From 065c43356c053ad0de64f73008060db6fb329e8a Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Madison Scott-Clary Date: Thu, 23 Apr 2020 23:10:03 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] update from sparkleup --- writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-13.md | 27 +++++++---------- writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-14.md | 41 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++ writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-17.md | 4 +++ writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-18.md | 4 +++ writing/tarot-experiment/index.md | 6 ++-- 5 files changed, 62 insertions(+), 20 deletions(-) create mode 100644 writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-14.md create mode 100644 writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-17.md create mode 100644 writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-18.md diff --git a/writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-13.md b/writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-13.md index c689cc7c..e9700496 100644 --- a/writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-13.md +++ b/writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-13.md @@ -1,7 +1,6 @@ -August 13, 2008 ---------------- +%title August 13, 2008 -### The Background {#the-background .unnumbered} +## The Background I've been feeling pretty pessimistic lately. Andrew still weighs heavily on my mind, and I'm finding out slowly just how deeply I had entrenched him into my life. I was really pretty torn up when he left me, and everything was made worse when I found out that he did so simply to be with someone he was already nearly dating behind my back. Last night, however, I found out that they were *moving* in together in New York, despite all his plans to *move* out with me in Colorado. Feeling deeply hurt, I stopped watching his journal, and blocked him from communicating directly with me. I had done my best to wish them luck, and now I feel as if I'm just having my nose rubbed in the ruins of our relationship, so I'm breaking off all contact. I'm telling myself that I need to do this in order to get over him and *move* on with the rest of my life, but really, I'm sure it's little more than a passive aggressive way for me to get back at him for telling me he'd keep in touch and then doing this. @@ -13,7 +12,7 @@ All this pessimism has served to do little more than *block* my creativity. I ha As may be evident, I'm having a real problem with *movement* and the *inability to move*. I feel stopped up in many ways, as if the world --- particularly those close to me --- race on by without me. And so I laid out the cards... -### The Drawing {#the-drawing .unnumbered} +## The Drawing With my dark mood, I chose Aleister Crowley's **Thoth**[@tarotThoth] deck to do the reading, figuring that the bright and attractive colors of the RWS deck didn't quite match what I was feeling. I wasn't feeling simply down, either, or I might've chosen the Aquarian deck for its dreary, clouded look. I wanted the sharp, geometric shapes and smart color choices of Lady Frieda Harris' cards to fill out my mood. @@ -23,22 +22,16 @@ The pattern started with a card in the upper left, leftmost of a row of three ca From left to right, the cards were: -- 6 of Wands, 'Victory' - -- Queen of Disks - -- 5 of Wands, 'Strife' - -- Above the previous card, 6 of Swords, 'Science' - -- To the right of the previous card, Princess of Swords - -- Overlapping the upper-right hand corner of the previous card, 4 of Wands, 'Completion' +* 6 of Wands, 'Victory' +* Queen of Disks +* 5 of Wands, 'Strife' +* Above the previous card, 6 of Swords, 'Science' +* To the right of the previous card, Princess of Swords +* Overlapping the upper-right hand corner of the previous card, 4 of Wands, 'Completion' ![image](image8-13-08.png) -The Reading {#the-reading .unnumbered} ------------ +## The Reading The theme of movement became more and more evident as the cards were flipped over, one by one, starting from the left of the board. Wands is the suit of fire, that which is never still. If nothing else, fire moves downwards and outwards as it consumes, while air, water, and earth can all be relatively motionless. diff --git a/writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-14.md b/writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-14.md new file mode 100644 index 00000000..a16115a6 --- /dev/null +++ b/writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-14.md @@ -0,0 +1,41 @@ +%title August 14, 2008 + +## The Background + +Despite yesterday's fairly positive reading, I'm still operating in that pessimistic sort of vein. While less focused on relationships, the question of money is still bothering me quite a bit, and that's leading to me being rather down on myself about other things. + +In particular, I'm rather concerned about my ability to focus on one thing for any extended period of time. The most obvious object of this focus is this project itself. I worry that I can't complete even 78 readings for myself and others. This is a perennial problem for me, and I often find myself flitting between interests, whether or not I have completed any projects begun in the previous interestes. For example, recently, I've gone through cooking, brewing, my own small business, programming, guns, and so on. + +What's concerning me is that I worked on the problem of being stuck, and I'm afraid that, once I start moving again, I'll fall into old habits and start moving in too many directions at once. + +## The Drawing + +Still feeling in a much brighter mood than the previous day, I chose the **Universal Waite**[@tarotRWS] deck - a recoloring of the RWS deck using colored pencils to soften all of the harsh colors in the original block-printed cards. Additionally, I drew a card earlier in the day just to think on and try to focus my thoughts and get in the mood for the day - I drew the Eight of Swords. + +The reading was done in a modified version of Rachel Pollack's Work Cycle spread[@pollack97]. Since I was working from her book, which features the RWS deck heavily, the spread felt particularly fitting, and I even deigned to introduce the element of reversed cards. I normally work with elemental dispositions for the rather embarassing reason of the fact that having the cards facing different ways grates on my nerves. The spread was modified to leave off the 'inner and outer being' cards because I was running a little short on time. + +From left to right, the cards were: + +* Past Experience: The Star reversed +* Expectations: Nine of Wands reversed +* Work: Knight of Swords reversed +* Work: Nine of Pentacles +* Work: Page of Pentacles reversed +* Outcome: Five of Wands revesred +* Result: Eight of Pentacles reversed + +![image](image8-14-08.png) + +## The Reading + +The eight of swords shows a man with eight swords stuck in his back and ear as he lies on the beach. There is no blood coming from his body. This image describes the ultimate in over reaction. Where one sword would've sufficed, eight have been used. The lack of blood shows surreality, as in the man may not actually be a man at all, as if eight swords have been driven through a ghost, hallucination, or shadow of an idea on this beach, right at the shore where the conscious meets the subconscious. I think that this card, as my 'card of the day' of sorts, is telling me to relax. I have spent this time working with my stressors --- getting away from some, integrating others --- and now I'm creating more for myself by overreacting at imaginary things from the depths of my subconscious. With this in mind, I drew my reading for the day, immediately surprised by only one upright card. + +The Star, following immediately after The Tower, suggests a time of healing. Not only is the unconscious exposed and beginning to blend with the conscious mind, but unlike The Tower, which describes the same idea, The Star deals more with the calm after the storm --- the period spent healing that rent caused by the fall from The Tower. Reversed, we are cut off from that calm, and that fear from our fall turns to insecurity or even arrogance. As it takes its place in my past experience, I see that as an incomplete use of my flitting interests: those things that distract me from stressors in order to help me heal are not being carried out to completion, and instead of healing over, I'm left with scars. This echoes my desire to follow through with this project to completion. This, of all of my projects, is overt self-therapy, as it's no secret that I am using this, in part, to help get over a real "Tower" of a summer. + +This moves into my expectations for this Work: the Nine of Wands shows a man ready and wary, keeping his eyes out from enemies, ones that may or may not still be enemies. The card tells of wariness and strenght, but also of seeing fights where there may in fact be none at all. Reversed twists that meaning to seeking a way out of this constant cycle, either from being overwhelmed by the aversions or simply distressed by them. While this is all well and good, it should be noted that sometimes these defenses are built up for a reason, and should not be dropped lightly. There are cases where such defenses are necessary, and I think I'm focusing too much on these right now. I think that opening myself up through the cards is one case where I will *have* to drop those defenses and seek another way; I consciously know this, and expect that this experiment will help. + +The three cards of the Work group show what Pollack describes as "...situ-ations, influences, or attitudes that the person can use or must overcome." In my case, more warnings are present. The Knight of Swords reversed suggests wildly casting about, showing a need to make careful decisions and to be aware of my situation. The Nine of Pentacles is a card of success due to sacrifice; I need to be mindful that this sacrifice really is for the better and not let the fact that I am sacrificing something get in the way --- the reward is always greater for the sacrifice. Finally, the Page of Pentacles reversed warns again: without a sense of hard work, all of the focus and grounded-ness of the pentacles is liable to dissipate, leading to what Waite called 'prodigality'. + +Taken together as a group these cards paint a picture of what needs to be done. While I know that I am working towards avoiding this casting about ceaselessly for something with which to help myself, I will need the Pentacles' focus and the sacrifice showin in the Nine. To me, I see this as sacrificing time and energy, both of which seem to be increasingly parcelled out in today's world. Free time is always seen as valuable, and it's difficult to give some of mine up to a task that requires such mental exertion and, honestly, leaves me intellectually winded for a period afterwards. I needn't be afraid of this sacrifice, however, as expensing that energy will help me in at least two ways: not only with the therapy inherent in this project; but also as a sort of exercise, building up my intellectual stamina, as it were, getting my mind used to working in these intricate patterns. + +Following the Work group of cards is the final combination of Outcome and Result. While Outcome stands for the likely way that things will develop, Result implies a more personal side, showing how the outcome with affect the subject or their reaction to it. For my reading, these cards came out fairly disheartening at first. The Five of Wands reversed suggests rules abandoned in this intellectual battle of mine, leading to nastier combat. I'll clearly have to do more to stick with this interest, lest it fall by the wayside - perhaps things out of the ordinary for me. The Eight of Pentacles reversed on the other hand, shows frustration and lack of fulfillment due to looking strictly for success rather than working for the sake of work. This meaning grated on my nerves until I saw it as just another step in the path: not only is success in the standard sense of strict completion unlikely, but I am almost certain to become frustrated by not really having an ending point to this at all. After all, this is only seventy-eight tarot readings, which is only a little more than a fifth of a year if they are done one a day! I could change so much more, reading every day for the rest of my life, and still never reach an end to this experiment, as there is always more change to be had. This is certainly something I must learn to accept if I am to keep this project and others going strong. diff --git a/writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-17.md b/writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-17.md new file mode 100644 index 00000000..de7e461a --- /dev/null +++ b/writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-17.md @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +\relax +\citation{tarotRWS} + +\@writefile{toc}{\contentsline {subsection}{\numberline {3.3}August 17, 2008}{12}{subsection.3.3}} \@setckpt{data8-17-08}{ \setcounter{page}{16} \setcounter{equation}{0} \setcounter{enumi}{4} \setcounter{enumii}{0} \setcounter{enumiii}{0} \setcounter{enumiv}{0} \setcounter{footnote}{0} \setcounter{mpfootnote}{0} \setcounter{part}{0} \setcounter{section}{3} \setcounter{subsection}{3} \setcounter{subsubsection}{0} \setcounter{paragraph}{0} \setcounter{subparagraph}{0} \setcounter{figure}{0} \setcounter{table}{0} \setcounter{Item}{8} \setcounter{Hfootnote}{0} \setcounter{section@level}{2} } diff --git a/writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-18.md b/writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-18.md new file mode 100644 index 00000000..d202b697 --- /dev/null +++ b/writing/tarot-experiment/2008-08-18.md @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +\relax +\citation{tarotRWS} + +\@writefile{toc}{\contentsline {subsection}{\numberline {3.4}August 18, 2008}{16}{subsection.3.4}} \@setckpt{data8-18-08}{ \setcounter{page}{21} \setcounter{equation}{0} \setcounter{enumi}{10} \setcounter{enumii}{0} \setcounter{enumiii}{0} \setcounter{enumiv}{0} \setcounter{footnote}{0} \setcounter{mpfootnote}{0} \setcounter{part}{0} \setcounter{section}{3} \setcounter{subsection}{4} \setcounter{subsubsection}{0} \setcounter{paragraph}{0} \setcounter{subparagraph}{0} \setcounter{figure}{0} \setcounter{table}{0} \setcounter{Item}{18} \setcounter{Hfootnote}{0} \setcounter{section@level}{2} } diff --git a/writing/tarot-experiment/index.md b/writing/tarot-experiment/index.md index 3ad7a325..67ac7f97 100644 --- a/writing/tarot-experiment/index.md +++ b/writing/tarot-experiment/index.md @@ -27,7 +27,7 @@ What I aim to learn from this experiment is basically what would happen by chang ### Observation -We come to the notion that the Tarot works precisely because it makes no sense. The information exists. Our unconscious selves already know it. What we need is a device to act as a bridge to conscious perception. [pollack97] +> We come to the notion that the Tarot works precisely because it makes no sense. The information exists. Our unconscious selves already know it. What we need is a device to act as a bridge to conscious perception.[@pollack97] The modern Tarot deck is made up of 78 cards - there are 56 minor arcana and 22 major arcana cards. All of these cards represent different archetypes, or general ideas about different aspects of life, humanity, and the self. More than simply divining the future, one my seek out correspondences between situations at hand, in the past, or possibly in the future through these archetypal images, laid out within the framework of the cards and how they relate to each other. One can utilize a 'spread', a pattern in which to lay the cards with each of their positions holding a predetermined meaning so as to deepen the meanings of each card. Just as frequently, however, one may let the cards, the reader, or the querent determine the positions of those cards, divining meanings for them as the reading progresses. @@ -51,11 +51,11 @@ When the 78 readings are completed, I will attempt to analyze the information fr As these readings are very personal in nature, I feel the need to introduce myself before just jumping right into portions of my life, lest they make no sense at all. -I was born Matthew Joseph Scott in January, 1986 to Donna Karr and Ron Scott, two engineers with the minds of scientists. I was raised a skeptic and an atheist. Life was uncomplicated: everything that could be explained, was, and anything that couldn't was set aside as an unknown until it could be explained with no further thoughts on the matter. Of course, when you tell a young child not to do something, that's a very effective way to invite them to do it in secret if possible; I was told not to concern myself with the unexplainable matters of religion, mysticism. Thus it was that I began acquiring my secret stash of information on all of those subjects, beginning with a King James bible given to me by a camp counsellor, working up to a modest library of books dealing with topics ranging from the ``big five'' religions and reiki to the history and use of drugs. I have already mentioned a little about my introductions to Tarot. +I was born Matthew Joseph Scott in January, 1986 to Donna Karr and Ron Scott, two engineers with the minds of scientists. I was raised a skeptic and an atheist. Life was uncomplicated: everything that could be explained, was, and anything that couldn't was set aside as an unknown until it could be explained with no further thoughts on the matter. Of course, when you tell a young child not to do something, that's a very effective way to invite them to do it in secret if possible; I was told not to concern myself with the unexplainable matters of religion, mysticism. Thus it was that I began acquiring my secret stash of information on all of those subjects, beginning with a King James bible given to me by a camp counsellor, working up to a modest library of books dealing with topics ranging from the "big five" religions and reiki to the history and use of drugs. I have already mentioned a little about my introductions to Tarot. That leads to me today, August 13, 2008: I am a student in the music composition program at Colorado State University in Fort Collins, Colorado. After trying (and failing) to be a biochemist, I've accepted that I make a far better musician and publisher than a scientist, but the need to explain, to experiment, and to experience the world around me remains. -To lend even more specifics to the situation, I was only recently accepted into the composition program after spending nearly four years in music education, finding myself disillusioned with the American public education system. This means that my four years of paid tuition promised by my dad are up, and I must begin paying for my own tuition from my earnings. I work at the campus library as technical support, and I am currently dealing with some problematic homophobia from my boss and coworkers there. On top of that, just a few months ago, I underwent a very difficult breakup with my boyfriend at the time. I ``rebounded'' onto another friend of mine, but as soon as we started getting close to each other, he had to move down to Denver, Colorado, an hour's drive away. +To lend even more specifics to the situation, I was only recently accepted into the composition program after spending nearly four years in music education, finding myself disillusioned with the American public education system. This means that my four years of paid tuition promised by my dad are up, and I must begin paying for my own tuition from my earnings. I work at the campus library as technical support, and I am currently dealing with some problematic homophobia from my boss and coworkers there. On top of that, just a few months ago, I underwent a very difficult breakup with my boyfriend at the time. I "rebounded" onto another friend of mine, but as soon as we started getting close to each other, he had to move down to Denver, Colorado, an hour's drive away. It was this combination of stressors that lead me to look into creating my own change in life. This jumble of emotions and ideas is what I am right now, and I want see what I can make of that by being more mindful of my life, guiding it where I can, and becoming a better person, using the Tarot as a tool.