update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/marsh/004.md

@@ -486,7 +486,7 @@ The skunk didn't reply other than to continue whispering 'no' quietly.
 
 A Finger Pointing spoke up, casting a careful sidelong glance at her partner, Beholden. "We have spoken of the Ode, yes, of the two lines, but we should not omit those long-lived instances that were lost. I have lost one of my own up-trees. I have lost A Finger Curled."
 
-At this, Beholden burst suddenly into tears, eventually rolling to the side to slip out of the sim. A Finger Pointing quickly forked to follow while the other instance remained.
+At this, Beholden let out a cry and burst suddenly into tears, eventually rolling to the side to slip out of the sim. A Finger Pointing quickly forked to follow while the other instance remained.
 
 "You are right. I apologize, my dear," Need An Answer said, bowing. "Of the 28 missing, five are long-lived instances that are not named lines, including A Finger Curled. My condolences to you, to Beholden, and to her up-tree instance."
 
@@ -508,11 +508,11 @@ Dry Grass lowered her head as several of the other Odists joined. After a moment
 
 "Will you come with?" Cress asked, alarmed.
 
-"Not yet, my love. I will rejoin before long. One of the lost long-lived instances was one of my own, and this will give me a chance to step back and grieve, myself."
+"Not yet, my love. I will rejoin before long. One of the lost long-lived instances was one of my own, and this will give me a chance to step back and grieve, myself–" Her voice trailed off into a hoarseness that spoke of tears to come.
 
 Cress's expression fell, and it wrapped its arms around her. "I'm sorry, I didn't know..."
 
-"I did not say," Dry Grass said, shrugging. Whatever confidence she had been leaning on before was gone. She looked to be struggling to hold herself together. "We will talk later, my love. More of me remain at home, too."
+"I did not say," Dry Grass said, shrugging. Whatever confidence she had been leaning on before was gone. She looked to be struggling to hold herself together. "We will talk later. More of me remain at home, too."
 
 We all took turns, ensuring that she got a hug from each of us, then stepped away, this time to the pagoda that I had discovered earlier that day before sleeping.
 
@@ -528,11 +528,11 @@ There was a long silence, followed by a sigh of her own. *"Just us?"*
 
 Another long pause, and then a sense of a nod.
 
-A few moments after I sent her the address of the sim, she popped into being beside me. Her expression was flat and motions stiff as she walked with me to join the rest of the clade in the pagoda. Even as the rest of the Marshans greeted her, she simply nodded, saying nothing.
+A few moments after I sent her the address of the sim, she popped into being beside me, looking freshly showered. Her expression was flat and motions stiff as she walked with me to join the rest of the clade in the pagoda. Even as the rest of the Marshans greeted her, she simply nodded, saying nothing.
 
 If I'd been expecting us all to jump into conversation, I was disappointed. However, there was still relief when we fell back into silence, each thinking our thoughts, looking out over the pasture at the fog and the shadows of sheep. The only sounds were those of the sim — a hint of rain further out on the grass, another tinkle or two of a bell — and my own breathing.
 
-Once more, questions bubbled up within me. What could I possibly do in the face of such enormity? How could 48 billion people just disappear? What was Phys-side doing about all of this other than hiding the details they doubtless had? More 'how could I's dogging my heels — how could I be sitting here in silence? How could I have stepped away from Dry Grass, the one person I knew who was working hardest on this? How could I not have looped Lily into this whole conversation?
+Once more, questions bubbled up within me. What could I possibly do in the face of such enormity? How could 48 billion people just disappear? What was phys-side doing about all of this other than hiding the details they doubtless had? More 'how could I's dogging my heels — how could I be sitting here in silence? How could I have stepped away from Dry Grass, the one person I knew who was working hardest on this? How could I not have looped Lily into this whole conversation?
 
 "So," Lily said. "What's up?"
 
@@ -564,7 +564,7 @@ Sedge leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "There's always been a bu
 
 "I'm not sure they think of us as people."
 
-Lily snorted. "Not as people," she sneered. "Sorry, Sedge, I know it's not on you. You're probably right. I'm just feeling like shit now."
+Lily snorted. "'Not as people'," she sneered. "Sorry, Sedge, I know it's not on you. You're probably right. I'm just feeling like shit now."
 
 Rush smiled faintly. "I think we all are."