update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/036.md

@@ -234,7 +234,7 @@ Ioan nodded, brushing out the skunk's tail with a fine-toothed comb as ey'd been
 
 "How do you feel about her apology?"
 
-"How do you mean, my dear?"
+"How do you mean?"
 
 Ey shrugged. "It felt...I don't know, a little rehearsed, maybe."
 
@@ -248,7 +248,7 @@ The same was true here, as well. Many members of the clade --- some of whom ey'd
 
 Not all of these interactions went nearly so smoothly.
 
-A scant few weeks later, May stumbled in the middle of a rehearsal, falling to her knees, panting before pushing herself to her feet. She managed to make it through the rest of the scene before forking off so that she could continue as best she could while her root instance ducked back home.
+A scant few weeks later, May stumbled in the middle of a rehearsal, falling to her knees, panting, before pushing herself to her feet. She managed to make it through the rest of the scene before forking off so that she could continue as best she could while her root instance ducked back home.
 
 Once there, she darted over towards where Ioan sat at eir desk, working through the process of writing Jonas's book. She knelt beside em, clutched a pawful of eir shirt and set up a cone of silence. Ey felt the ACL-scape of the cone shift several times until it was just about as secure as could be made.
 
@@ -368,7 +368,7 @@ She extracted one of her paws from his and slapped him firmly across the snout.
 
 Yelping, he fell back onto an elbow. He opened his mouth to respond, but May had already nodded towards Douglas, who swept him from the sim.
 
-"I've never seen you like that before," he said, once they'd made their way inside, the four of them clutching glasses of water. "I knew he was a shitbag, but God damn."
+"I've never seen you like that before," he said, once they'd made their way inside, the four of them clutching glasses of water. "I knew he was a shitbag, but god damn."
 
 "I am...not okay," she said, whispering down to her glass. "I am not okay."
 
@@ -382,7 +382,7 @@ Sasha joined them in bed that night, and they took what comfort they could from
 
 The most dramatic of meetings came as Autumn began creeping over the edge of the hills. Quieter, perhaps, but bearing the most weight, the most finality.
 
-If I Am To Bathe In Dreams arrived late on a Saturday afternoon on a few minutes' notice and bowed formally to Sasha.
+If I Am To Bathe In Dreams, an elegant, if severe-looking skunk, arrived late on a Saturday afternoon on a few minutes' notice and bowed formally to Sasha.
 
 "Ioan, I believe Jonas hired you as an amanuensis?" she said.
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/037.md

@@ -172,7 +172,7 @@ Ey laughed.
 
 Ey nodded. "And I'm guessing you don't miss the social part of that life too much? Jonas or Zacharias or the rest of your stanza."
 
-She poked at eir side with a claw before slouching against em. "You do not need to ask stupid questions, Ioan."
+She poked at eir side with a claw. "You do not need to ask stupid questions, Ioan."
 
 "Right, right," ey said, laughing. "I figured no love lost, but--"
 
@@ -180,7 +180,7 @@ She poked at eir side with a claw before slouching against em. "You do not need
 
 Her tone wasn't upset or dismissive, but was assertive enough that ey dropped the point. "Well, writing sounds like a good career shift, then."
 
-"Says the writer."
+"Says the writer." She slouched against eir side.
 
 "I liked what you've gotten down so far, and I have a few notes. We'll talk about it when we're back at a desk, though."
 
@@ -206,7 +206,7 @@ Ey shook eir head. "Right, sorry. I trust you."
 
 "Precisely. I imagine the same applies to you, that you will come by it earnestly."
 
-Ey nodded. "Basically. Is it something you'd want?"
+Ey nodded. "Basically. *Is* it something you'd want?"
 
 "God, I have no fucking clue, Ioan," she said, laughing.
 
@@ -220,6 +220,6 @@ Ey turned her words over in eir mind, along with whatever snippet of verse it wa
 
 Instead, ey said, "You're a good person, Sasha. All three of you are good people."
 
-She laughed. "And you, dear, are a dork. But come, my tail is falling asleep, and my fork's conversation with May has wrapped up and the one you love misses you greatly."
+She laughed. "And you, dear, are a dork. But come, my tail is falling asleep, and my fork's conversation with May has wrapped up and she misses you greatly."
 
 They walked back, then, hand in paw, following the trail as it dipped down to the water or ducked up into the trees. Back home, back to May, back to whatever it was that life had become.