zk/diary/2012-08-26-21:23:16.md

%title 2012-08-26 21:23:16
%date Now is the second springtime of me
:blog:fossil:diary:

It's a little strange how, even in so technological an age, we can still come back to the yearly cycle for metaphor and feel comfortable.

Five months ago, on March 21, I had the worst night of my life, period, <em>ever</em>, and tomorrow marks five months to the day when I returned back to work for the first time after that. That makes it May 5 in this new springtime.

And unlike the previous springtime of adolescence, this is a springtime of unknowing. Before, I always knew what would come next. Elementary to middle to high school, and college afterward. College to a job to retirement. Buy a house, get a dog, get married. But now, I don't know when summer comes, I don't know when the year ends.

Two weeks ago, I gave a presentation in front of a standing room only audience on data visualization and the furry fandom.

A week and a half ago, I resigned from my job as project lead to accept a position at Canonical as a developer.

A week ago, I began tapering off the last of my medications, and picked up a nervous tic from it.

Friday, I received a call telling me it was okay to stop that medication flat out.

Yesterday I painted my toenails with James for No Reason At All.

Four hours ago, I experienced hypnotism for the first time, and the imagery of springtime was cemented in place. I haven't been this relaxed (even with the tic) since the summer of the previous cycle.

There are things embedded in the western doxa which will make this all sound so trite to just about every one of you, but folks, life is so big and <em>so wonderful,</em> the high points so exalted and the low points so profound, that there is honestly no better reason to go on living than life itself.

Have at it.

All my love,

~M