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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2022-07-09 08:55:46 -05:00
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writing/post-self/mitzvot/035.md
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@ -166,9 +166,7 @@ May's expression remained calm, but ey could feel the tension in her paw increas
*Wait, does* he *know?* ey wondered. If ever there was a way to keep a group of Odists in check, that might just be it.
Only True Name, of all of them, remained calm. Serious, yes, but calm.
"What does disappearing and being gone look like to you, Jonas? Do you want me to hide away in a hidden sim forever?"
Only True Name, of all of them, remained calm. Serious, yes, but calm. "What does disappearing and being gone look like to you, Jonas?" she asked. "Do you want me to hide away in a hidden sim forever?"
"I wouldn't say no," he shot back.
@ -180,11 +178,13 @@ Only True Name, of all of them, remained calm. Serious, yes, but calm.
"You just can't be around. You can't be you anymore. You can't be walking around and having people point and say, "Hey, it's that piece of shit skunk!" You need to just disappear, because anything else is just going to destabilize your precious System. I'm prepared for that, but I don't think you are."
(( More about why, because this is pretty flimsy))
She shook her head, but whether at his words or his audacity, ey couldn't tell. "Alright, disappear. You want me to stop being a figure and start being a person. You want me to be other than I am."
"Yep," he said, grin tight and false.
"I have already begun," she said, and with a brief pause, ey saw her features relax, and the sudden shift towards an expression ey knew intimately from eir partner fell across her features. She continued in a voice softer than what it had been. Lilting, less space between the syllables. "Because I already am May Then My Name Die With Me--" Another pause, another shift, one more towards stony and stoic voice suddenly dry and simple, almost cerebral. "--and I am already Do I Know God After The End Waking." Finally, she fell back into that first register. "And I remain True Name, and yet I am none of these. I could not go back to that which I was even if I wished to."
"I have already begun," she said, and with a brief pause, ey saw her face and shoulders relax, a sudden shift towards an expression ey knew intimately from eir partner falling across her features. She continued in a voice softer than what it had been. Lilting, less space between the syllables. "Because I already am May Then My Name Die With Me--" Another pause, another shift, one more towards stony and stoic, voice suddenly dry and simple, almost cerebral. "--and I am already Do I Know God After The End Waking." Finally, she fell back into that first register. "And I remain True Name, and yet I am none of these. I could not go back to that which I was even if I wished to."
Jonas raised his eyebrows at the shifts in expression and voice. The frowns around the table on the faces of the other Odists only deepened.
@ -192,10 +192,16 @@ Jonas raised his eyebrows at the shifts in expression and voice. The frowns arou
Both May and End Waking bristled at this, but neither spoke.
"I am not what I was."
"I am not what I was, Jonas. That which was True Name does not simply sit next to that of my cocladists. They are impossibly entangled. I am not what I was."
"I can tell, sure, but you know that's not enough, True Name." His voice was intent, serious in a way ey hadn't seen before. "I am saying that you need to disappear. There is no stable future for the System if you show up in anything close to the same form as you were, and you know that. You were almost assassinated, and doubtless more than you three--" He nodded at May, End Waking, and Ioan. "--know. You show up as you are, and everything crumbles, or at the very least, starts to shift in unstable ways. Plan A was you gone, but plan B relies on you understanding that there's no recovery from a failed plan A that involves you."
"Why did you not even ask me?"
"Would you have stepped down?" he asked with a sneer.
She frowned. "Doubtless you had other cards to play that did not involve Guōweī, some other leverage that did not involve death. You could not convince me, but all this high drama is over the top for you."
"You...what, want me to look different? Sound different?"
"You need to go away, True Name. I don't fucking care how. You make it happen or I will."