update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/010.md

@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ Jonas lifted his hands, palms up. "Hey, it's okay. I'm just here to talk. Mr. Qi
 
 "'My skunks'?" All of the stress of the last forty-five minutes that ey'd been holding back around May, all that had been obscured by eir need to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible, all of it came crashing down on em at once. "*'My skunks'?*" ey shouted. "Jonas, what the fuck? You sent a fucking assassin after True Name, sent him over to our house so he could hound May. What the hell are you even talking about? Of course I'm going to keep my fucking partner and friend safe if you're going to try killing them! Fucking...*'my skunks'*. Good Lord."
 
-Once ey'd finished and was left panting again, Jonas sat up in the chair and grinned widely, clapping his hands. "Mx. Ioan Bălan, such language! I didn't know you had it in you! Bravo."
+Once ey'd finished and was left panting, Jonas sat up in the chair and grinned widely, clapping his hands. "Mx. Ioan Bălan, such language! I didn't know you had it in you! Bravo."
 
 "Fuck you too."
 
@@ -78,7 +78,7 @@ He shrugged. "You don't have to, but I am telling the truth, Ioan. If you and Tr
 
 "That's pretty dramatic."
 
-"I don't have the training your pretty little skunks have," he shot back. "Just try and get everyone together and we can get this over with. There's no huge rush. Sometime within the year, okay?"
+"I don't have the training your pretty little skunks have," he shot back. There was something vaguely feverish about him, running a little too hot. "Just try and get everyone together and we can get this over with. There's no huge rush. Sometime within the year, okay?"
 
 "Why?" Ey shook eir head. "Why do you need to talk with her and why do you need an amanuensis? You have to give me something, here."
 
@@ -138,7 +138,7 @@ Ey blanched. "From Jonas?"
 
 "Very creepy," ey muttered. All of their talks, all of their discussions and jokes and arguments, all of their pleasant silences and moments of intimacy, all being watched. "What a nightmare."
 
-She nodded. "I am sorry, my dear. If it is of any consolation, I assure you that we really are quite boring. We have only had a few conversations of note over the last twenty-seven years, and the rest must have been excruciating to sit through."
+She nodded. "I am sorry, my dear. If it is of any consolation, they may not have been there the entire time, and I assure you that we really are quite boring. We have only had a few conversations of note over the last twenty-seven years, and the rest must have been excruciating to sit through."
 
 "Or incredibly awkward."
 
@@ -166,7 +166,7 @@ Watching nervously, Ioan fiddled with the hem of eir vest. So much had happened
 
 The skunk gave up on maintaining her expression and hid her face in her paws, nodding. "Thank you," she croaked.
 
-Once she'd washed her face and calmed down enough to speak, the three of them set to work deciding what the next steps were. May suggested they stay at the lake for the night, explaining that they'd need time to sort out a living situation for True Name and that she wanted to go over their place with a fine-toothed comb before spending the night there again, anyway. After hearing about Jonas, she was quick to agree. 
+Once she'd washed her face and calmed down enough to speak, the three of them set to work deciding what the next steps were. May suggested they stay at the lake for the night, explaining that they'd need time to sort out a living situation for True Name and that she wanted to go over their place with a fine-toothed comb before spending the night there again, anyway. 
 
 True Name merely nodded. "Is there a place here that I can stay?" she asked.
 
@@ -188,7 +188,7 @@ May nodded in turn. After a moment's silence, she turned to Ioan and said, "My d
 
 "Please." She sighed. "I do not think I have the wherewithal to do so, myself. I do not want to go and cry in front of someone else. I do not want to feel like I am begging, even if help comes willingly."
 
-Ey hesitated, nodded, and sent End Waking a sensorium ping, requesting a meeting, which was quickly acknowledged. "Alright," ey said, forking off a new instance. "Back in a few."
+Ey hesitated, nodded, and sent End Waking a sensorium ping requesting a meeting, which was quickly acknowledged. "Alright," ey said, forking off a new instance. "Back in a few."
 
 End Waking and Debarre were waiting for em at the new entry point to his sim.
 
@@ -220,7 +220,7 @@ He paused in the act of bending down to lift one of the cot-and-bedroll combos.
 
 "And two tents."
 
-Apparently unable to hold back anymore, Debarre spoke up. "Ioan, I'm going to go crazy if you don't give me at least something, here."
+Apparently unable to hold back any longer, Debarre spoke up. "Ioan, I'm gonna go crazy if you don't give me at least something, here."
 
 "As am I," End Waking said.
 
@@ -260,6 +260,6 @@ When the skunk had left, ey quit and merged back down to eir root instance.
 
 Both skunks shook their heads.
 
-"Alright," ey said. Ey wasn't hungry either, ey realized. The tail end of eir anxiety just had em jittery, wanting to keep moving. Once ey set that aside, ey realized just how exhausted ey was.
+"Alright," ey said. Ey wasn't either, ey realized. The tail end of eir anxiety just had em jittery, wanting to keep moving. Once ey set that aside, ey realized just how exhausted ey was.
 
 They sat in quiet well into the evening, instead, each of them trying to digest the day in their own way.