update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/remote/codrin/008.md

@@ -8,25 +8,25 @@ Ey felt dazed, unmoored from reality. Ey could feel more clearly the way that ti
 
 "Codrin?"
 
-Sarah's voice jolted em back to the present, and ey smiled sheepishly to her. "Sorry. I was elsewhere. What's up?"
+Sarah's voice jolted em back to the present, and ey smiled tiredly to her. "Sorry. I was elsewhere. What's up?"
 
-She laughed and waved her hand. "It's alright. That was a whole lot all at once. I was asking how True Name was when you left her. Is she alright?"
+She laughed and waved away the comment. "It's alright. That was a whole lot all at once. I was asking how True Name was when you left her. Is she alright?"
 
 "Yeah. She was sleeping. I don't know how much they-- well, how much she has been sleeping of late, but given that she seems constantly exhausted, I'm glad she's getting at least a little."
 
 "This does seem to be taking its toll on her. When this is all over, I'd like to sit down with you and her and learn a bit more about this." She hesitated, then added, "Or at least with you, depending on how willing she is."
 
-Ey nodded. Ey could feel the knowledge of what ey'd learned clawing at eir insides. The Name, the pronouns, feeling the owner of the Name in the system. It wanted out, at least in some way, but there was no one other than True Name ey'd be able to share that with from now until eternity.
+Ey nodded. Ey could feel the knowledge of what ey'd learned sitting heavily in eir gut, clawing at eir insides. The Name, the pronouns, feeling the owner of the Name in the system. It wanted out, at least in some way, but there was no one other than True Name ey'd be able to share that with from now until eternity.
 
-Swallowing down the feeling clutching at eir throat, ey said instead, "You know, she said something to me when she was laying down to nap. She said something like, "I need someone to anchor me and you are very good at that". Come to think of it, I got a note from Codrin#Artemis that Tycho said similar earlier, that he said I'm 'grounding'."
+Swallowing down the feeling clutching at eir throat, ey said instead, "You know, she said something to me when she was laying down to nap. She said something like, "I need someone to anchor me and you are very good at that". And come to think of it, I got a note from Codrin#Artemis that Tycho said similar earlier, that he said I'm 'grounding'."
 
 Sarah nodded readily. "You are, yeah. Why do you bring it up?"
 
-"It's not something I'd really considered about myself, honestly." Ey spoke slowly, piecing together eir thoughts as ey went. "I've been questioning my path in life so far. I've been very passive, very much like a recorder. I'm good at being a recorder, but I also feel like I get dragged into it more often than I choose to do so."
+"It's not something I'd really considered about myself." Ey spoke slowly, piecing together eir thoughts as ey went. "I've been questioning my path in life moving forward. I've been very passive, very much like a recorder. I'm *good* at being an amanuensis, but I also feel like I get dragged into it more often than I choose to do so."
 
 "Does being a grounding person help with that?"
 
-Ey shrugged. "I suppose so. Empathy helps, because it lets me understand what's happening more readily. The way Tycho and True Name put it, though, sounds more active."
+Ey shrugged. "I suppose so. Empathy helps, because it lets me understand what's happening more readily. The way Tycho and True Name put it, though, sounds...I don't know, more active."
 
 She nodded again, waiting in silence until ey was done speaking.
 
@@ -40,11 +40,11 @@ Turun Ko dipped its head as Artante bowed, saying, "Recorder Codrin Bălan, repr
 
 "They're probably down the hall," Codrin said, returning the bow. "Every time they sneak off, they head for an alcove there and talk as much as they can."
 
-The fourthracer laughed. "Yes, I suppose they do. Will you join us in finding them?"
-
 "We are pleased-excited to witness mutual enjoyment," Turun Ko said, voice bouncing between registers in amusement.
 
-Codrin led them down the hall past their rest area. The hallway continued on past it, though it ended at a flat wall that ey supposed must be an exit when the place was not in use. Past the rest area, though, there was an alcove to the side, windows on three sides looking out over a garden. It seemed perpetually sunny, and every time ey'd seen them there, the thirdracer had been sunning themself while they chatted.
+The fourthracer laughed. "I am not surprised. Will you join us in finding them?"
+
+Codrin led them down the hall past their rest area. The hallway continued on past it, though it ended at a flat wall that ey supposed must be an exit when the place was not in use for a convergence. To the side, though, there was an alcove, windows on the three walls looking out over a garden. It seemed perpetually sunny, and every time ey'd seen them there, the thirdracer had been sunning themself while they chatted.
 
 "*Nahi,* recorder Codrin Bălan," Stolon said, then sat up straighter, bowing from a seated position to the other delegates. "*Rehas' les.*"
 
@@ -52,17 +52,19 @@ Ey bowed. "Apologies for interrupting. I figured I'd get us all together as sugg
 
 "*Ka, ka,*" Stolon said, bobbing their head.
 
-There was a ping against eir sense of time, a sensation of insistent pressing. "Please? We will speak at synchronized skew."
+There was a ping against eir sense of time, a sensation of insistent pressing.
+
+"Please?" Turun Ko said. "We will speak at synchronized skew."
 
 Ey frowned, relaxing against the sensation and feeling eir control over time diminish. After a moment of looking uncomfortable, both Sarah and Tycho nodded as well.
 
 There was a brief lurch as time skewed quickly up to two point five, moving far more quickly and with more surety than eir experiments up to that point.
 
-"Thank you, recorder Codrin Bălan, representative Sarah Genet." The firstracer shifted back, settling onto its haunches and tail and clasping its hands together over its front, which appeared to be the default resting state for its race.
+"Thank you, recorder Codrin Bălan, representative Sarah Genet, scientist Tycho Brahe." The firstracer shifted back, settling onto its haunches and tail and clasping its hands together over its front, which appeared to be the default resting state for its race.
 
 "How do you feel the talks are going?" Artante asked.
 
-Tycho picked at a corner of the stone sill, shrugging. "I suppose so. I'm feeling really in over my head."
+Tycho picked at a corner of the stone sill, shrugging. "Well enough, I suppose. I'm feeling really in over my head."
 
 Stolon tilted their head far to the side. "In over...?"