---
type: post
title: On the Path
date: 2014-12-19
slug: on-the-path
---

I realize that it's been a while since I've written in this section of the site.
Things have been busy in general, and particularly overwhelming of late. I've
written [a
little](/posts/furry/adjspecies/2014/11/26/witnessing-and-mirroring/) here and
there, but I suppose so much has been happening out of the realm of this site
that I've not felt the need to put so much down in words.  I've been talking
with friends, a therapist, a psychiatrist, and as of last week, a physician
about gender.

I've been working so long on the mental health and social health aspects of
gender, that I figured it was time to begin looking into the physical health
aspects as well.  I'm still working out the best way to 'transition', such as
the term applies to me, but it's begun with a physical, blood tests, and a
referral to an endocrinologist.  At this point, with the flood of information, I
think it is a good idea to dust this thing off and start writing about it as
more news comes in, especially as a way to track the changes.

On the note of changes, before I delve into the tests and their results, I
should mention that I've been working through the process of changing my name
from Matthew Joseph Scott to Madison Jesse Scott-Clary.  It's been a slow and
expensive process so far, involving background checks at both the state and
federal levels, and will soon involve court appearances and publications in a
newspaper (gotta make sure I'm not evil, I suppose).

This has also resulted in me coming out as trans\* to my mom, my dad, and my
coworkers.  This has all gone well enough, with the expected conversations for
the most part.  The name change was from something decidedly masculine to
something on the feminine side of neutral, and so simply stating that there was
a change to Madison wound up bringing up the subject of gender with both
coworkers and my mom.  I came out to my dad more deliberately through a letter,
and have prepared [a statement](http://drab-makyo.com/changes/) on my site that
I can refer to in the future.

Anyway, onto the results.  I had ten tubes of blood drawn a week ago today and
received fourteen results.

### STD Screen

* Gonorrhea: negative
* Syphilis: negative
* Chlamydia: negative
* HIV: negative
* Hepatitis (A, B, C): negative

No surprises there.  I'm not terribly sexually active, and am safe when I am,
fluid-bonded with JD.

### Hormones

* Testosterone, free: normal - 15 (standard is 9-30)
* Testosterone, total: normal - 440 (standard is 300-950 for my age)
* Estradiol: high end of normal - 39.2 (standard is &lt;39.8)

I will admit to having gone through a bit of an experimentation in DIY hormone
therapy a while back.  These numbers aren't all that surprising, considering
that.  I will learn more from the endocrinologist when I get the referral, as to
the impact these numbers will have on any transition I decide to undertake.

### Other labs

* Triglycerides: high (hypertriglyceridemia)
* Mean corpuscular volume: high (macrocytosis without anemia)
* Vitamin D: low (vitamin D deficiency)
* Other results within the norm.

My triglycerides have been high ever since I took Accutane back in high school.
This, along with the macrocytosis, is likely exacerbated by high alcohol intake
and a poor diet over the last year or two, especially with the move.  I'll need
to cut down on drinking, fatty foods, carbohydrates, and get back to exercising
with the dogs (rather than simply exercising them).

I'll have more along these lines coming up soon, and will do my best to update
this as I learn and decide more.  I'm still not sure how far, or even if I will
transition, nor really how far I want to.  I feel on the feminine side of
neutral, and don't think I would be any happier simply living as a woman (though
it certainly tickled me getting referred to as 'she' a few times over the last
week).  I don't know.  More thoughts will certainly be on the way!
