update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/local/tycho/014.md

@@ -42,7 +42,7 @@ Silence fell again while they both looked up to the sky. Nothing needed to be sa
 
 Once he heard the clink of champagne bottle against glass again, True Name pouring herself some more, he said, keeping his voice as kind as he could, "Why are you telling me this? Why are you here?"
 
-She laughed, set the bottle aside and shifted from her kneeling position to more of a lounge, hips canted to the side with her tail draped down the gentle slope of the hill. "I do not know, Tycho. I do not remember how to celebrate, but I still want to try, I guess. Fifthrace! I could never have imagined." After another few laps at her champagne, she sighed and added, "Sarah has gone with Codrin to Dear's, and I am not welcome there. Answers Will Not Help and Why Ask Questions are in conversation with another me. Jonas is...Jonas."
+She laughed, set the bottle aside and shifted from her kneeling position to more of a lounge, hips canted to the side with her tail draped down the gentle slope of the hill. "I do not know, Tycho. I do not remember how to celebrate, but I still want to try, I guess. Fifthrace! I could never have imagined." After another few laps at her champagne, she sighed and added, "Sarah has gone with Codrin to Dear's, and I am not welcome there. Answers Will Not Help and Why Ask Questions are in conversation with another me. Jonas is...Jonas. Another me is talking with him and Turun Ka"
 
 "So you came to me, of all people."
 
@@ -88,7 +88,7 @@ He winced. "I was wondering how that'd go."
 
 Tycho set aside his empty glass and stretched out on the grass, laying on his back once more, arms crossed beneath his head. "I was worried about that, yeah. I can't speak to the ease of merging, but I'm glad you made it through all the same."
 
-He could hear the grin in her voice as she said, "I am pleased to hear that. The distance between "we are coworkers and should act as such while at work" and "I don't actually like you but have to tolerate you" is rather small, and I could not tell which it was with you."
+He could hear the grin in her voice as she said, "I am pleased to hear that. The distance between "we are coworkers and should act as such while at work" and "I do not actually like you but have to tolerate you" is rather small, and I could not tell which it was with you."
 
 "I like you," he said, laughing at her easy humor. "You're a little terrifying, but I respect you."
 

writing/post-self/neviim/remote/tycho/005.md

@@ -46,7 +46,7 @@ He tentatively tried labeling the idea that coiled within him with 'restlessness
 
 "I want to stay here," he interrupted, surprising even himself. "Even if we don't become fifthrace or anything. I want to stay here. I want to stay on Artemis."
 
-Stunned silence fell around the table. Even he felt some of that shock. The words were out of his mouth before he'd even had the chance to check them for truth, and yet they bore as much truth as any mathematical theorem that he knew. They were *true.* They were *correct.* 
+Stunned silence fell around the table. Even he felt some of that shock. The words were out of his mouth before he'd even had the chance to check them for truth, and yet they bore as much truth as any mathematical theorem that he knew. They were *true.* They were *correct.* They were *anemla.* 
 
 "I also want for us to be fifthrace, I mean," he added, voice quieter. "I want this convergence to wind up with that ending of the two. I want to join you, and I want *us* to join you."
 
@@ -94,7 +94,7 @@ Tycho laughed, nodded. "And hey, think of the sights we'll get to see along the
 
 "For certain definitions of see, yes." She smiled and shrugged. "Thank you for spurring this discussion, my dear. I do not want to take too much time away from the conference, though, leader Turun Ka. I apologize if we need to get back to the topic at hand."
 
-After the round of answers, there was a brief, blurred meeting, and then the Artemisians stood as one, each bowing as their race had when they first entered.
+After the round of answers, there was a long, blurred meeting, and then the Artemisians stood as one, each bowing as their race had when they first entered.
 
 Tycho stood as well, and, after a moment's hesitation, so too did the rest of the table. He didn't know why they were standing and bowing, but it seemed to be what the moment demanded.
 
@@ -120,7 +120,7 @@ Silence followed the series of formal greetings, broken only by the sound of him
 
 "I must admit, leader Turun Ka," True Name said, voice hoarse. "I was not expecting this. I had been working under the assumption that we still had several steps to go on your checklist. This feels sudden."
 
-"This is the reason for us holding two separate talks in separate locations about separate topics," it said with a hint of a bow. "Working in parallel with different parameters increases the opportunities for forward momentum. The message that I received from Castor via recorder Codrin Bălan mentioned the penultimate step had been reached, that of acting individually for the betterment of all without the blessing of leadership. With that news, we expected that the decision point would be reached today. The opportunities for happiness and safety were created. There may yet be further talks, the rest of which will simply be between us as species with shared goals rather than delegates."
+"This is the reason for us holding two separate talks in separate locations about separate topics," it said with a hint of a bow. "Working in parallel with different parameters increases the opportunities for forward momentum. The message that I received from Castor via recorder Codrin Bălan mentioned the penultimate step had been reached, that of acting individually for the betterment of all without the blessing of leadership. With that news, we expected that the decision point would be reached today. The opportunities for happiness and safety were created. There will be further talks as long as we are within range, and even after as we join with one another, all of which will simply be between us as species with shared goals rather than delegates."
 
 She and nodded, that faint smile returning. "A sensible approach."