update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/local/tycho/016.md

@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@
 
 Those gathered laughed.
 
-They'd claimed a portion of the plaza for his last dinner, setting up a long table not too dissimilar from that which they'd sat at for the conference. He had sat at one end, and at the other True Name sat, smiling and watching him rise for his speech. To his right sat Codrin and eir two partners, both of whom had spent much of the evening conversing with each other and the few scientists who sat to his left and the Artemisians beyond. He'd not missed the fact that they seemed to be ignoring the other three Odists as best they could other than to accept praise for the food they'd cooked for the occasion.
+They'd claimed a portion of the plaza for his last dinner, setting up a long table not too dissimilar from that which they'd sat at for the conference. He stood at one end, and at the other True Name sat, smiling and watching him rise for his speech. To his right sat Codrin and eir two partners, both of whom had spent much of the evening conversing with each other and the few scientists who sat to his left and the Artemisians beyond. He'd not missed the fact that they seemed to be ignoring the other three Odists as best they could other than to accept praise for the food they'd cooked for the occasion.
 
 Those scientists included Dr. Verda and several of his other colleagues who had served as on-duty astronomer for Castor throughout the long years.
 
@@ -28,9 +28,9 @@ The thirdracer chattered their teeth, looking pleased.
 
 The skunk raised her glass to him.
 
-"When we first heard from the Artemisians, True Name met me at my sim and quoted a snippet of poetry by Sarah Williams: reach me down my Tycho Brahe,---I would know him when we meet, When I share my later science, sitting humbly at his feet; He may know the law of all things, yet be ignorant of how We are working to completion, working on from then till now.
+"When we first heard from the Artemisians, True Name met me at my sim and quoted a snippet of poetry by Sarah Williams: Reach me down my Tycho Brahe,---I would know him when we meet, When I share my later science, sitting humbly at his feet; He may know the law of all things, yet be ignorant of how We are working to completion, working on from then till now.
 
-"See, Tycho Brahe is a name I picked for myself twenty years ago when Codrin interviewed me for the *History*. Brahe was an astronomer born eight hundred years ago this year. A lot of his science was bunk, but that's what the poem says, isn't it? He may know the law of all things, but we're the ones with the later science.
+"See, Tycho Brahe is a name I picked for myself twenty years ago when Codrin interviewed me for the *History*. Brahe was an astronomer born eight centuries ago this year. A lot of his science was bunk, but that's what the poem says, isn't it? He may know the law of all things, but we're the ones with the later science.
 
 "That stanza was quoted to me as a way of suggesting that we will learn from the later science of the Artemisians, and perhaps we'll have something to teach them as well, but also, as True Name noted, it's a poem about death, telling the final words of an astronomer to his pupil."
 
@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@ The mood had settled into somber, present, and while most eyes were dry, he coul
 
 There were some smiles around the table, but no laughter. All were focused entirely on him, and he had to force down a wave of embarrassment at his speech.
 
-"I only have one more snippet of poetry to leave you with, and it will be my goodbye. It was the last thing I said on Earth, it'll be the last thing I say on Castor, and trust me when I say that those words made me dizzy the first time I thought of them. 'Last thing I say on Castor'. I'll cease being here. I'll cease being among a place that is all --- or, now, a majority --- my own species. I'll cease being on anything made around our own dear Sun.
+"I only have one more snippet of poetry to leave you with, something engraved on the astronomy building on campus, back phys-side. It will be my goodbye. It was the last thing I said on Earth, it'll be the last thing I say on Castor, and trust me when I say that those words made me dizzy the first time I thought of them. 'Last thing I say on Castor'. I'll cease being here. I'll cease being among a place that is all --- or, now, a majority --- my own species. I'll cease being on anything made around our own dear Sun.
 
 "I could draw out such a goodbye, but I won't. Not more than I already have. You'll have your memories, won't you?"