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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2022-05-18 19:20:07 -07:00
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writing/post-self/mitzvot/032.md
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@ -56,12 +56,56 @@ Debarre sat, silent. The comment all but demanded silence from him, so rare was
"I will be going because if this is to be the end of True Name or whatever she is becoming, then it will be a step towards letting go. It will be an in for me to become independent. If I am to move beyond that which defines me, I would like to know how."
"Still thinking of cutting your ties?"
"Still thinking of cutting your ties? Dropping the clade name?"
End Waking shrugged. "Would that be so bad? May Then My Name would become simply a friend, rather than a friend and cocladist. True Name would become someone I know. I do not speak with the others. Serene, perhaps? But even then, it has been many years. It would not change my relationship with you. The forest will not care if I am an Odist or if I am not. To it, I am called Nobody, and when I die and moulder beneath the roots, then it will say that it feasts on Nobody."
Debarre sighed. Hearing End Waking talk so much was a rarity, but that the death-thoughts were still there, meant it'd be a while yet before he'd be allowed back for good.
Debarre sighed. Hearing End Waking talk so much was a rarity, but that the death-thoughts were still there, meant it'd be a while yet before he'd be allowed back to stay.
((What EW hopes to learn from the visit with Jonas, EW is mostly just there to witness, or to be scared into silence, but Debarre worries that it's to scare *him* into silence. Why is he even going? Because this feels like a step towards letting go and becoming independent))
"And AwDae? The Name?" he asked. As he always did when Debarre said their friends name, the skunk stiffened, hunched his shoulders, and drew his hood up over his head. All the same, he'd made it a point to say it at least once per visit. There had been a row the first few times, but he'd won on point that AwDae had been his friend, too.
((Debarre heads back home to afterdinner w/ a few people, talks in generalities, that something big is coming soon, that he'll keep them up to date, but that life will be getting both more and less simple in the next little bit))
"I do not know, Debarre. That is, I think, the one thing that I will ever defer to True Name on."
He snorted. "Really?"
"If she, of all of us, were ever to feel comfortable speaking it, to talking about em, then I will know that this embargo will have been lifted."
"Well, fair," the weasel said, finishing his tea before handing the mug back to End Waking to let the skunk snack on the remnants. He'd never really enjoyed them enough to do so himself. "I'm happy for you, you know that?"
He laughed, swallowing the spent lemon balm and mint he'd been chewing. "Happy?"
"Yeah. Like..." Debarre trailed off, hunting for words. "I've never seen you move forward so much all at once. Or at all, really. Like, it's not a bad thing to have a life that you're happy with, but watching you work on the things you *weren't* happy with is nice to see. Kinda glad May Then My Name talked you into the merge, honestly."
"It has brought me a lightness, yes. She is meddlesome, but kind-hearted."
"You're telling me. She gave me rules of engagement when I first showed up. Thought she was being weird, but they worked pretty well."
"She is a brat."
Debarre laughed. "You all are. But hey, I should get going."
The slight sag in End Waking's shoulders spoke of relief. He nodded, saying, "Of course. Thank you for the chance to talk."
"You'll let me know when you're going out to this meeting, right?"
"Of course."
"And you promise you'll send a fork?"
"I will."
"And call if you need?"
"Debarre, shut up," End Waking said, patting his knee. "Go. I will keep you up to date."
"Fine, fine." He gave the skunk's paw a squeeze and grinned. "Love you."
"Love you too."
Debarre quit, rather than bothering with stepping back home. The pile of memories caught his down-tree instance in the middle of a sentence --- thankfully something unimportant --- and he had to spend a minute reconciling the memories with the ones he'd made since.
"Well, that was interesting."
"Fuck," user11824 said. "I was worried you'd say something like that."
He laughed. "You're right to worry. Shit's going to get really weird here. Life'll get both more and less simple in the next little bit."