update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/ioan/010.md

@@ -17,7 +17,7 @@ They'd each brought their own contribution for the night, as well. After dinner,
 
 For his part, Debarre had brought fireworks. Or *a* firework, at least. The weasel produced a double fist-sized sphere of *papier mache*, and set it atop a small cylinder right next to the fire. With End Waking watching, hawklike, he directed everyone to stand back a few feet and lit the fuse with a small punk from the fire, explaining, "I've been working on this for the last seventy years or so. It's only about fifty percent possible outside the System, but my excuse is that I never saw fireworks out there so I can do whatever the fuck I want."
 
-The firework lifted off the cylinder it had been set on top of with surprising grace. Rather than rocketing into the air, it rose slowly, splitting in half a few inches up and rising in a tight helix, the weasel explaining that the propellant was tightly controlled to allow such, until it was hovering about three meters above the fire on a column of sparks as orange as those of the fire itself. From there, small spheres of cool-blue sparks popped free and danced around it in slow, hypnotic whorls. Finally, in a fountain green fire, billowing into the shape of a tree, it fell back into the campfire with a hissing sigh to be consumed by the flames.
+The firework lifted off the cylinder it had been set on top of with surprising grace. Rather than rocketing into the air, it rose slowly, splitting in half a few inches up and rising in a tight helix, the weasel explaining that the propellant was tightly controlled to allow such, until it was hovering about three meters above the fire on a column of sparks as orange as those of the fire itself. From there, small spheres of cool-blue sparks popped free and danced around it in slow, hypnotic whorls. Finally, in a fountain of green fire, billowing into the shape of a tree, it fell back into the campfire with a hissing sigh to be consumed by the flames.
 
 "Out-fucking-classed," A Finger Pointing grumbled. "You said 'bring something', my dear, so I brought a bottle to drink, and you all bring plays and music and fireworks."
 
@@ -103,7 +103,7 @@ The skunk shrugged. "That is not enough to stand in the way of my desire. Would
 
 "I was on a field of dandelions and grass," May said, her voice distant and dream-fogged. "And there was no echo. The world stretched out before me in empty nothingness, and there was no echo. At my back was a bar --- scratched wood, stools, a foot rail, a gutter for pouring drinks --- and the only way I could hear my own voice pass through the air was to huddle between those stools and face the bar."
 
-"Words came unbidden," A Finger Pointing picked up where May left off. "And as they passed through my mind, they dripped and smeared; a painting with too much wet paint on the canvas stood on its edge. The dreaming mind did not know what to do with language that close to the surface, and so the language stained all it touched."
+"Words came unbidden," A Finger Pointing picked up where May left off. "And as they passed through my mind, they dripped and smeared --- a painting with too much wet paint on the canvas stood on its edge. The dreaming mind did not know what to do with language that close to the surface, and so the language stained all it touched."
 
 End Waking nodded, speaking toward the fire. "And so I screamed and I ran, and when I looked back, the bar was gone, and when I looked forward again, there it was. Had I turned? Was the world so small? The words came unbidden, and with each one that left my mouth, a cord that tethered me to reality snapped, and I grew lighter and lighter, and I feared I would float up into the sky, into the sun."
 
@@ -121,7 +121,7 @@ End Waking's words came with a finality that seemed to draw the memory to a clos
 
 "This is what we fear," May said.
 
-"With Time? I saw through your eyes," Debarre said, so quiet as to be almost a whisper. End Waking rested a paw on his knee. "I was so happy to see you, and so terrified to be there. Two and a half minutes was enough for a lifetime."
+"With the Artemisians and their time? I saw through your eyes," Debarre said, so quiet as to be almost a whisper. End Waking rested a paw on his knee. "I was so happy to see you, and so terrified to be there. Two and a half minutes was enough for a lifetime."
 
 "Or memory?" Douglas added.
 

writing/post-self/neviim/local/codrin/009.md

@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@ True Name's ability to keep a steady, half-smiling expression was admirable. Eve
 
 Having instructed the Artemisians on how to use cones of silence, there were far fewer breaks throughout the last two days, limited to one in the morning, one in the afternoon, and a longer lunch in the middle. That did not stop them from settling into private conversation every few minutes to discuss whatever answer they might give.
 
-Ey initially found it strange that added downtime would make the their party more tired rather than less, but after some consideration --- and a brief talk with Sarah --- ey'd come to the realization that those periods of quiet between question and answer were still spent in expectation. They were still working during those pauses. They were still in conversation, if only by way of watching and waiting, trying to guess what might have led to the need to have that private discussion. Ey could not read expressions beyond eir limited notes so far, could not speak the language well enough, and certainly could not read lips, so ey was left only with guesses and suppositions.
+Ey initially found it strange that added downtime would make their party more tired rather than less, but after some consideration --- and a brief talk with Sarah --- ey'd come to the realization that those periods of quiet between question and answer were still spent in expectation. They were still working during those pauses. They were still in conversation, if only by way of watching and waiting, trying to guess what might have led to the need to have that private discussion. Ey could not read expressions beyond eir limited notes so far, could not speak the language well enough, and certainly could not read lips, so ey was left only with guesses and suppositions.
 
 And through it all, True Name seemed to be trying to match the firstracers for patient expressions.
 
@@ -74,7 +74,7 @@ Ey nodded.
 
 "Well, that'd be a hell of a stunt to pull." She sighed, steepling her fingers before her. "I could only really tell them apart by the way they acted, but, like you, I only met them a week or so ago. Is ey sure that it's not just due to the way the skew is impacting them?"
 
-"I don't know, really, but given that a good chunk of the rest of the letter, as well as subsequent ones, has been about that impact and the effects its having on the meetings, I don't doubt eir observations."
+"I don't know, really, but given that a good chunk of the rest of the letter, as well as subsequent ones, has been about that impact and the effects it's having on the meetings, I don't doubt eir observations."
 
 There was a moment of silence as they both digested the conversation. They still had a few minutes of time left, if ey still wanted to write eir note, so ey allowed the moment to stretch.