomorrow! ^^
Ranna: Byee...
Jackal: Good luck with the discussion ;3
Ranna: Mmhm..

MegaWolf pets Ranna, "Jealous?"
Ranna mwrrps at pets, "Moondog's polyamorous and I'm not.  Wouldn't be so bad, but he posed the question of what would happen if he were dating another person at a group we both attend regularly."
Ranna's trying to figure out how to avoid jealousy.
Jim says, "its not easy.. u.u"
Ranna noticed :o)
Kyhwana peers at Ranna "Hmm
MegaWolf growls, "I can't help you there, I'm mentally incapable of understanding jealousy."
You whisper, "Ranna wants your opinion anyway.  Just talked to a friend who's downright pissed at the situation, needs another viewpoint." to MegaWolf.
MegaWolf whispers, "MegaWolf nodnods, ears perked." to you.
Kyhwana purrrs, "Try getting to know the other person as well?"
You yerf, "I'm not sure I could handle that, considering who I think Moondog has in mind."
You whisper, "Mrf.  The other person's argument is "Jackal: You'll give yourself selflessly to him, and get a "dose" in return, knowing that the other would get the same?"  I kinda agree with this, but I don't want to just drop a friggin' relationship.." to MegaWolf.
Kyhwana hmms at Ranna "Then you're going to be jealous anyway? Wouldn't it be better to know the other person he's dating, and hopefully have something in common with them too?
Tsuki purrs quietly, "you are suppose to have multiple physical/emotional relationships without the jealous, guilt and anger"
MegaWolf whispers, "I think you need to talk to him about the whole polygamy thing. I don't agree with it personally, but in this day and age it's not something I can completely disagree with anymore. He could be testing you like my ex did, one of the multiple reasons he left me because I /didn't/ get jealous when he started seeing another guy at the same time." to you.
You yerf, "I agree, Kyh, I'm just not sure I work that way."
Kyhwana purrrs, "Then maybe you should stop dating Moondog?"
Ranna stops trying to type a few things at once.
You yerf, "That's an option, Kyh."
You whisper, "The relationship hasn't been going on that long, so I'm not sure, but I don't think that'd be something Moondog'd do.  He might whine, but I don't think he'd really 'test'." to MegaWolf.
MegaWolf whispers, "Then if you're looking for something serious more than just someone to hang out with and spend time with, it sounds like he's not the one for you." to you.
You whisper, "Ranna nods, that's what everyone's said so far.." to MegaWolf.
Ranna will think about it.
MegaWolf whispers, "Sorry foxy. Monogamous/polygamous doesn't usually make a good match." to you.
You whisper, "Ranna nods, "Even Moondog admits that.."" to MegaWolf.