update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/019.md

@@ -44,7 +44,7 @@ May's ears flicked back and she ducked her snout, looking abashed. "I did not th
 
 True Name lifted her gaze and smiled faintly to May. "I do not think you need to worry too much, my dear. We-- they discussed it a few nights ago. It was something as a shock to be used to sleeping alone and also to not have someone in bed with me.
 
-"I think May would explode without someone in bed with her,"  Ioan said.
+"I think May would explode without someone in bed with her,"  Ioan said, hoping to keep the mood light.
 
 "It is not *not* true. I do not sleep well alone."
 
@@ -74,6 +74,16 @@ Ey stayed quiet. Ey wasn't sure how much to push or back off, whether or not the
 
 Realizing the sensitive nature of the question, ey held up eir hands. "Sorry, I asked that without thinking. I was wondering if you wanted a partner, even if you felt your image wouldn't allow that?"
 
-Another long silence followed before she spoke again. "Had you asked me that prior to the merge, I do not think I would have been comfortable answering, but in the context of the memories I now share of Debarre, I think that has changed into a solid 'I do not know'. I do not know if I wanted a partner, because I think it was more important for me to think about maintaining my image than it was for me to think about love."
+Another long silence followed before she spoke again. "Had you asked me that prior to the merge, I do not think I would have been comfortable answering, but in the context of the memories I now share of Debarre, I think that has changed into a solid 'I do not know'. I do not know if I wanted a partner, because I think it was more important for me to think about maintaining my image than it was for me to think about love on some subconscious level."
 
+Ey finished eir coffee and toyed with the empty mug, rotating it first this way and then that on the table while ey thought. Eventually, the two skunks fell into quiet, polite conversation, talking about something ey was too distracted to care about.
 
+They both agreed to more coffee, so ey tasked emself with making another pot, hoping that breaking out of the context would give em more room to think.
+
+That True Name felt such a strong need to maintain her image was more than a little alien to em. However, when it came to her not knowing whether or not she wanted a partner, ey felt an almost unnerving level of concordance with eir own life prior to meeting the Odists, and perhaps even prior to meeting May. Ey did not have an image to maintain, simply a lack of social awareness that kept em from remembering that having a partner was even a thing that ey could do. Neither True Name nor em always seemed to have something that kept them from thinking about love until something --- May for em and this merge (or perhaps even this conversation) for True Name --- suddenly forced the issue.
+
+Ey didn't know why, what part of em was in charge of making such predictions, but the thought that May might try to merge down with True Name forced itself into eir mind and wedged firmly in place. Ey couldn't think of why, what reason eir partner might even have to do so. A need to force her to experience her own resentment? A desire to help her become a better person? A fit of pique?
+
+It made no sense, and yet this sudden image of True Name as the type of person who might have a relationship, who now had decades of memories of dating Debarre in the form of End Waking seemed to have set off a runaway train of thought.
+
+"Ioan?"