update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/005.md

@@ -4,9 +4,9 @@ Debarre and Do I Know God After The End Waking stood, naked and frowning, on the
 
 "And you're sure it's deep enough?"
 
-"I am not, no," End Waking said and then let out a shout and leapt off the overhang out over the water
+"I am not, no," End Waking said, then let out a shout and leapt off the overhang out over the water.
 
-The weasel's frowned deepened. No sounds of screaming below, at least.
+The weasel's frown deepened. No sounds of screaming below, at least.
 
 "Fuck it," he muttered, and stepped off the edge of the rock, arms folded over his chest, and plunged, feet first, into the water.
 
@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@ Once there, they parked a meter or so before the fire and huddled beneath his wo
 
 "That was fucking cold," Debarre said once he was able to speak without stammering. "You're such an asshole, I can't believe I ever listen to you. Fine fucking way to ring in the new year."
 
-"Yes, well, I love you to," End Waking said, grinning. "Thank you for joining me, and for your help today."
+"Yes, well, I love you too," End Waking said, grinning. "Thank you for joining me, and for your help today."
 
 They'd spent the afternoon building up a rammed earth wall for the skunk's new house, pulling sandy clay from the pile they'd brought up from the pond's shore the previous day, mixing in deer's blood as a binder before stacking it in a frame, and pounding it with logs sanded smooth and cut down to a diameter that fit comfortably in their paws.
 
@@ -106,7 +106,7 @@ Debarre laughed, shaking his head. "I'm just worried about so many changes in so
 
 "How so?"
 
-"I dunny," Debarre mumbled. "I just think there's a lot of subtle things --- more like the little stuff May Then My Name talks about --- and I'm worried those will break or disappear."
+"I dunno," Debarre mumbled. "I just think there's a lot of subtle things --- more like the little stuff May Then My Name talks about --- and I'm worried those will break or disappear."
 
 End Waking hummed thoughtfully. "They have survived Secession and Launch."
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/007.md

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 # Ioan Bălan --- 2350
 
-Through some stroke of luck or perhaps some forgetful nature, it was perpetually early summer at Arrowhead Lake, that abandoned mountain sim Ioan and May had long ago adopted. Whether or not winter had sacked in their home, they could at least take a summer walk somewhere.
+Through some stroke of luck or perhaps some forgetful nature, it was perpetually early summer at Arrowhead Lake, that abandoned mountain sim Ioan and May had long ago adopted. Whether or not winter had socked them in at home, they could at least take a summer walk somewhere.
 
 "Winter has its place," ey'd explained to May when she'd gotten particularly whiny about the snow. "I like the snow so long as I'm inside."
 
@@ -16,19 +16,19 @@ She'd laughed at em, then, shaking her head. "I miss our porch swing. I miss our
 
 So it was a good escape when it got cold. They could duck off --- alone or together --- to the lake and head for a walk.
 
-May had chosen the name Arrowhead Lake over Ioan's protests that it looked nothing like an arrowhead, being more kidney shaped. The sim itself was tagged Peak Lake#587a9383. Maybe it was just Peak lake? This seemed only to have emboldened her when ey brought it up, and ey was firmly overruled. 
+May had chosen the name Arrowhead Lake over Ioan's protests that it looked nothing like an arrowhead, being more kidney shaped. The sim itself was tagged Peak Lake#587a9383. Maybe it was just Peak Lake? This seemed only to have emboldened her when ey brought it up, and ey was firmly overruled. 
 
 Whenever ey walked out there without her, as ey did today, ey'd think on this. Maybe it had little to do with the lake itself. Maybe it had to do with the silhouettes of the pines? Or something to do with way the snow lingered on pointed peaks?
 
 "Or maybe she's just a brat," ey mumbled, smiling to emself as ey walked slowly along the deer trail. "No reasoning with an Odist."
 
-Ey'd long wrestled with whether or not they were just normal people. Perhaps Michelle had been --- ey'd not spent enough time around her to know, and what time ey had managed had been mostly silence. Toward the end, her conversations were more interruptions than not, although the impression ey'd gotten was that she'd been kind and gentle, while still being the type to care passionately about things or, more often, people. The impression just hadn't been a strong one. Not enough time to for it to solidify.
+Ey'd long wrestled with whether or not they were just normal people. Perhaps Michelle had been --- ey'd not spent enough time around her to know, and what time ey had managed had been mostly silence. Toward the end, her conversations were more interruptions than not, although the impression ey'd gotten was that she'd been kind and gentle, while still being the type to care passionately about things or, more often, people. The impression just hadn't been a strong one. Not enough time for it to solidify.
 
 Ey'd eventually come to the conclusion, confirmed through discussions with several of the clade, that each of them had begun more as a distillation of a singular aspect of Michelle than the whole of her. That wasn't to say that they weren't complete in their own right, simply that each was singularly focused on their interests and skills, a perpetual hyperfixation. What was it Codrin and Dear had said? Even True Name was a fully realized person.
 
 Normal, though? Could one be both a singular facet and normal?
 
-And maybe it went beyond them. Maybe it's a dispersionista thing. Ey could see such a habit building even without Michelle's unique experiences.
+And maybe it went beyond them. Maybe it was a dispersionista thing. Ey could see such a habit building even without Michelle's unique experiences.
 
 When the trail dipped down out of the trees toward the shore, ey stooped to pick up a handful of pebbles, enough to toss into the water once ey reached the boulder at the lake's outlet. Codrin had eir cairns, ey supposed, and ey had a heap of pebbles at the bottom of the lake, tossed in one by one over the decades.
 
@@ -158,7 +158,7 @@ Ey nodded. "I just want things to remain smooth between everyone, is all. Maybe
 
 "Perhaps, but that does not mean it does not have its own utility."
 
-They ate in silence for a moment, then, Ioan eventually giving up after finishing eir plate. It was no less easy to eat too much, even in an embedded world.
+They ate in silence for a moment, Ioan eventually giving up after finishing eir plate. It was no less easy to eat too much, even in an embedded world.
 
 "Are you okay with it?"