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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2021-04-12 23:10:05 -07:00
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writing/sawtooth/limerent-object/prequel.md
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@ -73,3 +73,37 @@ God spoke to him, then. As ever, His voice was not in words, but woven into the
He bristled his whiskers, and breathed in deeply, his eyes scanning trees lit by the occasional yellow sulfur lamp, stark battlements against the night sky. God spoke to him in the way his eyes perceived the night to fade from a blue-tinged gray at the tree-line up to the star-stained black above him. He spoke in the feeling of the short blades of grass poking up through the bristly fur of his tail, and He spoke in the citrus tang of a confession forming in his mouth. He bristled his whiskers, and breathed in deeply, his eyes scanning trees lit by the occasional yellow sulfur lamp, stark battlements against the night sky. God spoke to him in the way his eyes perceived the night to fade from a blue-tinged gray at the tree-line up to the star-stained black above him. He spoke in the feeling of the short blades of grass poking up through the bristly fur of his tail, and He spoke in the citrus tang of a confession forming in his mouth.
"I don't want to be here." "I don't want to be here."
-----
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confessional, and I accuse myself...I accuse..."
Other than the soft sounds of breathing and the barest hint of vulpine beneath the scent-block, nothing made its way from the other side of the screen.
"I accuse myself of the sin of doubt."
"You know that doubt is not a sin, my child."
"I do, but my doubt is in my vocation."
"I see. Do you doubt in our Lord Jesus Christ?"
"No, nor do I doubt in God the Father or the Holy Spirit. I find myself doubting, uh...I find myself doubting the church and my role in it."
"What about the church do you doubt, if your faith is solid?"
"I can't put my finger on it."
There was a quiet sigh from the other side of the screen.
"I suppose my sin is that I am doubting my ability to serve God and continue on in my role here."
"I see."
It was Dee's turn to wait in silence. Eventually, he bowed his head and said, "That is all, Father. For these and all of my sins, I ask forgiveness from God, and penance and absolution from you."
There was a pause, and then, "Alright, I will ask you to say three Our Fathers for doubting in the path that God has laid out for you. We all have roles to play in our lives, and through us, God works within the world. It could be that you are still discovering this path, but doubt will only hinder you from carrying out His works. However, my son--" The priest rushed to forestall Dee, and the coyote could hear a smile creeping into his voice. "Outside of your penance, I would also like you to talk to your advisor. As your confessor, I can only offer you spiritual guidance."
Dee splayed his ears, chagrined, and bowed his head. "Thank you, Father. O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins..."
With the final *go in piece* still ringing in his ears, with the tips of his fingers still humming from crossing himself, with the hot flush of embarrassment still pulling at his cheeks, Dee stepped from the confessional and blinked rapidly. He took two quick, grounding breaths, and then walked from the chapel.