update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/003.md

@@ -66,7 +66,7 @@ That also felt like a closed topic given its context of being purpose-built, so
 
 She smiled disarmingly and held up her free paw. "Of course, Ioan, no trouble. Can you tell me about your own project, perhaps?"
 
-Ey opened eir mouth, closed it again, then laughed. "I feel like I laid a bunch of landmines around me. Hopefully it's not awkward, but with all that went down on Castor, I've been toying with rewriting *Perils* as a play."
+Ey opened eir mouth, closed it again, then laughed. "I feel like I laid a bunch of landmines around me. Hopefully it's not awkward, but with all that went down on Castor, I've been toying with rewriting *On the Perils of Memory* as a play."
 
 The skunk got a strange look on her face, then laughed. "Oh really? Cheeky! I do not know if I will be able to make it to a performance, but I will be delighted to read the script, if you wind up publishing it."
 
@@ -82,7 +82,7 @@ Ey worked for a few minutes. They both did, if True Name's thoughtful gaze up in
 
 "What, *Perils*?"
 
-She nodded. "It was something of a relief in a strange, roundabout way. While I would have preferred that it had not ended the way it did, it wound up being a pretty efficient way to bring all of that to the surface. A lot of very smart people have been thinking about it over the last few decades, and I am pleased to see some progress being made."
+She nodded. "It was something of a relief in a strange, roundabout way. While I would have preferred that it had not ended the way it did, it wound up being a pretty efficient way to bring all of that to the surface. A lot of very smart people have been thinking about it over the last few decades, and I am pleased to see some progress being made, especially on the therapeutic side."
 
 Ioan tilted eir head thoughtfully. "Sounds like, yeah. At least, from what I hear from May and Codrin. A Finger Pointing has been pretty tight-lipped about her own therapy and I don't think End Waking went along with it."
 
@@ -102,7 +102,7 @@ Ioan had to focus on keeping eir expression neutral. True Name hadn't had the ki
 
 "Uh...well, no," ey stammered, caught off guard by the humor. "Actually, no contact at all. I don't think I've even talked about what happened with the other side of the clade until now."
 
-"'The other side of the clade' is a more appropriate phrase, is it not? We are spread along a spectrum. Those like Dear, May Then My Name, and A Finger Pointing at one end, those such as Praiseworthy, Those Who Forge, and Teeth Of Death somewhere in the middle, and then me and my ilk on the other." The skunk finished her coffee and leaned forward to set her cup down before continuing. "To soothe any fears you may have, it was not me who hired Guōweī, nor am I pleased with what happened and how."
+"'The other side of the clade' is a more appropriate phrase, is it not? We are spread along a spectrum. Those like Dear, May Then My Name, and Hammered Silver at one end, those such as Praiseworthy, Those Who Forge, and Teeth Of Death somewhere in the middle, and then me and my ilk on the other." The skunk finished her coffee and leaned forward to set her cup down before continuing. "To soothe any fears you may have, it was not me who hired Guōweī, nor am I pleased with what happened and how."
 
 "Who did? Do you know?"
 
@@ -174,7 +174,7 @@ Ey smiled and nodded. "Of course, True Name."
 
 As the skunk's focus drifted away, ey opened eir notebook again and stared at what ey'd written already. The words were marks on the page, ey could tell, but eir mind was so wrapped up in the conversation that ey wasn't able to make sense of them. Too much had gone on in too short a timespan. All that talk of Qoheleth, of the conservatives' opinions of the events, or at least of True Name's.
 
-She'd been so candid about it all, just as she'd been growing more candid with em in general over the last few years. She had all the reason in the world to use her centuries of skills to use that intentionally, though. Ey'd never met anyone so tightly in control of themself as her. Perhaps even now, dozens, hundreds of sensorium messages were flying across her stanza preparing a oft landing for eir play in light of the fact that others now knew the Name.
+She'd been so candid about it all, just as she'd been growing more candid with em in general over the last few years. She had all the reason in the world to use her centuries of skills intentionally, though. Ey'd never met anyone so tightly in control of themself as her. Perhaps even now, dozens, hundreds of sensorium messages were flying across her stanza preparing a soft landing for eir play in light of the fact that others now knew the Name.
 
 And yet...