update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/036.md

@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 
 The stream of Odists who came to visit Sasha in the days and weeks after the excursion to Jonas's was surprising. They seem to have accepted her change in identity far easier than expected. There were no instances of deadnaming (unless they were specifically talking about her past as True Name, as requested), no fights, no arguments.
 
-Not everyone was happy, to be sure. Many of the discussions from those who stopped by were quite serious and, even though many took place in cones of silence, Ioan imagined that there was much in the way of airing of grievances. It was always done with an eye towards catharsis and reconciliation, however.
+Not everyone was happy, to be sure. Many of the discussions from those who stopped by were quite serious and, even though many took place in cones of silence, Ioan could easily guess that there was much in the way of airing of grievances. As far as ey could tell, though, it was mostly done with an eye towards catharsis and reconciliation, however.
 
 Serene, for instance came over the day after the whole kerfuffle, surprising the three of them well into the evening. They'd settled for a middle ground of dinner out on the extended balcony --- close enough to the house for them to cook a proper dinner without leaving Sasha feeling cooped up inside --- when the ping against their sensoria caused the three to jolt as one.
 
@@ -74,17 +74,17 @@ Ey exchanged glances with the two skunks and shrugged. "I think we're all eager
 
 There was no further announcement. Nor, even, any change in Serene. She still looked out over the railing with a dreamy, far away look on her face even as the world dropped out beneath them.
 
-The plain rippled and stretched, arching up high to the sky as though stretching after a long nap. Trees pried their way from the soil. Rocks broke free from the land. The river --- the one immediately before them, at least --- collapsed into itself to form a wide lake. The rest of the echoed versions of the plain where not occupied by mountains crinkled into some more complex geometry, the remainder of the range echoed outside the valley.
+The plain rippled and flexed, arching up high to the sky as though stretching after a long nap. Trees pried their way from the soil. Rocks broke free from the land. The river --- the one immediately before them, at least --- collapsed into itself to form a wide lake. The rest of the distant echoed versions of the plain where not occupied by the immediate mountains crinkled into some more complex geometry, the remainder of the range echoed outside the valley.
 
-It *was* a little vertigo-inducing, too, but the worst of it wasn't due to the sudden change in the shape of the landscape, but in just how, well...serene it all was. The river shaping itself into the lake was not accompanied by some grand splashing of waves, but simply the remaking of the water. There were no falling rocks or grand earthquakes, just the reshaping of the world. The light shifted. Gravity swayed, settled. All of it was silent.
+It *was* a little vertigo-inducing, too. The worst of it wasn't due to the sudden change in the shape of the landscape, but in just how, well...serene it all was. The river shaping itself into the lake was not accompanied by some grand splashing of waves, but simply the remaking of the water. There were no falling rocks or grand earthquakes, just the reshaping of the world. The light shifted. Gravity swayed, settled. All of it was silent.
 
 And then it was done.
 
 "H-holy fuck," ey managed, clutching at the railing of the balcony. Both May and Sasha stood defiantly against the change, though neither looked as casual as the fox.
 
-"I have set your house up the hill a ways from the default entry point to the old sim. The angle of the sun may be a bit different, but not so much as to be a problem," she said, gesturing them down the steps from Sasha's side of the balcony. They landed on a concrete pad set into the bed of pine needles, a small trail winding its way down the slope toward the water. She gestured toward the small ridge that rose next to them. "I had to modify the terrain a little bit to keep your yard level. You should be okay, but if you run into erosion problems, do let me know. I have been told of your affinity for weather, Ioan."
+"I have set your house up the hill a ways from the default entry point to the old sim. That it was already on stilts proved quite useful. The angle of the sun may be a bit different, but not so much as to be a problem," she said, gesturing them down the steps from Sasha's side of the balcony. They landed on a concrete pad set into the bed of pine needles, a small trail winding its way down the slope toward the water. She gestured toward the small ridge that rose next to them. "I had to modify the terrain a little bit to keep your yard level. You should be okay, but if you run into erosion problems, do let me know. I have been told of your affinity for weather, Ioan."
 
-Sure enough, the fence remained level, wrapping around a small rectangle of hidden grass, the tops of lilac bushes overflowing.
+Sure enough, the fence remained level, wrapping around a small rectangle of hidden grass and dandelions, the tops of lilac bushes overflowing.
 
 The path teed with the long familiar deer trail that wound around the lake, and, out of habit, they all started down towards the rock.
 
@@ -94,7 +94,7 @@ The path teed with the long familiar deer trail that wound around the lake, and,
 
 Grinning and nodding, Serene kept up her steady pace, humming a little under her breath. There was no change that ey could see, though ey imagined her counting deer, rabbits, squirrels, and birds into existence.
 
-For eir part, ey simply walked, hand in paw with May, and marveled. Ey'd discovered the lake decades ago, had spent countless days out here on walks, and at least one night camping. Still, it felt somehow new. Ey was rediscovering this place that ey'd not seen in months --- though ey'd spent longer stints away from it in the past --- and marveling at the detail all over again. A glance back over eir shoulder showed eir flat-roofed house peeking shyly from amid the trees on its stilts, but other than that, it was, ey assumed, the same as it had bit.
+For eir part, ey simply walked, hand in paw with May, and marveled. Ey'd discovered the lake decades ago, had spent countless days out here on walks, and at least one night camping. Still, it felt somehow new. Ey was rediscovering this place that ey'd not seen in months --- though ey'd spent longer stints away from it in the past --- and marveling at the detail all over again. A glance back over eir shoulder showed eir flat-roofed house peeking shyly from amid the trees, but other than that, it was, ey assumed, the same as it had been.
 
 After so long away and after so much stress it felt all the more real.
 
@@ -116,7 +116,7 @@ The other skunk smiled faintly, nodded. "Though for all Ioan talked about trying
 
 May elbowed em in the side. "Hush, you."
 
-"I will not laugh at you two too much, then." Serene laughed. "What are your plans moving forward? I trust that you are essentially locked out of what you were working on as True Name."
+"I will not laugh at you two too much, then." Serene laughed anyway, though not unkindly. "What are your plans moving forward? I trust that you are essentially locked out of what you were working on as True Name."
 
 "Yes, and while there is a part of me that remains disappointed about this outcome, there is little to be done about it but move forward." Sasha brought her tail around to her lap to brush it out. It was shorter than a striped skunk's tail, it seemed, but no less thickly furred. "I will take a vacation, first. I will sleep a normal amount. I will eat good food. I will wear myself out on the hunt and take what comfort I can while I remain here. I will rest, and then I will write."
 
@@ -142,7 +142,7 @@ Sasha stood and stretched, finally turning her gaze back to them. "Himself has b
 
 With no further explanation, she bowed and edged around them on her way down off the rock. She moved quietly and efficiently, and it was a matter of moments before they lost sight of her in the trees.
 
-They sat, silent, through the remainder of the evening.
+They sat and shared quiet stories of the past through the remainder of the evening.
 
 -----
 
@@ -152,7 +152,7 @@ The next Odists to visit were A Finger Pointing and Slow Hours, once more arrivi
 
 The skunk smiled and bowed her head.
 
-"Life will be easier for a while, and then it will be harder. You will share your loves, first with another and then with solitude, and with each you long for the other until you return." Her expression slipped into a lopsided grin. "Does not matter a bit, though, so I would not worry."
+"Life will be easier for a while, and then it will be harder. You will share your loves, first with another and then with solitude, and with each you long for the other until you return." Her expression slipped into a lopsided grin. "Does not matter one fucking bit, though, so I would not worry."
 
 "Mere breath?" Sasha asked, grinning.
 
@@ -160,7 +160,7 @@ The skunk smiled and bowed her head.
 
 "And you will come to a performance," A Finger Pointing added. "I am no oracle, but if you do not come, I will hunt you down myself. It has been too long, my dear."
 
-She laughed. "Of course, of course. So many threats to hunt me down, these days. But yes, thank you."
+She laughed. "Of course. So many threats to hunt me down, these days. But yes, thank you."
 
 "And if you do not watch me perform my monologue, I will trim your claws too short in your sleep," May said. "There is a monologue night coming up soon."
 
@@ -168,13 +168,13 @@ She laughed. "Of course, of course. So many threats to hunt me down, these days.
 
 May preened.
 
-After that, they fell into quiet conversation. Sasha joined Ioan and May on the beanbag to get some pets --- the talk having apparently nudged the affectionate part of her to the fore --- while Slow Hours spoke in fewer 'will's and 'shall's and settled down into the normal conversational mode of the rest of the Odists. They spoke of performances past, going all the way back to before the founding of the System, back to their time in high school. The four Odists performing a small segment of the Dickinson play they always seemed to quote from, a first for any of the Bălans in nearly fifty years.
+After that, they fell into comfortable conversation. Sasha joined Ioan and May on the beanbag to get some pets --- the talk having apparently nudged the affectionate part of her to the fore --- while Slow Hours spoke in fewer 'will's and 'shall's and settled down into the normal conversational mode of the rest of the Odists. They spoke of performances past, going all the way back to before the founding of the System, back to their time in high school. The four Odists performed a small segment of the Dickinson play they always seemed to quote from, a first for any of the Bălans in the nearly fifty years their clades had been entangled.
 
 Ey didn't understand, but ey didn't need to.
 
 -----
 
-It was nearly a month before Debarre, Douglas, and Sasha agreed to meet. Debarre's side of the conversation remained somewhat stiff and distant, while Douglas seemed to have set aside any sense of caution, speaking with palpable excitement. As soon as he'd learned of the change of name back to something more closely associated with his distant relative, he'd hardly talked of anything else.
+It was nearly a month before Debarre, Douglas, and Sasha agreed to meet. Debarre's side of the negotiations remained stiff and distant, while Douglas seemed to have set aside any sense of caution, speaking with palpable excitement. As soon as he'd learned of the change of name back to something more closely associated with his distant relative, he'd hardly talked of anything else.
 
 The meeting was set up for dinner on the dandelion-dotted field, a small potluck picnic late in the evening so that the skunks wouldn't overheat in the sun.
 
@@ -182,7 +182,7 @@ Everyone arrived simultaneously by Debarre's request so that no one was left wai
 
 Or, at least they stood in a circle for a moment. Sasha stumbled backwards from the group, turning in two slow, wavering circles before falling to her knees.
 
-"Sasha?" Ioan said, watching anxiously.
+"Sasha?" Ioan said, startled.
 
 "Too much," she mumbled shakily. "Too much at once."
 
@@ -208,9 +208,9 @@ She smiled and leaned over to pat his shoulder. "We will talk, dear. That part o
 
 Debarre remained stiff and awkward, even as they settled down on the blanket to eat, plates piled high with various dishes and cups of sangria set carefully in the grass behind them. He wouldn't make eye contact with Sasha and seemed hesitant to speak to Ioan and May.
 
-Eventually, he cleared his throat, set his plate down, and stared steadily at Sasha. "I'd like an apology. At least from the, uh...what did you call it? That part of you?"
+Eventually, he cleared his throat, set his plate down, and stared steadily at Sasha. "I'd like an apology. At least from the, uh...what did you call it? The True Name part of you?"
 
-As she had done with Serene, Sasha set her plate down as well, folded her paws in her lap, and bowed to the weasel. Ioan could tell by the set of her features and the straightness of her shoulders that she was indeed doing her best to keep that part of her at the fore. "I am sorry, Debarre. The things that I did were for what I thought was best, but they wound up hurting everyone. They were not fair to you and I apologize for the pain I caused. While I do not think I even *could* anymore, I will endeavor not to act in such single-minded ways again."
+As she had done with Serene, Sasha set her plate down as well, folded her paws in her lap, and bowed to the weasel. Ioan could tell by the set of her features and the straightness of her shoulders that she was indeed doing her best to keep that part of her at the fore. "I am sorry, Debarre. The things that I did were for what I thought was best, but they wound up hurting a good many people. They were not fair to you and I apologize for the pain I caused. While I do not think I even *could* anymore, I will all the same endeavor not to act in such single-minded, self-serving ways again."
 
 Ioan couldn't read Debarre's expression well enough to gauge his thoughts on the matter, but judging by the way he loosened up and joined in more of the conversations after that, speaking even with Sasha, he seemed to at least have accepted the words to an extent.
 
@@ -224,21 +224,23 @@ They nodded and returned the hugs and kisses, getting hugs from Douglas as well
 
 May was a while in answering. "Perhaps, yes. We are not Michelle, have not been for centuries. None of us are Sasha --- least of all Sasha."
 
-Ioan nodded, brushing out the skunk's tail as ey'd been commanded. "He really relaxed after uploading, at least. Just a few little spikes in interest when certain things came up."
+Ioan nodded, brushing out the skunk's tail with a fine-toothed comb as ey'd been commanded. "He really relaxed after uploading, at least. Just a few little spikes in interest when certain things came up."
 
 "As hyperfixations go, it is a relatively innocuous one," she said, yawning. "But I am at least pleased to see that he is both engaging with other things and finding fulfillment in this aspect of his life when he can."
 
 "Besides, it's not like you guys don't hyperfixate on things."
 
-"Yes, yes," she mumbled sleepily. "But all the same, we have been slowly drifting away from what we used to be over the years, and in the face of all that we have seen, that is not such a bad thing."
+"Mmhm," she mumbled sleepily. "But all the same, we have been slowly drifting away from what we used to be over the years, and in the face of all that we have seen, that is not such a bad thing."
 
 -----
 
 Ioan wasn't sure why ey kept feeling surprised at the number of loose threads from just one event needed tying. The business with Qoheleth had been about as complicated, and had required meeting with several other Odists in order to finish the story, and each one came with a different tenor.
 
-The same was true here, as well. Many members of the clade --- some of whom ey'd not yet met --- visited and requested time with Sasha or with the three of them. Not all of these interactions went nearly so smoothly.
+The same was true here, as well. Many members of the clade --- some of whom ey'd not yet met --- visited and requested time with Sasha or with the three of them. Still, this culmination came after two and a quarter centuries for some, so perhaps it made sense.
 
-May stumbled in the middle of a rehearsal, falling to her knees and panting before pushing herself to her feet. She managed to make it through the rest of the scene before forking off so that she could continue as best as able while her root instance ducked back home.
+Not all of these interactions went nearly so smoothly.
+
+A scant few weeks later, May stumbled in the middle of a rehearsal, falling to her knees and panting before pushing herself to her feet. She managed to make it through the rest of the scene before forking off so that she could continue as best as able while her root instance ducked back home.
 
 Once there, she darted over towards where Ioan sat at eir desk, working through the process of writing Jonas's book. She knelt beside em, clutched a pawful of eir shirt and set up a cone of silence. Ey felt the ACL-scape of the cone shift several times until it was just about as secure as could be made.
 
@@ -268,9 +270,9 @@ Ey thought quickly, sent a message to Douglas. "Do you need May there?" ey final
 
 Ey sighed. "I'll ask. No guarantees."
 
-"No, I...no," the skunk mumbled once ey stepped back into the cone. She'd managed to sit up and while the panicked look on her face had calmed, the beginnings of rage had take its place. "Or...well, I can, but he cannot come here."
+"No, I...no," the skunk mumbled once ey stepped back into the cone. She'd managed to sit up and while the panicked look on her face had calmed, the beginnings of rage had taken its place. "Or...well, I can, but he cannot come here."
 
-"I suggested Douglas's to keep him from being too much. I figure if Sasha's reaction was anything to go by, it might quell him, or at least keep him quiet."
+"Maybe Douglas's to keep him from being too much? I figure if Sasha's reaction was anything to go by, it might quell him, or at least keep him distracted."
 
 The skunk sat, silent, for a moment, holding onto one of eir hands tightly. "Alright. Will Douglas be around to sweep if needed?"
 
@@ -282,7 +284,7 @@ Ey nodded.
 
 "I--"
 
-They were interrupted by a thudding sound followed by the scrabble of claws on the glass of the sliding door, Sasha finally finding purchase and whipping it open. May dropped the cone of silence.
+They were interrupted by a rapidly crescendoing thudding sound followed by the scrabble of claws on the glass of the sliding door, Sasha finally finding purchase and whipping it open. May dropped the cone of silence.
 
 "What the fuck is happening?!" she shouted.
 
@@ -292,9 +294,9 @@ Sasha frowned, straightened up, and brushed out her tunic. "Yes. He just about k
 
 "We're going to meet him at Douglas's field. That's about the start and end of it, though." Ioan took a deep breath and tried to tamp down the urge to pace. "Do you want to come?"
 
-Ey watched the heat of anger rise to her features as well. Both skunks were quickly heading towards furious. "Yes. Let us get this the fuck over with."
+Ey watched the heat of anger rise to her features as well. Both skunks were quickly heading towards fury. "Yes. Let us get this the fuck over with."
 
-Ioan sent a message to Zacharias spoken aloud for May's benefit. "The Field#002a0b1."
+Ioan sent a message to Zacharias spoken aloud for the skunks' benefit. "The Field#002a0b1."
 
 The reply was frantic. "What?! No!"
 
@@ -326,13 +328,13 @@ He arrived within a fraction of a second, yelped, and fell backwards, paws balle
 
 Zacharias moaned. He forced himself to lower his paws to the ground, gripping at clumps of grass and dandelions. Finally, he opened his eyes and stared out toward the horizon of the field. "I--"
 
-"What did you want, my dear? You sounded on the verge of panic."
+"What did you want, my dear Zack? You sounded on the verge of panic."
 
 "It is Jonas!" he said, finally snapping out of his daze. "Jonas! He killed all of my instances!"
 
-"Did you expect anything else?" Sasha asked. There was no humor or sweetness in her voice.
+"Did you expect anything else, loverfox??" Sasha asked. There was no humor or sweetness in her voice.
 
-"I...well."
+"I...I mean--"
 
 "You are the root instance, I am assuming?"