Ioan quickly began to wish for boredom. They'd made it into April and so many things had happened. Assassination attempts, centuries of merging, overflowing...
Ey just wanted to be bored.
At least they'd settled into a routine once more, and it was far more comfortable than either of the previous ones --- when True Name had first moved in, and then after End Waking's merge --- so ey couldn't complain too much.
True Name managed May's merge much more easily than she had End Waking's, and ey could see now the benefits of that week of negotiation beforehand. Nearly two months later, and she still occasionally mentioned a pressing memory or two from End Waking demanding attention.
It was just another part of the routine. A rocky routine, and an exciting one, but still a routine.
It wasn't all bad, of course. For every talk they had about meeting with Jonas or what Zacharias had become or some boundary one of them had crossed, there were still the pleasant meals, the shared quiet, and, ey had to admit, ey rather liked who True Name had become.
Ey had certainly liked who she was, of course. Three years of coffee dates stood as testament to that, but a large part of this, ey'd come to realize, came with just how much more settled in herself she was. Even that drive she cherished about herself had been tempered into something smoother, less laser-sharp. She was more well-rounded, more able to relax, more able to work without it occupying the whole of her.
The weirdest part, though, had to be sleep. They spent two nights staying with True Name while she processed first the memories and then the conflicts before trying to go back to sleeping separately.
She spent the next day distracted and out of sorts, first begging off breakfast to sit outside, then joining them in the common areas before getting anxious and slipping off to go lay down again. That night, she woke them a few hours after they'd gone to bed, tearfully asking to join them.
"This is so fucking stupid. I feel like a fucking kid," she'd said between sniffles. "I am sorry."
May had shushed her and held up the covers for her to climb in, letting her settle back into much the same position she had those first two nights.
It had certainly worked well enough, with Ioan rising at eir usual eight o'clock while the two skunks slept in for another two hours. Later that day, May had instructed her how to get at least some comfort out of sleeping curled up with a fork.
Still, once a week or so, they'd wake to her asking to join them, and eventually Ioan had given in and expanded the bed by a foot to at least make it roomier when she did join them. She'd at least been quite understanding when May had requested that it not be every night.
Ey was unsure of eir feelings on the matter. On the one hand, it was still intensely weird to see True Name, of all people, openly seeking affection and a shared bed, and stranger still to see just how much May's opinion of her had softened.
On the other, so had eirs. The nights when she joined them weren't unpleasant, even if it would be a while before ey was used to sharing a bed with anyone other than May. This was to say nothing about the shyness ey felt about eir body. The first few times she had joined them, ey had wrapped emself up in a sheet before leaving the bed to maintain some sense of modesty, though given that these nights had often included the skunks sleeping in, ey eventually gave up on that.
It took some convincing --- on all three of their parts; ey needed to convince emself as much as True Name and May --- but eventually, Ioan worked up the courage to leave the house, seeking out some much needed solitude, even if it was only in the anonymity of public spaces.
The coffee shop ey'd frequented for so long may have been safe, but given that eir last visit had included an attempt on a friend's life, ey stayed away, opting instead for a night in a library. The one ey frequented also felt fraught, given its association with all of those meetings with Jonas and so many others during the research for the *History*, so ey chose one ey'd never been to before from the directory. Besides, the information was technically available anywhere, libraries just provided a familiar physical location to access it, a social place for gathering around the topic of information, and some physical tools used for manipulating that information that individuals rarely had room for.
Beyond that, though, it was just the very idea of the space that appealed to em and so many others. Ey'd long ago let go of eir desire to be a librarian. Codrin#Pollux had that covered, and ey'd made eir choice, influenced as it was by eir life with May, to settle into theatre.
That didn't remove the appeal, though. Ey could still go to the building and wander through the stacks, dragging fingertips along the spines of books or poring over maps. Ey could still go sit beside a window with a book ey may not even enjoy and, if nothing else, enjoy the sun.
This library had eschewed the flashy exterior of eir normal haunt, opting instead for a low and flat building, one that took its majesty from the way it sprawled out over its campus, buildings connected by breezeways or tunnels, scattered seemingly at random in such a way as to form irregular courtyards full of benches, gardens, or, in on notable case, a small gallery ey initially mistook for another garden, but for the fact that all of the foliage was made of glass.
Ey liked it immensely.
The busiest section of the library was far and away the wing that had been built to house the massive information dump from Artemis. This took the form of a squat, pentagonal building --- one wall for each race and one for their shared knowledge --- that bored its way deep into the ground, a slow-sloping spiral winding down along the shelves to allow visitors to browse their way back in time until, at the very bottom, only firstrace had any material.
Ey stayed away from this for the day. Ey wanted cozy, not awe-inspiring.
Eventually, having loaded up on a few random finds --- trashy sci-fi, some intriguing contemporary fiction from decades after ey'd uploaded, even a bit of furry fiction from early in the 21st century ey considered bringing home to show May --- ey parked emself in the glass garden and arrayed eir finds out before em on the table.
The sci-fi proved to be a little *too* trashy for eir tastes, and while the contemporary fiction was certainly intriguing, it was far too dense for reading when ey was trying to have a lighter, easier day. The furry book struck a nice middle-ground, at least, even if ey couldn't keep the species straight in eir head.
Eventually, though, ey gave up and just sat in the sun, watching the way it filtered through the glass leaves and branches of the trees.
*No better way to realize just how tense you are than by relaxing,* ey thought.
Ey didn't doubt that the two skunks also would appreciate some time out of the house, too. Doubtless there were some sims they could visit that would be reasonably safe. Douglas's field, End Waking's forest...well, no longer Arrowhead Lake.
"Hi Serene," ey began, starting up the simplex sensorium message before ey lost both the nerve and the train of thought. "I know it's been a while since we've spoken, so I hope you're well. I have a strange question that might turn into a really big request. After some...very dramatic events, one of our favorite places is no longer safe for us. I guess that's what happens when you just kind of adopt an abandoned sim without knowing much about it.
"Still, it's become personally meaningful to us over the years, and we're finding ourselves missing it. I don't know if we necessarily need a copy of it, but would it be possible for you to come take a look at it and see about what all would go into creating something similar? Would be a modification of my home sim. There's no rush, and if nothing else, it'd be good to say hi sometime. Talk soon."
Further reading was largely a failure. Ey couldn't get back into any of the books ey'd started, and a certain listlessness tamped down any desire to head back to the shelves to hunt more. Ey left them on a page's cart, an act that almost certainly just reshelved them, and hunted down coffee.
Serene sent a gentle sensorium ping just as ey picked up eir coffee.
Ey quickly stepped into another courtyard --- this one full of actual greenery, hot and humid --- in order to reply. "Hi, Serene. Thanks for getting back to me."
"No problem," she said, the lack of any smile in her voice quite conspicuous. "Thank you for thinking of me."
"Of course, no one better."
"Flatterer," she replied, a hint of the usual humor returning. It quickly fled, though. "Are you in a place where you can speak freely?"
"I...well, give me a moment, and I will make sure of that."
Ey stepped home quickly, stopping in the entryway to sweep emself. No spies. *Thank God,* he thought. *Wouldn't have put it past them to bug me at the library.*
Blinking a visually secured cone of silence into being, ey spoke into the sensorium message. "Okay, secure now."
Serene laughed, "Oh, I had just meant away from crowds, no need to go through this much trouble."
"Well, given all that's been going on..."
There was the sense of a sigh on the other end of the message. "Yes, I suppose you are right. That is why I messaged you back, actually. While it is certainly feasible and I would ordinarily be more than happy, I am not yet ready to engage with True Name."
"That's fair," ey said after a pause. "I know things are complicated. Do you know of any--"
"Oh goodness, I did not say I would not do it! I will, just...not yet. Please give me some time, my dear."
Ey frowned, looking down at eir shoes as ey scuffed one against the parquet floor. "Right, okay. May I ask how you're feeling about this, then? I've had precious little contact with...well anyone."
There was another sigh. "I do not know yet, Ioan. I am not unhappy for her. I am not displeased that things are coming to a head with Jonas, as that will mean there will be a change, for better or worse. I am just not yet able to engage."
"That's fair."
"Give me the address of the sim, at least? I will take a look and let you know what I think."
"Peak Lake#587a9383."
"Seriously?" Serene laughed. "I have not heard that address in decades."
"Wait, did you--"
"It is not mine, no, but a student of mine made it. I do not imagine they still have ACLs, but I will ask."
Ey shook eir head. "You guys seriously have your hands in everything, don't you?"
"It is not *not* true."
"There are billions of people here, I don't know how that'd even be possible."
"How many of us do you think there are?"
"Right. 'Nominally' a hundred."
"There you go," she said, voice sly. "We are old and we are many."
"I bet," ey laughed. "Well, thanks for considering the request. I got something off the exchange that is less than ideal, and I miss that place. It's just got bugs."
"Gross."
"Very. Keep in touch, okay?"
"Will do, my dear. Say hi for me."
And with that, the message ended. Ey straightened up, went to rub at eir face, realized ey was still holding the cup of coffee from the library, and turned the motion into taking a sip.
Ey dropped the cone of silence and let out a shout. The ACLs had blurred the area outside the cone enough that the sight of two skunks standing just outside its edge, staring intently at em and whispering to each other caught em off guard.
"What the hell?"
Both skunks laughed.
"We could ask you the same, my dear," May said, stepping up to get her arms around eir middle. "What an awkward place to have a conversation."
"I had to get somewhere secure," ey said, voice muffled as ey placed a kiss between her ears. "Serene says hi, by the way."
"What were you talking about that required security?" True Name asked, still grinning.
"Nothing too serious, actually. Just an abundance of caution, there. I was seeing what it would take to get our own copy of Arrowhead Lake."
Both skunks perked up at that. "Is that something she can do?" True Name asked.
"Apparently one of her students made it, so she's going to ask and see if they have ACLs. Otherwise, she said she's happy to make something similar down the line. Maybe once this is all over."
True Name nodded. "I will look forward to it. The field is fine for now when I get restless, but I miss the lake."
Ey nodded. "Same. Gonna let me in, May?"
"Absolutely not," she said. "You will have to pick me up and carry me if you would like to enter your own home."
Ioan poked at her side until ey found a ticklish spot. "Skunks are such brats."
She laughed and shoved herself away from em. "Rude. Come on, my dear. I have been pestering True Name with my monologue, and we are both bored loopy. Tell us about your excursion."
Ey was chivvied into the living room and sat down on the beanbag so that May could slouch against eir side while True Name claimed a spot on the couch. Ey described the seemingly endless library and all its odd-shaped courtyards, then talked about each of the books ey'd picked up --- the only one either seemed interested in was the furry one, though neither had heard of it --- finally ending with, "It was good to get out. Like, really good. Got me wondering, though, how you two are doing cooped up here."
May groaned and slumped dramatically back onto the beanbag. "I am frankly losing my mind. I want to get back to the theatre. I do not even need to be performing, I would not mind even building sets or just falling asleep on that ratty old couch in the dressing room. I miss the stage. I miss the people. I miss drinking until two with Vos and A Finger Pointing. I miss restaurants, Ioan. *Restaurants.*"
"Getting sick of my cooking?"
"It is the experience I miss. Your cooking is fine."
"Do you feel like you are not able to leave?" True Name asked. "I do not think you would be in much danger."
"I would not wish to test that." May shrugged. "It has me anxious that both Jonas and so many of us are out there and have so much out for you. They may not be after me in particular, but I do not want to encounter any of them at the moment."
Ey nodded. "What about friends' sims? You've been to End Waking's and Douglas's since Secession day, but I'm sure there are others who'd be willing to sweep and have you over just to get out of the house. Hell, I bet Debarre would love to see you, and he seems the paranoid sort, anyway."
She laughed and squirmed around until she was laying on her front, tail draped over eir lap. "You are right, as always. I will ping one of them at some point."
A motion from the couch drew eir ey. True Name slumping over onto her side and stretching out. "So many names," she said, voice distant. "I have not seen Debarre in centuries, and yet I saw him just a few months ago. I have not met Douglas and yet I know him well."
"Do you want to get out and visit them at some point?" ey asked, brushing fingers through May's tail.
There was a long silence, the skunk's features drawn in in thought. "I am of three minds, my dear. A third of me would like more solitude than I already have, a third of me is filled with touch-hunger and would like to surround myself with all these people."
"And the True Name third?"
She averted her eyes, bringing her tail around to groom it absentmindedly. "She is scared and unhappy and lost. She, of the three of me, is of two minds. Half of her would like to plan and scheme and wargame and rip that smug look off Jonas's face, and the other half would...but, well, there has been enough quitting in the clade."
A long silence played, where none of them looked at each other. Ioan kept eir gaze down, True Name focused on her tail, and May looked out into the yard and the plain beyond.
"But come, that is enough of that," True Name said decisively, sitting up. "Five sixths of me still want to rip that smug look off Jonas's face, so that sad-sack part of me can go have her sulk another time. I would also like to get out. I would like to go to restaurants again, yes, and even see one of your plays, should I be welcome. I want to eat greasy food and drink myself to sleep after performances. I want to hop sims and dream. New deadline: one month. I want out of hear within one month."
((Serene gets back to em, says she's heard, but isn't ready to engage yet; Ioan goes home, talks about how they're feeling in terms of being pent up, May wants to get back to acting, eating out, TN wants to figure out what the fuck to do with her life, but can't w/ this Jonas stuff looming, time to start planning))
