update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/toledot/index.md

@@ -83,7 +83,7 @@ Nearing the 200th anniversary of System secession from humanity, the System and
     * [X] [Secession: phys-side; Yared](secession/phys/Yared/005) - discusses secession with True Name/Jonas despite the fact that he isn't supposed to, gets help drafting the post with suggested changes from Demma - 2852
     * [X] [Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Castor](launch/launch/Codrin-castor/004) - Distracted, interviews depressed astronomer who knows this is as close as he'll ever get, but studies all the same through text, learn more about Dreamer Module (phys-side idea that got past resistance sys-side, implied Jonas/True Name) - 3680
     * [X] [Launch: phys-side: Douglas](launch/phys/Douglas/006) - Talks with May about launch-era political machinations from phys-side - 2140
-    * [O] [Secession: sys-side: True Name](secession/sys/True-Name/003) - Starts to think of phys/sys dichotomy in political terms, forks on the sly (only Jonas knows), so that forks can handle both, leaving her as figurehead who appears to know all - 2765
+    * [X] [Secession: sys-side: True Name](secession/sys/True-Name/003) - Starts to think of phys/sys dichotomy in political terms, forks on the sly (only Jonas knows), so that forks can handle both, leaving her as figurehead who appears to know all - 2765
     * [O] [Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Pollux](launch/launch/Codrin-pollux/004) - talks with Dear about secession and the mood before and after in general, but also w/in clade, Dear hints that Praiseworthy started shaping the history even before secession and the art of propaganda - 2265
     * [O] [Launch: sys-side: Ioan](launch/sys/Ioan/006) - Ioan and May share growing concerns from LV messages - 2034 (probably needs work)
     * [O] [Secession: phys-side: Yared](secession/phys/Yared/006) - Demma is a bit grumpy that Yared talked to sys-side, but mostly pleased that they seem to be on board with it; presses Yared for more information, hints at distates for System; told to ignore latest update, team will get him a new one. - 2939

writing/post-self/toledot/launch/launch/Codrin-pollux/004.md

@@ -10,19 +10,19 @@ Eventually, Dear's partner had knocked on the door to eir glass-walled office, a
 
 "Wild?"
 
-"Yeah. You know, crazy experiences, or maybe they're really busy, or kind of raucous. Some sort of theme. Anything like that."
+"Yeah. You know, crazy experiences, or maybe they're really busy or raucous. Some sort of theme. Anything like that."
 
 Codrin had searched through eir memory, then shrugged. "Does a back-alley food court work?"
 
-They laughed. "How in the world to 'back-alley' and 'food court' work together?"
+They laughed. "How in the world do 'back-alley' and 'food court' work together?"
 
 "I have no idea. You walk down this street, and there's just this awning sticking out over a narrow alley. Smells like hell, but when you get through it, there's this courtyard, and all of the walls are various stalls of different food. Most of it's dumplings and buns and stuff like that, but I found it because there's a place there that serves, of all things, really good tacos."
 
 "Sounds about right. Come on."
 
-They had walked back around the patio and into the main house and Dear's partner surveyed the scene, of various foxes in various states of activity or various moods, then walked up to one scribbling on a notepad at its desk, grabbed a fistful of fur and loose skin at the name of its neck in their hand, lifted the fox to its feet, and shook it gently. All of the forks that had been littering the house quit in an instant.
+They had walked back around the patio and into the main house and Dear's partner surveyed the scene of various foxes in various states of activity or various moods, then walked up to one scribbling on a notepad at its desk, grabbed a fistful of fur and loose skin at the nape of its neck in their hand, lifted the fox to its feet, and shook it gently. All of the forks that had been littering the house quit in an instant.
 
-*"Oh, is it dinner time?"* It had looked bedraggled, limp, unsteady, and a glint of some intensity hid in its eyes that Codrin had never seen before.
+*"Oh, is it dinner time?"* It had looked bedraggled, limp, unsteady, and a glint of some intensity that Codrin had never seen before hid in its eyes.
 
 "Yeah. Come on. Codrin knows a place."
 

writing/post-self/toledot/secession/sys/True-Name/003.md

@@ -34,13 +34,13 @@ Were they perhaps some core difference in ideals? Obviously, given the cost of u
 
 She couldn't decide, but there was the logical fallout of that situation, that the two should be treated on a fundamentally different level, when it came to politics.
 
-There was the slight twinge of a sensory alarm, and she knew that it was time for the meeting with Jonas.
+There was a slight twinge of a sensory alarm, and she knew that it was time for the meeting with Jonas.
 
 He had chosen a war-gaming room for the meeting. There in the middle of the room was a backlit map of Earth at least five meters long, and scattered across its surface were dozens of chess pieces --- knights, pawns, queens --- which had been pushed this way and that by long sticks that still rested along the edges of the table.
 
 A smile quirked at the corner of her mouth. *How very like him.*
 
-Jonas was sitting at the other end of the table, eating small hors d'oeuvres from a paper plate, cocktail weenies spiked with toothpicks and finger sandwiches.
+Jonas was sitting at the other end of the table, eating small hors d'oeuvres from a paper plate. Cocktail weenies spiked with toothpicks and finger sandwiches.
 
 As soon as he noticed True Name standing at the edge of the light that lit the table, he grinned and gestured with his plate toward the hot-and-cold buffet lining one of the walls.
 
@@ -62,13 +62,13 @@ Once it was clear that she had reached a pause, Jonas spoke up. "Tell me about y
 
 "I was thinking about the difference in politics phys-side and sys-side."
 
-He sat up straighter, waiting for her to continue.
+He sat up straighter, nodding for her to continue.
 
 "I think that it is a matter of aspirations. We who have uploaded have different goals in life than those who remain behind. Perhaps it is worth approaching them in different ways.
 
-"Hmm, that's true." He looked thoughtful. "We've already been doing that, to an extent."
+"That's true." He looked thoughtful. "We've already been doing that, to an extent."
 
-"Yes, but perhaps it is time to do so intentionally. If the goal of politics is to steer groups of individuals, then perhaps it is time to figure out the different ways in which to steer them. The motivations of those on the System are highly independent, surrounding whatever brings them the most freedom to accomplish what it is that they want. Them in particular, rather than large groups, though smaller groups may have goals that are aligned as well."
+"Yes, but out of instinct. Perhaps it is time to do so intentionally. If the goal of politics is to steer groups of individuals, then perhaps it is time to figure out the different ways in which to steer them. The motivations of those on the System are highly independent, surrounding whatever brings them the most freedom to accomplish what it is that they want. Them in particular, rather than large groups, though smaller groups may have goals that are aligned as well."
 
 Jonas frowned down to his remaining weenies, then set the plate aside. "And phys-side?"
 
@@ -102,7 +102,7 @@ He shrugged.
 
 "Well, alright. I will put on some monologues I remember from phys-side."
 
-"Alright. Let me know when you do, and I'll upvote them, too. It's not like there's no reason to, we talk often enough as council-members."
+"Alright. Let me know when you do, and I'll upvote them, too. It's not like there's no reason to, we talk often enough as council-members and the market doesn't care who upvotes."
 
 True Name laughed. After a moment's concentration, two additional versions of her appeared behind her chair, waved to Jonas, and stepped out of the sim. "I had just enough for two, and I figure two ought to be enough for now."
 
@@ -116,9 +116,9 @@ After they had both finished their plates of appetizers and enjoyed a moment of
 
 "We have Yared in NEAC," True Name said, pushing a pawn over to Addis Ababa. "And you said you know some in the Western Fed, yes?"
 
-Jonas nodded, pushing two queens, two pawns, and a knight over the chessboard. The knight in the British aisles, "A judge. He's easily bribed. We can't do it ourselves, of course, but we can find those who will. He'll be useful for influencing some legislation whenever cases regarding uploads come up."
+Jonas nodded, pushing two queens, two pawns, and a bishop over the chessboard. The bishop in the British aisles: "A judge. He's easily bribed. We can't do it ourselves, of course, but we can find those who will. He'll be useful for influencing some legislation whenever cases regarding uploads come up."
 
-One of the queens wound up in Germany, the other on the east coast of North America. "Two representatives. Both were good friends. Both too sly for their own good. I'm surprised they haven't gotten flushed out, yet, but we can keep using them until they do. I think they'll be useful in pushing for the legislation --- both the core bill, and the launch amendment."
+One of the queens wound up in Germany, the other on the east coast of North America: "Two representatives. Both were good friends. Both too sly for their own good. I'm surprised they haven't gotten flushed out, yet, but we can keep using them until they do. I think they'll be useful in pushing for the legislation --- both the core bill, and the launch amendment."
 
 "How about the secession amendment?" True Name asked.
 
@@ -126,7 +126,7 @@ One of the queens wound up in Germany, the other on the east coast of North Amer
 
 "I think there will be."
 
-Jonas gave her a strange look, but instead of replying, pushed one pawn to the toe of Italy's boot and the other to the northern end of the central corridor. "Two other friends. DDR junkies, mostly, but very loud ones. This one--" he said, tapping at the one on the central corridor. "--is reactionary and easy to influence, if you feed him the right information, and this one--" He tapped the one on Italy. "--is one of those calm-voice-of-reason types. He would be hard to influence, but it sounds like he's already mostly in agreement with our dear Yared."
+Jonas gave her a strange look, but instead of replying, pushed one pawn to the toe of Italy's boot and the other to the northern end of the central corridor: "Two other friends. DDR junkies, mostly, but very loud ones. This one--" he said, tapping at the one on the central corridor. "--is reactionary and easy to influence, if you feed him the right information, and this one--" He tapped the one on Italy. "--is one of those calm-voice-of-reason types. He would be harder to influence, but it sounds like he's already mostly in agreement with our dear Yared."
 
 True Name noticed the lack of names for each of the figures, but said nothing. *It is probably for the best. Leaves me some plausible deniability, and keeps me from interacting with his pawns.*
 
@@ -140,7 +140,7 @@ Jonas shrugged. "The council, of course, plus the owners of some higher-profile
 
 He kept throwing her all these little comments that seemed to tempt her to respond emotionally. Was he testing her? Was he watching to see just how much power he had over her?
 
-Not the best tactic for someone who taught theatre to high-schoolers.
+Not the best tactic for someone who taught theatre to teenagers.
 
 "I think we've got the council mostly locked down when it comes to the idea of independence," she said, setting down her stick.
 
@@ -168,7 +168,7 @@ She waved the question away. "I will work it out. For now, do you have any more
 
 He shook his head. "Same little blips from some of the crazier people. More of them, perhaps, but it hasn't bubbled up too far. There's a bit more chatter about the legal status of the System independent of other nations, but the S-word hasn't come up yet. You heard any here sys-side?"
 
-"Not except between us," she lied.
+"Not except between us," she lied again.
 
 Jonas needn't know all of her plans, nor that the propaganda work had already begun. Nor, for that matter, that she was still in contact with Dr. Carter Ramirez, phys-side, who still had reputation of her own, her own knight in the British Isles. After all, if he was going to continue to maintain some of his leverage of the situation, oughtn't she do the same?