Another day of depression, another day of failing to do the things that I need to do. I still feel the tendrils of burnout pulling me down. They're trapping me and keeping me from moving on with my life. The minute I have a task that I need to complete that involves any sort of organization, I just...can't. I sit and stare at the screen. I panic. I dissociate. I cry. I sit on the couch with my phone and watch [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbFT7kCFo9Q|wordless]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvL83-iy-EQ|competency]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PwAQZNLy0I|porn]]. Is there any reason I should do anything other than fall short of expectations?
Obviously that's not quite how the world works. Authors need to be paid, emails need responding to, tasks need completed. Until WA gets their unemployment system fixed, I need to keep on top of applying for jobs. These are all things I _need_ to do, and yet they are things that I have so much trouble actually doing.
Maybe it's burnout, but maybe it's just the usual depression mixed with the hopelessness inherent in both another failed election cycle and a global pandemic. Who knows?
