diff --git a/.tags b/.tags index 1b98d358..32c6febd 100644 --- a/.tags +++ b/.tags @@ -4,10 +4,12 @@ chapter writing/sawtooth/centerpiece.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/centerpiece chapter writing/sawtooth/party/1-2-hostess.md 2;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/party/1-2-hostess\twriting/sawtooth/party/1-2-hostess chapter writing/sawtooth/party/1-3-breeding-pair.md 2;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/party/1-3-breeding-pair\twriting/sawtooth/party/1-3-breeding-pair chapter writing/sawtooth/party/1-4-hostess.md 2;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/party/1-4-hostess\twriting/sawtooth/party/1-4-hostess +covid-19 diary/2020-04-09.md 1;" vimwiki:diary/2020-04-09\tdiary/2020-04-09 covid-19 diary/2020-04-10.md 1;" vimwiki:diary/2020-04-10\tdiary/2020-04-10 death writing/sawtooth/fisher.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/fisher\twriting/sawtooth/fisher#death death writing/sawtooth/youre-gone.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/youre-gone\twriting/sawtooth/youre-gone#death depression diary/2020-04-10.md 1;" vimwiki:diary/2020-04-10\tdiary/2020-04-10 +diary diary/2020-04-09.md 1;" vimwiki:diary/2020-04-09\tdiary/2020-04-09 diary diary/2020-04-10.md 1;" vimwiki:diary/2020-04-10\tdiary/2020-04-10 divorce writing/sawtooth/what-defines-us.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/what-defines-us\twriting/sawtooth/what-defines-us#divorce epistolary writing/sawtooth/what-defines-us.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/what-defines-us\twriting/sawtooth/what-defines-us#epistolary @@ -21,6 +23,7 @@ erotica writing/sawtooth/party/1-2-hostess.md 2;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/party erotica writing/sawtooth/party/1-3-breeding-pair.md 2;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/party/1-3-breeding-pair\twriting/sawtooth/party/1-3-breeding-pair erotica writing/sawtooth/party/1-4-hostess.md 2;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/party/1-4-hostess\twriting/sawtooth/party/1-4-hostess erotica writing/sawtooth/party/index.md 2;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/party/index\twriting/sawtooth/party/index +executive-function diary/2020-04-09.md 1;" vimwiki:diary/2020-04-09\tdiary/2020-04-09 executive-function diary/2020-04-10.md 1;" vimwiki:diary/2020-04-10\tdiary/2020-04-10 family writing/sawtooth/the-fool.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/the-fool\twriting/sawtooth/the-fool#family family writing/sawtooth/what-defines-us.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/what-defines-us\twriting/sawtooth/what-defines-us#family @@ -61,6 +64,7 @@ furry writing/sawtooth/what-defines-us.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/what-defi furry writing/sawtooth/youre-gone.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/youre-gone\twriting/sawtooth/youre-gone#furry gender writing/sawtooth/disapperance.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/disapperance\twriting/sawtooth/disapperance#gender gender writing/sawtooth/the-fool.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/the-fool\twriting/sawtooth/the-fool#gender +hybrid diary/2020-04-09.md 1;" vimwiki:diary/2020-04-09\tdiary/2020-04-09 in-progress writing/sawtooth/happy-lesbians.md 2;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/happy-lesbians\twriting/sawtooth/happy-lesbians incomplete writing/sawtooth/aposematism.md 2;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/aposematism\twriting/sawtooth/aposematism kink writing/sawtooth/centerpiece.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/centerpiece\twriting/sawtooth/centerpiece#kink @@ -117,6 +121,7 @@ short-story writing/sawtooth/the-fool.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/the-fool\t short-story writing/sawtooth/what-defines-us.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/what-defines-us\twriting/sawtooth/what-defines-us#short-story suicide writing/sawtooth/every-angel-is-terrifying.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/every-angel-is-terrifying\twriting/sawtooth/every-angel-is-terrifying#suicide universe writing/sawtooth/index.md 2;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/index\twriting/sawtooth/index +writing diary/2020-04-09.md 1;" vimwiki:diary/2020-04-09\tdiary/2020-04-09 writing writing/index.md 2;" vimwiki:writing/index\twriting/index writing writing/sawtooth/a-theory-of-attachment.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/a-theory-of-attachment\twriting/sawtooth/a-theory-of-attachment#writing writing writing/sawtooth/acts-of-intent.md 3;" vimwiki:writing/sawtooth/acts-of-intent\twriting/sawtooth/acts-of-intent#writing diff --git a/diary/2020-04-09.md b/diary/2020-04-09.md index ac9356c5..bd0d3be0 100644 --- a/diary/2020-04-09.md +++ b/diary/2020-04-09.md @@ -1,16 +1,16 @@ -: hybrid:diary:covid-19:executive-function:writing: +:hybrid:diary:covid-19:executive-function:writing: -I\'m trying to get over this executive dysfunction hump, but it\'s proving difficult. I\'ve been hearing a lot of folks talk about how the panic of this whole pandemic, the very trauma of it, affects us even when it doesn\'t feel like it is. +I'm trying to get over this executive dysfunction hump, but it's proving difficult. I've been hearing a lot of folks talk about how the panic of this whole pandemic, the very trauma of it, affects us even when it doesn't feel like it is. -In my case, I guess it\'s at least a bit more obvious, given the ongoing unemployment and financial struggles, but even when I\'m not thinking about those, I feel like I\'m wading through mud when trying to even get down to Hybrid stuff. It\'s like there\'s this goal I have and I\'m terrified of reaching it. It has me wondering how much burnout has left me\...well, still burnt out. Burnout from work leading to burnout in life. It makes me feel dull. Stupid. +In my case, I guess it's at least a bit more obvious, given the ongoing unemployment and financial struggles, but even when I'm not thinking about those, I feel like I'm wading through mud when trying to even get down to Hybrid stuff. It's like there's this goal I have and I'm terrified of reaching it. It has me wondering how much burnout has left me...well, still burnt out. Burnout from work leading to burnout in life. It makes me feel dull. Stupid. Oh well. Todo ---- -- \[ \] Respond to Hybrid authors -- \[ \] Pay Small Loves authors -- \[ \] Finish Acethetic reading -- \[ \] Patreon posts for Qoheleth -- \[O\] Write a chapter, edit a chapter +* [ ] Respond to Hybrid authors +* [ ] Pay Small Loves authors +* [ ] Finish Acethetic reading +* [ ] Patreon posts for Qoheleth +* [O] Write a chapter, edit a chapter diff --git a/diary/2020-04-10.md b/diary/2020-04-10.md index c126391a..9e24237d 100644 --- a/diary/2020-04-10.md +++ b/diary/2020-04-10.md @@ -1,18 +1,18 @@ :diary:executive-function:depression:covid-19: -Another day of depression, another day of failing to do the things that I need to do. I still feel the tendrils of burnout pulling me down. They\'re trapping me and keeping me from moving on with my life. The minute I have a task that I need to complete that involves any sort of organization, I just\...can\'t. I sit and stare at the screen. I panic. I dissociate. I cry. I sit on the couch with my phone and watch [wordless](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbFT7kCFo9Q "wikilink") [competency](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvL83-iy-EQ "wikilink") [porn](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PwAQZNLy0I "wikilink"). Is there any reason I should do anything other than fall short of expectations? +Another day of depression, another day of failing to do the things that I need to do. I still feel the tendrils of burnout pulling me down. They're trapping me and keeping me from moving on with my life. The minute I have a task that I need to complete that involves any sort of organization, I just...can't. I sit and stare at the screen. I panic. I dissociate. I cry. I sit on the couch with my phone and watch [wordless](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbFT7kCFo9Q) [competency](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvL83-iy-EQ) [porn](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PwAQZNLy0I). Is there any reason I should do anything other than fall short of expectations? -Obviously that\'s not quite how the world works. Authors need to be paid, emails need responding to, tasks need completed. Until WA gets their unemployment system fixed, I need to keep on top of applying for jobs. These are all things I \_need\_ to do, and yet they are things that I have so much trouble actually doing. +Obviously that's not quite how the world works. Authors need to be paid, emails need responding to, tasks need completed. Until WA gets their unemployment system fixed, I need to keep on top of applying for jobs. These are all things I _need_ to do, and yet they are things that I have so much trouble actually doing. -Maybe it\'s burnout, but maybe it\'s just the usual depression mixed with the hopelessness inherent in both another failed election cycle and a global pandemic. Who knows? +Maybe it's burnout, but maybe it's just the usual depression mixed with the hopelessness inherent in both another failed election cycle and a global pandemic. Who knows? I just sit here, dilating for too long, and try not to think. Todo ---- -- \[ \] Respond to Hybrid authors -- \[ \] Pay Small Loves authors -- \[ \] Finish Acethetic reading -- \[ \] Patreon posts for Qoheleth -- \[X\] Write a chapter, edit a chapter +* [ ] Respond to Hybrid authors +* [ ] Pay Small Loves authors +* [ ] Finish Acethetic reading +* [ ] Patreon posts for Qoheleth +* [X] Write a chapter, edit a chapter