update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/007.md

@@ -62,7 +62,7 @@ The lake didn't answer, not in anything other than the water lapping at the shor
 
 "This is stupid."
 
-Ey sat for another hour, just watching the lake, the clouds, the trees, trying not to think about how complicated it was for one person to be so split among instances.
+Ey sat for another hour, just watching the lake, the clouds, the trees, trying not to think about how complicated it was for one person to be so split among so many instances.
 
 The walk back was spent unwinding the thought processes that led em here in the first place. Unwinding and re-coiling into a careful skein, now with fewer knots than it had had in it before, though it still remained tangled.
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/009.md

@@ -10,9 +10,9 @@ May glared after her down-tree instance with her paws bunched into fists and ear
 
 "Ioan, I am not at all happy," she said, voice frigid. "I know that none of this is your fault except inasmuch as you have been meeting her for coffee, but I am having a hard time keeping my anger to myself."
 
-Ey took a long breath, scrubbed eir hands over eir face, and paced in an abbreviated line before her. "I know, May, I don't blame you. I'm completely baffled. Go ahead."
+Ey took a long breath, ran eir hands through eir hair, and paced in an abbreviated line before her. "I know, May, I don't blame you. I'm completely baffled. Go ahead."
 
-"I spend two hundred fucking years trying to get away from that life, from all of her fucking schemes, from what she did to Michelle," she said, voice quickly rising in volume. "And then I spend the last three trying to calm down so that I quit burning up whenever I so much as think about her, and now this. Look at us! Hiding in the woods from assassins. *Assassins!*"
+"I spend two hundred fucking years trying to get away from that life, from all of her fucking schemes," she said, voice quickly rising in volume. "And then I spend the last three trying to calm down so that I quit burning up whenever I so much as think about her, and now this. Look at us! Hiding in the woods from assassins. *Assassins!*"
 
 Ey averted eir gaze from her. Nothing ey could say would help, and ey knew some remote part of emself was feeling much of what she was, too.
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/010.md

@@ -88,7 +88,7 @@ He shrugged. "You don't have to, but I am telling the truth, Ioan. If you and Tr
 
 "Nope! That's it for me. You can go back to your hidey-hole and get all smoochy with--"
 
-Ioan completed the gesture ey'd held back since the beginning, bouncing Jonas from the sim. Ey held back the urge to scream out into the yard just as True Name had done earlier at the lake.
+Ioan completed the gesture ey'd suppressed since the beginning, bouncing Jonas from the sim. Ey held back the urge to scream out into the yard just as True Name had done earlier at the lake.
 
 Ey sent May a quick I'm-okay ping, then started riffling through the perisystem architecture for information on how to completely sweep a sim. There was nothing in there ey could find about checking who was swept, but it was still possible to sweep everyone who didn't currently have their home set to the current sim, and to receive explicit confirmation that this had been completed and how many instances it affected.
 
@@ -248,7 +248,7 @@ Ey bent down to pick up the two bundles of firewood while the new instance of En
 
 End Waking set to work immediately, picking out a flat spot in the trees to set up both tents. Ioan was pleasantly surprised when they turned out to be fairly modern gear --- at least, modern to the 2100s --- thin nylon with carbon fiber spars and a seal-strip entrance which was kept sheltered by a fold in the fabric. The camp beds were of a strong fabric lashed to carbon fiber frames by some springy cord, providing a reasonable amount of give. The bedrolls turned out to be sleeping bags with foam pillows that expanded quickly when the seal-strip was undone.
 
-Throughout the whole process, May, True Name, and eir fork sat by the edge of the lake, far off to the side. Ey couldn't tell if they were simply being silent or if they were talking in a cone of silence, but, other than a brief nod to End Waking from May, they seemed keen on taking the space for themselves.
+Throughout the whole process, May, True Name, and eir down-tree instance sat by the edge of the lake, far off to the side. Ey couldn't tell if they were simply being silent or if they were talking in a cone of silence, but, other than a brief nod to End Waking from May, they seemed keen on taking the space for themselves.
 
 Once the tents and camp beds were set up and Ioan had been shown where and how to start the fire, End Waking bowed politely and said. "We will talk soon, Ioan, I am sure. Until then, please keep you and yours safe."
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/011.md

@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ Both May and True Name bridled at this, likely for similar reasons.
 
 "I am surprised that you stuck around long enough to listen to him, my dear," May said. "He sounds like he was in rare form."
 
-"I mean, I don't know what he's like the rest of the time, but he was doing a really good job of being as insulting as possible. The 'my skunks' part. "I don't have the training your pretty little skunks have", he said, and 'sometimes mommies and daddies fight'. All these little things"
+"I mean, I don't know what he's like the rest of the time, but he was doing a really good job of being as insulting as possible. The 'my skunks' part. "I don't have the training your pretty little skunks have", he said, and 'sometimes mommies and daddies fight'. All these little things."
 
 True Name ground the heels of her palms against her eyes. "I am sorry that you had to go through that, Mx. Bălan. It does indeed sound like he was in fine form. Did he explain his reasons for having you along as amanuensis at all?"