update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/014.md

@@ -4,13 +4,13 @@ The next few days after Ioan's visit and brief explanation about what had happen
 
 There was a sense in the air that the skunk wanted to ask him to leave again, to fall back into solitude and, though he'd never use the word around him, moping. He'd still talk, still hold up his end of the conversations, but always there would be a slight pause before speaking, always a bit more distance than usual, always something out in the forest that called to him just that much more strongly than the weasel before him.
 
-It was never comfortable to be asked to leave one's partner. He knew the reasons, could understand the drive, but to build a relationship up over however many decades it was now, and yet still need to put it on hold for months or, on one occasion, years at a time.
+It was never comfortable to be asked to leave one's partner. He knew the reasons, could understand the drive, but to build a relationship up over however many decades it was now, and yet still need to put it on hold for months or, on one occasion, years at a time still hurt.
 
 He knew he had a temper, too. He'd spent the last centuries going all the way back to Cicero's death working on setting that aside when he could feel it getting to be too hot within him. He always worked his hardest at that around End Waking. He loved the skunk, wanted nothing but the best for him, and although he knew that End Waking was one of the more resilient of the Odists, he had also known Michelle far longer than...well, just about anyone possibly could, now. Two and a half centuries was a long time to understand just how the other person processes pain and trauma, and he didn't want to add to any of the Odists' burden, having spent so long with them from the beginning. From before the beginning, in some senses.
 
 Well, except perhaps True Name.
 
-There were few enough people he hated in the world, though certainly a great many who grated on his nerves. True Name and her ilk, though, were universally among that number. He knew he could never hurt anyone, but he had his fantasies. He knew he should never wish harm befall anyone, but some people...
+There were few enough people he hated in the world, though certainly a great many who grated on his nerves. True Name and her ilk, though, were universally among that number. He knew he could never hurt anyone, but, well, everyone had their fantasies. He knew he should never wish harm befall anyone, but some people...
 
 This latest development was putting this to the test.
 
@@ -18,9 +18,9 @@ He'd continue work on the cabin while End Waking went for his walks --- they'd g
 
 Part of him wondered if End Waking was going through the same. He wanted to ask, but didn't want to risk that pushing the skunk over into requesting that he leave with the tent not yet complete.
 
-So, Debarre just kept working, kept fantasizing. He'd gotten the last of the canvas lashed down over the sides of the frame and was working on the front wall of the tent. At least there was productivity to lean on, even if he couldn't lean on his partner at the moment.
+So, Debarre just kept working, kept fantasizing. He'd gotten the last of the canvas lashed down over the sides of the frame and was on to working on the front wall of the tent. At least there was productivity to lean on, even if he couldn't lean on his partner at the moment.
 
-He jumped, startled out of work and reverie, when two sensorium pings in short order. The first came from End Waking, the word 'company' muttered quietly, and the second was a ping of arrival from the sim itself.
+He jumped, startled out of work and reverie, with two sensorium pings in short order. The first came from End Waking, the word 'company' muttered quietly, and the second was a ping of arrival from the sim itself.
 
 With the new tent, End Waking had made the default entry point around a small rise from home, leaving it a short walk around or a shorter but much steeper dash up and over the ridge.
 
@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ Her cry must have been nearing its end before she arrived, as she'd settled down
 
 She nodded and accepted the mug with both paws to hold it steady, taking a few unsteady laps of the water before simply clutching it to her chest. "Thank you," she croaked, freeing up a paw to accept the damp rag to wipe her face. "I am sorry for so dramatic an entrance."
 
-"You are fine, May Then My Name," her cocladist said. "Everything sounded quite dramatic. Please take your time, and we can discuss it later."
+"Hush. You are fine, May Then My Name," her cocladist said. "Everything sounded quite dramatic. Please take your time, and we can discuss it later."
 
 She nodded, slouched a little further against Debarre, and sighed shakily.
 
@@ -46,7 +46,7 @@ He shot a quizzical look over to End Waking, who sent a brief sensorium ping in
 
 They sat like that for another five minutes or so, another few bouts of tears hitting the skunk while he tried to be as steady as he could for her, petting over her ears and murmuring reassurances. She'd leaned on AwDae more often than she had on him, all those years ago, but a friend's shoulder was a friend's shoulder, and he'd always offered when he could. This was, he supposed, no different.
 
-When she was finally able to pull herself together enough to walk, Debarre helped her to stand and the three of them made their way back to the tent. He sat her down on one of the two fallen tree trunks that had been set before the tent to either side of the fire pit, then took her mug to refill it while End Waking started a small fire in the pit. It wasn't that cold out, but warmth was warmth, comfort was comfort.
+When she was finally able to pull herself together enough to walk, Debarre helped her to stand and the three of them made their way back to the tent. He sat her down on one of the two fallen tree trunks that had been set before the tent to either side of the fire pit, then took her mug to refill it while End Waking started a small fire. It wasn't that cold out, but warmth was warmth, comfort was comfort.
 
 With the cup safely back in her paws, Debarre sat beside May Then My Name once more, arm around her shoulder. "Feel up to talking about it?"
 
@@ -76,7 +76,7 @@ The other skunk went silent, holding her gaze for a long moment before getting b
 
 "I'm guessing it's the non-logistical side of things that's complicated," Debarre said.
 
-"Yes. After everything, I do not know why it is that I care about her." She sniffled and scrubbed her face with the rag as though to preemptively snap herself out of an oncoming wave of emotion. "It has not been all that bad, really. Awkward, yes, but she spends most of her time in her room except at breakfast and dinner. Today, though, she requested to talk with me, and...I cannot even begin to comprehend the specifics, but Jonas ha-has...has been..."
+"Yes. After everything, I do not know why it is that I care about her." She sniffled and scrubbed her face with the rag as though to preemptively snap herself out of an oncoming wave of emotion. "It has not been all that bad, really. Awkward, yes, but she spends most of her time in her room except at breakfast and dinner. Today, though, she requested to talk with me, and...I cannot even begin to comprehend the specifics, but Jonas has...ha-has been..."
 
 Debarre rubbed at May Then My Name's back when that wave of emotion finally washed over her.
 
@@ -150,7 +150,7 @@ She nodded gratefully. "Ey does not, no. I am just sorry that I was too heated t
 
 Dinner, it turned out, was not long in coming. Well-seasoned deer and griddle cakes cooked in in the grease. "I have made them with too much salt just for you, May Then My Name," he said with a polite bow.
 
-She stuck her tongue out at him. "Much appreciated, my dear. It tastes almost like normal food."
+She stuck her tongue out at him. "Much appreciated. It tastes almost like normal food."
 
 He made a rude gesture at her, but grinned all the same.
 
@@ -168,7 +168,7 @@ The skunk sat up straighter. "So you hinted, yes. Why, though? Why would you wan
 
 "E.W.," Debarre murmured. "Cool it."
 
-He tugged his hood down lower over his head and stayed silent for several minutes. "I am sorry, my dear. I did not mean to yell. It is just that I worked hard at getting where I am now, and if she is to feel any --- *any* --- remorse about what she has done with her life, I would like for her to come by it honestly, and if she does not, then I would like her to face the consequences of her actions."
+He tugged his hood down lower over his head and stayed silent for several minutes. "I am sorry, May Then My Name. I did not mean to yell. It is just that I worked hard at getting where I am now, and if she is to feel any --- *any* --- remorse about what she has done with her life, I would like for her to come by it honestly, and if she does not, then I would like her to face the consequences of her actions."
 
 "I do at least understand that," May Then My Name murmured. She had shied away from her cocladist at the force of his words, but the apology and explanation drew her back. "You do not need to answer now, or ever for that matter, but is it something you would at least consider?"
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/015.md

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 -----
 
-Having sent May Then My Name home with a few extra griddle cakes and run out of daylight, Debarre and End Waking gave up on any additional work for the day. The tent was livable, if incomplete, and a bit of a break felt nice, anyway. They sat beside each other before the fire and watched the flames, not speaking, simply enjoying the warmth and each others' company.
+Having sent May Then My Name home with a few extra griddle cakes and then run out of daylight, Debarre and End Waking gave up on any additional work for the day. The tent was livable, if incomplete, and a bit of a break felt nice, anyway. They sat beside each other before the fire and watched the flames, not speaking, simply enjoying the warmth and each others' company.
 
 At least, Debarre enjoyed the warmth and the feeling of his boyfriend beside him. He couldn't tell what End Waking was thinking or feeling. He'd not said a word since wishing his cocladist goodbye and good luck.
 
@@ -12,7 +12,7 @@ He nodded. Silence fell again. End Waking put another log on the fire.
 
 "I know that I am a less-than-ideal partner, Debarre. I *do* love you, I promise."
 
-*Here it comes.* "Love you too, E.W. Want some space after we're done with the camp."
+*Here it comes.* "Love you too, E.W. Want some space after we're done with the camp?"
 
 "Please," the skunk said after a long pause. "I do not like sending you away, but so much has happened this last week, these last few months..."
 
@@ -20,13 +20,13 @@ He scooted closer to End Waking and slipped an arm around his waist. It was prob
 
 "What do you suppose they are doing on Artemis?" End Waking asked, staring at the fire rather than up to the stars.
 
-"Hmm? My guess is that everyone's getting settled in by now. All those who went along with have probably dug homes or whatever they call it in the fifthrace area, and some are probably getting pretty good at...uh, Nanon, was it?"
+"Hmm? My guess is that everyone's getting settled in by now. All those who went along with have probably dug homes or whatever they call it in the fifthrace area, and some are probably getting pretty good at...uh, *Nanon*, was it?"
 
 "Did Debarre#Castor go with?"
 
 "No, actually. He still hasn't told me why, either. He's at least spent quite a bit of time in Convergence. Lots of visiting with Codrin and Dear. Have you heard from them?"
 
-"Only when Dear writes clade-wide. It and I were never as close as we could have been, perhaps. It sounds happy, at least, and passes on good stories."
+"Only when Dear writes clade-wide. It and I were never as close as we could have been. It sounds happy, at least, and passes on good stories."
 
 He laughed. "I can't imagine anything but, honestly. Any news of the others?"
 
@@ -52,9 +52,9 @@ There was a long silence from End Waking, then. Debarre imagined him trudging th
 
 "She remains herself," he said at last. "I mean truly herself, not the bent and twisted True Name of Lagrange. Competent, confident, in complete control. She strives behind the scenes in both Convergence and the rest of Castor as she always has."
 
-"'Bent and twisted'? I mean, she sounds like she's having a rough time of late."
+"'Bent and twisted'? I mean, she sounds like she's having a rough time of late, but that bad?"
 
-"This is also subtext, my dear. The True Name of Lagrange no longer writes the same way as the True Name of the LVs. True Name#Castor is as True Name was back before Launch, and True Name#Pollux has settled down with this Zacharias and sits on the Guiding Council, whatever that is. The one here is..." He frowned, visibly hunting for words. "She is no longer what she was. She is middle-management. She is overworked and underappreciated. She continues on with her plans, to which I assume she still clings tight, but that comes with a sense of desperation that I cannot otherwise place. She is bent and twisted nearly to the point of fatigue, as when one bends a paperclip until it snaps."
+"This is also subtext, my dear. The True Name of Lagrange no longer writes the same way as the True Name of the LVs. True Name#Castor is as True Name was back before Launch, and True Name#Pollux has settled down with Zacharias and sits on the Guiding Council, whatever that is. The one here is..." He frowned, visibly hunting for words. "She is no longer what she was. She is middle-management. She is overworked and underappreciated. She continues on with her plans, to which I assume she still clings tight, but that comes with a sense of desperation that I cannot otherwise place. She is bent and twisted nearly to the point of fatigue, as when one bends a paperclip until it snaps."
 
 "Is that why you think May Then My Name wants you to merge down?"
 
@@ -96,7 +96,7 @@ He held up his paws. "Then she'll have more than a century's worth of work dumpe
 
 "Do you think I should merge down?" End Waking growled.
 
-"I don't know, E.W. I really don't. Let's drop it, though, okay? I'm just gonna keep on hurting you if we keep this up, and I *really* don't want that. I'm sorry."
+"I don't know, E.W. I really don't. Let's drop it, though, okay? I'm just gonna keep on hurting you if we keep this up, and I *really* don't want that."
 
 The skunk sighed, nodded, and, after a moment, reached out and took Debarre's paw in his own. "I am sorry I got so worked up. I do need a break from the topic, though. Thank you, my love."