update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/030.md

@@ -114,13 +114,13 @@ The last thing ey remembered before falling asleep was watching the way True Nam
 
 Waking brought confusion. Something about the inversion from their normal bed, of having fallen asleep on eir other side, induced a subtle sense of vertigo at first. The pajamas were also bunched up around em strangely, adding in a subtle sense of constriction. As sleep slowly seeped away, though, the feeling lessened and ey was able to relax in the warmth beneath the covers.
 
-Warmer than expected, perhaps. May was still in eir arms, as expected, but eir arms were pressed against her front by a second warm bulk.
+Warmer than expected, perhaps. May was still in eir arms, as expected, but the position felt off with the addition of a second warm bulk.
 
 Ey tried to puzzle it out through the fog of doziness that still surrounded him. Eventually, ey gave up and levered eir eyes open, blinking a few times to bring the world into focus.
 
-At some point in the night, True Name had apparently rolled over and wound up curled in May's arms just as she was curled in eirs, trapping eir arms between the two skunks.
+At some point in the night, True Name had apparently rolled over and wound up curled in May's arms just as she was curled in eirs, and with with eir arm resting atop May's, ey was left hugging two skunks.
 
-Ey lay there for a while, trying to piece together eir feelings on the situation. As far as ey could remember, in eir still sleep-addled state, ey'd never been this close to True Name before. There had been the occasional casual touch, a few touches out of necessity --- grabbing eir hand to get away from Guōweī stood out as an obvious example --- but even going back to when ey'd first met her, there'd been very little touch. It made sense, given her personality, and yet here she was, all cuddled up with the two of them.
+Ey lay there for a while, trying to piece together eir feelings on the situation. As far as ey could remember, in eir still sleep-addled state, ey'd never been this close to True Name before. There had been the occasional casual touch, a few touches out of necessity --- grabbing eir hand to get away from Guōweī stood out as an obvious example --- but even going back to when ey'd first met her, there'd been very little touch. It made sense, given her personality, and yet here she was, all cuddled up with the two of them. If nothing else, ey should probably decide whether or not to extricate eir arm from the situation.
 
 Ah well, ey was probably worrying too much about this, just laying there and ruminating.
 
@@ -134,7 +134,7 @@ There was note of amusement, of almost-laughter, as she sent, *"It is okay, my d
 
 Eir mind raced as ey tried to figure out how best to explain what ey'd been cycling over.
 
-*"Would you like me to move? I wound up like this sometime in the night and have been staying still to keep from waking May Then My Name."*
+*"Would you like me to move? I wound up like this sometime in the night and have been staying still to keep from waking you two."*
 
 *"No..."* ey replied hesitantly. *"But you guessed right. I hope this isn't weird or anything. If you need to--"*
 
@@ -142,7 +142,7 @@ Eir mind raced as ey tried to figure out how best to explain what ey'd been cycl
 
 Ey hid the heat rising to eir cheeks by burying eir face in May's fur. *"Right, sorry. You're okay there. I'm just being awkward."*
 
-Ey felt True Name relax slightly against eir forearms. *"We both are. It is comforting and awkward in equal measure. One third of me is very happy to be held, one third would really rather not be touched, and one third is simply not used to it at all."*
+Ey felt True Name relax. *"We both are. It is comforting and awkward in equal measure. One third of me is very happy to be held, one third would really rather not be touched, and one third is simply not at all used to it."*
 
 *"Have you finished merging, then?"*
 
@@ -154,15 +154,15 @@ Ey smirked. *"Har har. All the same, I'm glad you made it through to this far, a
 
 They fell back into silence then. Ioan spent a while marveling at the mix of coziness and strangeness. It *was* comfortable, there with the two skunks. May was in eir arms as she should be, and True Name, similar as she was, fit quite well in the mix. The strangeness, then, came from the knowledge that she was specifically True Name. This was so counter to what ey knew of her from the years prior, and even the her that she'd become over the past few weeks since End Waking's merge.
 
-Ey could already tell that she'd changed, even beyond the fact that she'd wound up as close as this. Her speech patterns were shifting once again, losing some of their formality, finding their way back to grounding from the high-minded patterns she'd picked up from her other cocladist. And yet they weren't totally those of May. They didn't sound the same, just more alike than they had.
+Ey could already tell that she'd changed, even beyond the fact that she'd wound up as close as this. Her speech patterns were shifting once again, losing some of their formality, finding their way back to grounding from the high-minded patterns she'd picked up from her other cocladist, and yet they weren't totally those of May, either. They didn't sound the same, just more alike than they had.
 
-She was tripled, now. She was True Name and she was End Waking and she was May. Whether or not she would become something new or remain fractured ey didn't think even she knew. The adjustment would certainly take time for everyone. Ey liked End Waking quite a bit as a friend, but that friendship was different than that of True Name's. Ey was friends with May, but in that way that partners were friends beneath the romance, and there was certainly no comparison to be made between the relationships there. If she was of three minds, so was ey.
+She was tripled, now. She was True Name and she was End Waking and she was May. Whether or not she would become something new or remain fractured ey didn't think even she knew. The adjustment would certainly take time for everyone. Ey liked End Waking quite a bit as a friend, but that friendship was different than that of True Name's. Ey was friends with May, but in that way that partners were still friends beneath the romance of a big-R Relationship, and there was certainly no comparison to be made between the small-r relationships there. If she was of three minds, so was ey.
 
 *"Unrelated to comfort or awkwardness, I am going to get up to make coffee,"* she sent, nudging em out of rumination once more. *"I did not sleep, and if I do not have coffee soon, I shall surely die."*
 
 May grumbled again when True Name rolled away from her, gathering the remainder of the covers and a stray pillow up to replace the space that had been left by her cocladist's absence. Ey couldn't tell if the skunk was actually awake or not, but she settled down once more, if nothing else.
 
-True Name sat up and scrubbed at her face with her paws before grinning down to em. *"My assessment remains. You two are so cute that it is disgusting."*
+True Name sat up and scrubbed at her face with her paws, wiping the grit of sleep --- or, more likely, tears --- from her eyes. She grinned down to em. *"My assessment remains. You two are so cute that it is disgusting."*
 
 Stifling a laugh, ey rolled eir eyes. *"Blame May."*
 
@@ -220,7 +220,7 @@ She laughed. "Asshole. Where did this humor come from?"
 
 "Agreed, yes," she said between sips. "I was not expecting her to turn into a cuddlebug, but I suppose that will level out before long. Was that awkward, this morning?"
 
-Ey shrugged. "A little, I guess. Just hard making it work in my head."
+Ey shrugged. "A little, I guess. Just hard making it work in my head. Doesn't fit with what I remember of her."
 
 "I cannot picture you getting cozy with *just* True Name, no. I can barely picture her getting cozy with anyone, and that is certainly not even bringing End Waking's general touch aversion into the equation."
 
@@ -250,6 +250,8 @@ Ioan tilted eir head. "How do you mean?"
 
 "Well, no," ey hazarded. "But I don't know just how, yet."
 
+"Me either.
+
 They reconvened over a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs and bacon with toast.
 
 "I instructed my fork to quit," True Name said as a way of opening the conversation.
@@ -258,13 +260,13 @@ They reconvened over a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs and bacon with toast.
 
 "Yes. Having worked through some conflicts, it will not be easy, but I am comfortable with the direction in which it is going." She took a bite of toast piled high with eggs and a small piece of bacon, chewing thoughtfully. "It is not all positive, but it has given me hope for a pleasant life moving forward."
 
-"Was your life unpleasant before?" When May frowned at em, ey held up eir hands. "Sorry, maybe that's impertinent, or unimportant."
+"Was your life unpleasant before?" When May frowned at em, ey held up eir hands. "Sorry, maybe that's impertinent. It's not important."
 
 True Name shook her head. "It is okay. It was, yes. It was fulfilling. I felt hopeful and comfortable with the path I had chosen. The work itself was starting to grate on me, but that had less to do with the work than the coworker."
 
 May, having subsided, finished her bite of toast before asking, "Did you have hope for happiness with just End Waking's merge?"
 
-"Not particularly, if I am honest." She reached out a paw to give one of May's a squeeze, adding quickly, "Again, I understand why --- now more than ever --- why you did what you did, and I do approve of it in light of what is happening with Jonas, but it was an uncomfortable duality in comparison to this comfortable plurality."
+"No. Not at all." She reached out a paw to give one of May's a squeeze, adding quickly, "Again, I understand why --- now more than ever --- why you did what you did, and I do approve of it in light of what is happening with Jonas, but it was an uncomfortable duality in comparison to this comfortable plurality."
 
 May smiled gratefully, returning that squeeze.
 
@@ -280,11 +282,11 @@ The skunk preened.
 
 Ioan watched the exchange, grinning. Beyond just what she'd said, ey could read relief in May's features. That resentment towards her down-tree instance had never quite gone away, ey knew, and, on some level, it likely never would. Still, that True Name was heading towards being a new person seemed to have brought out a new sense of friendliness within eir partner that had been lacking to that point.
 
-Ey wondered if she would go through a reevaluation of who True Name had been before, much as ey had? It was certainly enough that she felt more positive, but ey --- em and Codrin#Castor, perhaps --- seemed to have dropped much of that resentment that had lingered in May, though whether that was due to a difference in temperament or the relatively short time they'd known the skunk in comparison, ey couldn't tell.
+Ey wondered if she would go through a reevaluation of who True Name had been before, much as ey had. It was certainly enough that she felt more positive, but ey --- em and Codrin#Castor, perhaps --- seemed to have dropped much of that resentment that had lingered in May, though whether that was due to a difference in temperament or the relatively short time they'd known the skunk in comparison, ey couldn't tell.
 
 "Is it just me, or is eir mumbling getting worse?" True Name stage-whispered to May.
 
-She whispered back, "Perhaps the centuries are catching up to em."
+She whispered back, "Perhaps the centuries are catching up to em. Is this how the Bălans crack? Should we warn Dear?v"
 
 "Are all skunks such brats?" Ey rolled eir eyes.
 
@@ -334,7 +336,7 @@ True Name sniffled and lifted her head. "Sorry?"
 
 "Right. May," True Name said, gingerly resting her paw in her up-tree instance's.
 
-"I do not know how you get from this world to that one, either, my dear, but," she said, taking a deep breath. "So long as you come by that path earnestly, I do not think I have a problem with it. Ioan?"
+"I do not know how you get from this world to that one, either, my dear, but," she said, taking a deep breath. "So long as you come by that path earnestly and we discuss it in the moment, I do not think I have a problem with it. Ioan?"
 
 Ey held up eir hands. "Don't look at me. I don't have a clue."
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/index.md

@@ -67,7 +67,7 @@ Wherein True Name and May reconcile, and we deal with the problem of the ownersh
         * [o] [Plan and risk](029) --- they plan together on how to make this a more deliberate thing than the merger with EW, setting up a nest in which she can process comfortably, Ioan lays in supplies, TN negotiates boundaries and how they'll shift, May merges down
         * [o] [Grand gesture](030) --- TN processes, cries a lot, they talk about what this means (acknowledging that talking boundaries is a new thing for TN) It goes well enough that her fork quits
     * [ ] CHAPTER Debarre 2350
-        * [ ] [Result for EW]() --- EW and Debarre talk about how they both feel about TN's mergers and how this could go either way for EW: he feels better about TN, but now he's listless and unsure of how he feels about the clade given how much of his identity was bound up in rejecting TN.
+        * [ ] [Result for EW](031) --- EW and Debarre talk about how they both feel about TN's mergers and how this could go either way for EW: he feels better about TN, but now he's listless and unsure of how he feels about the clade given how much of his identity was bound up in rejecting TN.
         * [ ] [Result for Jonas and Debarre]() --- They talk about how this is working for Jonas, how it's dangerous because it gives Jonas & Co an opening through May's known weaknesses (less his because they haven't studied him nearly so much), how EW was requested to be there. Maybe some more about reactive elements? Debarre comes home to talk with e.g: user11824?
     * [.] CHAPTER Ioan 2350
         * [ ] [TN's path forward]() --- TN decides she's ready to start planning the meeting, has a better idea of what she'll become (maybe merge down? See where it goes)