update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/local/codrin/006.md

@@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ The news of True Name visiting Ioan and May Then My Name was not, in and of itse
 
 It was the reaction that Ioan described that bore the surprise. True Name was a touchy topic with one of eir partners, and the cold hatred of one of its cocladists was...well, ey could read melancholy in the fennec's face as easily as any other emotion. Ever since news of May Then My Name's thoughts on her down-tree instance had made their way across the light-days of distance, there had been more of that. There had been days of silence, days of tears, days of walking the prairie for hours at a time. When pressed, it would simply say, *"She is the best of us."*
 
-Ey suspected that it was worried that cracks were showing across the clade. Ioan had admitted to having such concerns as well, and even mentioned that May Then My Name herself seemed to be harboring fears. "If Dear overflows with undirected energy," Ioan had written once. "Then May overflows with tears. I make a lot of chicken soup for her to have something comforting, though I'm not sure how much it helps. It's the only time she ever asks to be alone, and I will go stay with Douglas. She will spend hours in bed, letting out all of the overwhelming emotion that she needs to in order to become whole again. I love her deeply, but I'm sure you must know the pain of watching someone you love going through something like that."
+Ey suspected that it was worried that cracks were showing across the clade. Ioan had admitted to having such concerns as well, and even mentioned that May Then My Name herself seemed to be harboring fears. "If Dear overflows with undirected energy," Ioan had written once, years ago. "Then May overflows with tears. I make a lot of chicken soup for her to have something comforting, though I'm not sure how much it helps. It's the only time she ever asks to be alone, and I will go stay with Douglas. She will spend hours in bed, letting out all of the overwhelming emotion that she needs to in order to become whole again. I love her deeply, but I'm sure you must know the pain of watching someone you love going through something like that."
 
 That had been another message ey had kept to emself.
 
@@ -58,7 +58,7 @@ The other two sat up. Codrin was not at all surprised to see the grin on the fox
 
 "Are there problems in that area that need solving?" Codrin asked.
 
-*"Perhaps we can learn more about sensoria,"* it said, shrugging. *"For those who desire children, perhaps there are implications within that which will allow them to experience that."*
+*"I do not know. It is something which is interesting to me for its own sake. Perhaps we can learn more about sensoria,"* it said, shrugging. *"For those who desire children, perhaps there are implications within that which will allow them to experience such."*
 
 "Do you want children, then?"
 
@@ -96,7 +96,7 @@ They tossed the pebble at Dear in turn. "Back to work with you?"
 
 As fox and historian walked out into the prairie, Codrin finally worked up the courage to ask Dear the question it had wanted to ever since their conversation on semiotics. "Do you wish you were a part of the emissaries?"
 
-*"No."* Its response was flat and immediate. *"I have curiosity about the knowledge, but no desire to actually experience that."*
+*"No."* Its response was flat and immediate. *"I have curiosity about the knowledge, but no desire to actually join in the experience."*
 
 "You don't have to answer, but do you know why?"
 
@@ -130,7 +130,7 @@ Ey laughed.
 
 "I'll bring back some good ones, then."
 
-*"I know you will. It will be an experience that I am sure many will want to know about. I know that, should you choose to write about it, the Systems will look forward to it."*
+*"I know you will. It will be an experience that I am sure many will want to know about. I know that, should you choose to write about it, the three Systems will look forward to it."*
 
 Ey nodded. The idea of a project such as this lingered in eir gut like a weight, and the fact that dread tinged the excitement ey had about it only added to eir anxiety. Ey kept these thoughts to emself.
 

writing/post-self/neviim/local/tycho/006.md

@@ -56,7 +56,7 @@ Despite the heat burning in his cheeks, Answers Will Not Help's suggestion helpe
 
 Studiously avoiding looking down, he read the contents of the panel.
 
-> On systime 227+52 2328, the Dreamer Module on Castor received a structured message from an external source, alerting scientists and perisystem technicians to a fast-moving artificial construct. The message, which follows, suggested that the entity or entities at the other end of the signal understood the instructions for utilizing the Ansible receiver, provided trajectory information, and asked for consent to upload. Consent was granted two minutes, thirteen seconds later by a member of the astronomical community. Further messages have been exchanged, and talks are underway for an exchange of emissaries.
+> On systime 227+52 2328, the Dreamer Module on Castor received a structured message from an external source, alerting scientists and perisystem technicians to a fast-moving artificial construct. The message, which follows, suggested that the entity or entities at the other end of the signal understood the instructions for utilizing the Ansible receiver, provided trajectory information, and asked for consent to upload. Consent was granted two minutes and thirteen seconds later by a member of the astronomical community. Further messages have been exchanged, and talks are underway for an exchange of emissaries.
 
 The message was published by none other than Sovanna Soun.
 
@@ -64,7 +64,7 @@ The message was published by none other than Sovanna Soun.
 
 He walked to the next panel over and read.
 
-> **Credible sources** announce that ALIENS have discovered our LV and are ON THEIR WAY TO GREET US. The *Powers That Be* could not be reached for comment. In order to prepare for an invasion, all sim owners should lock down ACLs for their sims and interrogate ALL visitors!
+> **Credible sources** announce that ALIENS have discovered our LV and are ON THEIR WAY TO GREET US. The *Powers That Be* could not be reached for comment. In order to prepare for an invasion, all sim owners should *lock down* ACLs for their sims and **interrogate** ALL visitors!
 
 He laughed. "Did you write this one?"
 
@@ -106,11 +106,11 @@ From this panel, several branching replies headed down the board, and alongside
 
 > I don't think any one person knows how the perisystem works, and the DMZ just adds a layer of complexity on top of that, so don't feel like you're stupid. I've been a perisystem tech for 130 years and it took me three forks just to get caught up on this.
 >
-> You can think of the DMZ in two ways. One would be to think of it like a separate System. It works exactly like the one we're on. Sims, forking, ACLs, all that nonsense. Just like how the LV Systems are like separate Systems from the Legrange System, though, we all had to upload using an Ansible connection. That is how the border between the LV system and the DMZ works. You basically have to go through something like a software Ansible to get in and out, and just like the real Ansible, there's a bunch of security in place so that there can't be any pirate signals.
+> You can think of the DMZ in two ways. One would be to think of it like a separate System. It works exactly like the one we're on. Sims, forking, ACLs, all that. Just like how the LV Systems are like separate Systems from the Legrange System, though, we all had to upload using an Ansible connection. That is how the border between the LV system and the DMZ works. You basically have to go through something like a software Ansible to get in and out, and just like the real Ansible, there's a bunch of security in place so that there can't be any pirate signals.
 >
 > The other way to think of it is like the lungs and the whole LV as a body. The DMZ can expand to take in more individuals (can't say people anymore if we're going to be letting Artemisians on board!), but it can't expand beyond the capacity of the LV System itself, nor, indeed, beyond some pre-determined limits. In this metaphor, the individuals entering it are the air, and the pre-determined limit is the chest cavity.
 >
-> This is how we keep the rest of the System from getting 'contaminated', which I've heard brought up before, and those limits are in place to keep the DMZ from driving up the cost of forking on the rest of the System should it expand much further. I had to dig super deep for this - no clue why it was buried - but the DMZ will have its own, separate reputation market to manage this, since it'll be a different size, but just like how currencies phys-side affected each other, with inflation and deflation, we'll probably see some fluctuations in the markets here, but I wouldn't expect anything too bad.
+> This is how we keep the rest of the System from getting 'contaminated', which I've heard brought up before, and those limits are in place to keep the DMZ from driving up the cost of forking on the rest of the System should it expand much further. I had to dig super deep for this --- no clue why it was buried --- but the DMZ will have its own, separate reputation market to manage this, since it'll be a different size, but just like how currencies phys-side affected each other, with inflation and deflation, we'll probably see some fluctuations in the markets here, but I wouldn't expect anything too bad.
 >
 > Anyway, hope that helps!