update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/marsh/001.md

@@ -18,9 +18,9 @@ And there we were, Reed and Hanne, arm in arm, strolling leisurely down the stre
 
 "Oh, very comfortable. Cushy, even," I said, poking her gently in the belly.
 
-Hanne laughed. "Cute. How about the exterior?"
+Hanne laughed, covering her stomach with her hand. "Cute. How about the exterior?"
 
-"No clue. It's been a long, long time since I've had any reason to pay attention to the world outside. I imagine it looks just as confusing as it anyways has."
+"No clue. It's been a long, long time since I've had any reason to pay attention to the world outside. I imagine it looks just as confusing as it always has."
 
 "Well, okay, fair enough. You've been here longer than I have."
 
@@ -62,7 +62,7 @@ We walked in silence for a few minutes. I tallied the occupants of the various r
 
 Hanne nodded. "What was Earth like? What was your life like?"
 
-I shrugged. "Fine, I guess. The Western Fed was swinging conservative again, it was hot as hell all the time, most places were starting to subsidize uploading despite an already declining population. I guess that makes it sound terrible, and maybe it would have gotten worse, but I wasn't around to see it. We were doing alright, so maybe I was kind of sheltered."
+I shrugged. "Fine, I guess. The Western Fed was swinging conservative again, it was hot as hell all the time, some places were arguing about upload subsidies leading to a rising birthratesome. I guess that makes it sound terrible, and maybe it would have gotten worse, but I wasn't around to see it. We were doing alright, so maybe I was kind of sheltered."
 
 "I hear you on the hot as hell part. We couldn't afford moving south when it got too bad, so we moved up into the mountains. It helped a little bit, at least."
 
@@ -70,7 +70,7 @@ I shrugged. "Fine, I guess. The Western Fed was swinging conservative again, it
 
 "2320 something. I don't remember. I think I was under ten, at least."
 
-I nodded. "I guess that's what I mean by sheltered. We were already up in Newfoundland. Summers sucked, winters sucked, but it was alright between them. It was worse when we lived in New York."
+I nodded. "I guess that's what I mean by sheltered. We were already up in Newfoundland. Summers sucked, winters sucked, but it was alright between them. It was worse when I lived in New York."
 
 "Autumn or spring?"
 
@@ -102,7 +102,7 @@ I laughed. "So many questions tonight."
 
 She grinned, shrugged.
 
-"Well, I think half of it was that there was just too much pressure at the time. Like I said, the WF was swinging conservative, so there was this push to assimilate, and we internalized that pretty hard. We felt pushed to just shut up and be a man, just disappear, and always felt that we fell short despite all we did to try, but on Lagrange, we could do that right off the bat."
+"Well, I think half of it was that there was just too much pressure at the time. Like I said, the WF was swinging conservative, so there was this push to assimilate, and we internalized that pretty hard. We felt pushed to just shut up and be a man, just disappear — that or become a woman, have kids, let the first upload for the payout — and always felt that we fell short despite all we did to try, but on Lagrange, we could do that right off the bat."
 
 "So they went back to being trans--"
 
@@ -118,7 +118,7 @@ The shadow of her shoulders relaxed again in the dark of the night. "Even after
 
 "Is that why you forked, too?"
 
-I grinned. "I forked for fun. Even if it's still a tender spot, I think I'm still way more relaxed than they are. There may be a bit of that in Tule, I guess. He's still pretty happy being a guy --- he's the only one out of all of us, come to think of it. Rush is as ve is of vis own choice, though."
+I grinned. "I forked for fun. Even if it's still a tender spot, I think I'm still way more relaxed than Marsh is, though it's been a while since we talked. There may be a bit of that in Tule, I guess. He's still pretty happy being a guy --- he's the only one out of all of us, come to think of it. Rush is as ve is of vis own choice, though."
 
 Hanne looped her arm through mine. "Well, I still like you as you are."
 
@@ -150,3 +150,5 @@ She shrugged. "Sure. But either way, they were somewhere in the middle, maybe. T
 
 I laughed. "Got it in one."
 
+<!---->
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writing/post-self/marsh/002.md

@@ -66,7 +66,7 @@ She laughed.
 
 "Why not?"
 
-I yawned, slouched down further on the couch along with Hanne. "They very specifically want us to live our own lives. They don't want us to just be other versions of them. They can make all of those they want for their little tasks. They specifically want us to be something other than what they are so that they can experience that on their own terms."
+I yawned, slouched down further on the couch along with her. "They very specifically want us to live our own lives. They don't want us to just be other versions of them. They can make all of those they want for their little tasks. They specifically want us to be something other than what they are so that they can experience that on their own terms."
 
 "Don't see how that's any different," she mumbled. Sleep threatened, even with some time left before midnight. "You all merging down like that is just doing the same thing in reverse, You're making them a version of you all, even if you're not just a version of them."
 
@@ -80,7 +80,7 @@ She grumbled and rubbed at her face. "Sorry if that came off as rude. I guess it
 
 I scooted up onto the couch, myself, sitting cross-legged to face her. "It's okay. It's not wrong, even, I just don't think it's wholly right, either. It's a matter of intent. Our intent is to live our own lives to the fullest, and it's their intent to let us do so and yet still be able to experience that at one layer of remove. We've been doing it for a century, and it's worked out well enough since then. If all this–" I waved around the room, feeling the gentle spin of drunkenness follow the movement, "–is just a dream, if we're all doing our best to dream in unison with each other, then I think intent may be all that we have, right? However may billion or trillion people have uploaded are all trying to dream the same dream together, all mixed up and poured into the same System, we have to form what meanings we may on our own."
 
-"I think we broke two trillion instances a while back. I don't know how may uploads, but I don't think it's hit a trillion yet."
+"I think we broke two trillion instances a while back. I don't know how may uploads, but I don't think it's hit a trillion yet. Probably only forty billion or so."
 
 "Right. Sorry, guess I'm kinda rambly when I'm drunk."
 
@@ -94,7 +94,7 @@ Hanne laughed and shook her head, standing from the couch to go get herself a gl
 
 With a rush of intent, I forked, bringing into being beside me a new instance of myself. Exactly the same. *Precisely*. Had such a thing any meaning to an upload, we would be the same down to the atomic level, to the subatomic. All of the memories, all of the personality, all of the history.
 
-For a fraction of a second, at least. From that point on, we began to diverge, each remembering things differently. The Reed that still sat on the couch heard Hanne in the kitchen from *this* angle, yet the one that stood beside the couch heard her from that. The one that sat on the couch felt the fire on his cheek, the one standing felt it on his back.I forked — a new instance of me without these demanding memories, one who would not have the shared memories of my up-tree cocladists — and watched him wander off to the bedroom to presumably stay out of the way while I processed.
+For a fraction of a second, at least. From that point on, we began to diverge, each remembering things differently. The Reed that still sat on the couch heard Hanne in the kitchen from *this* angle, yet the one that stood beside the couch heard her from that. The one that sat on the couch felt the fire on his cheek, the one standing felt it on his back. I watched this other Reed — a new instance of me without these demanding memories, one who would not have the shared memories of my up-tree cocladists — wander off to the bedroom to presumably stay out of the way while I processed.
 
 I closed my eyes to turn down one of my senses, setting the sweet-smelling glass of brandy aside to rid myself of another as best I could. I sat and spent a moment processing, savoring the memories. Rush had merged down first; ve had split off a new copy of verself, and then the original had quit. On doing so, all the memories ve'd formed over the last year fell down onto me, ready to be remembered like some forgotten word on the tip of my tongue: all I needed to do is actually remember. Clearly, Tule had already forked and merged back down into Sedge, as their combined memories piled yet more weight on me. Three sets of memories — two from my direct up-tree instances and one from a second-degree up-tree instance — rested on my mind, ready for integration.