From 5b145256c534f8489342dee15df50652058010b6 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Madison Scott-Clary Date: Sun, 17 Oct 2021 14:20:04 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] update from sparkleup --- writing/post-self/toledot/index.md | 2 +- .../launch/launch/Codrin-castor/002.md | 30 +++++++++---------- 2 files changed, 16 insertions(+), 16 deletions(-) diff --git a/writing/post-self/toledot/index.md b/writing/post-self/toledot/index.md index 94fef4f6..6dc490e2 100644 --- a/writing/post-self/toledot/index.md +++ b/writing/post-self/toledot/index.md @@ -68,7 +68,7 @@ Nearing the 200th anniversary of System secession from humanity, the System and * [X] [Secession: phys-side: Yared](secession/phys/Yared/003) - first change from Yosef, talking with True Name and Jonas - 2791 * [X] [Secession: sys-side: True Name](secession/sys/True-Name/001) - brings news of the bill to Council of Eight, discuss speciation - 1833 * [X] [Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Pollux](launch/launch/Codrin-pollux/001) - Codrin#Pollux interviews Dear about why it actually uploaded - 1767 - * [O] [Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Castor](launch/launch/Codrin-castor/002) - Codrin#Castor writes eir thoughts on why Dear may have uploaded (showing divergences). - 3488 + * [X] [Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Castor](launch/launch/Codrin-castor/002) - Codrin#Castor writes eir thoughts on why Dear may have uploaded (showing divergences). - 3488 * [O] [Launch: phys-side: Douglas](launch/phys/Douglas/004) - May had responded immediately, ofc, but asked about life on earth (hinting she uploaded ~time of Michelle), reminisces about childhood - 4738 * [O] [Launch: sys-side: Ioan](launch/sys/Ioan/004) - Ioan interviews May about why she stayed behind, date of upload, thoughts on not telling Douglas re: herself as Michelle - 2725 * [O] [Secession: phys-side: Yared](secession/phys/Yared/004) - another change from Yosef, Yared starts to actually kind of believe that this is a good idea, considers L5 option - 2196 diff --git a/writing/post-self/toledot/launch/launch/Codrin-castor/002.md b/writing/post-self/toledot/launch/launch/Codrin-castor/002.md index 6663f2a5..4ac3fa08 100644 --- a/writing/post-self/toledot/launch/launch/Codrin-castor/002.md +++ b/writing/post-self/toledot/launch/launch/Codrin-castor/002.md @@ -32,7 +32,7 @@ It wasn't that the fox was hurting em. It was a delightful partner, kind and con It was just a lot. -The first time that Codrin had stepped away from the house when Dear was being a lot, the fox had gone into a small sulk, sending Codrin a curt apology via sensorium message and not responding when Codrin said that ey'd be back in a bit. They had soothed ruffled fur over dinner now. When Codrin stepped out to take a break from a very intense fennec, ey would leave with a reassurance and still take comfort in the loneliness of the prairie. +The first time that Codrin had stepped away from the house when Dear was being a lot, the fox had gone into a small sulk, sending Codrin a curt apology via sensorium message and not responding when Codrin said that ey'd be back in a bit. They had soothed ruffled fur over dinner. Now, when Codrin stepped out to take a break from a very intense fennec, ey would leave with a reassurance and still take comfort in the loneliness of the prairie. Dear had been a lot today. Codrin had suggested that they do an interview together after Ioan had sent both launches --- Castor and Pollux --- a note asking that Codrin include the trio's reasons for leaving as well as those ey would be interviewing. @@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ Codrin had laughed, sipping eir own coffee. "I understand the impulse, believe m Ey could not place why that had bugged em so at the moment, but as it continued to snowball in eir mind over the next hour, picking up emotions as it went until it was an outsized lump tumbling around within em, ey had walked over to where the fox was blocking out stage diagrams of some sort, kissed it between the ears, and said that ey would be back soon. -During eir previous expeditions, ey had placed cairns at regularly spaced intervals with rocks pointing directions where ey had split off this way or that, so as ey walked from cairn to cairn, looking for new ways to explore, ey thought about the conversation. +During eir previous expeditions, ey had begun placing cairns at regularly spaced intervals with rocks pointing directions where ey had split off this way or that, so as ey walked from cairn to cairn, looking for new ways to explore, ey thought about the conversation. "That was such a dramatic thing to say," ey said, sorting through eir reasoning aloud. "If it simply didn't want to talk about it, it would equivocate or tell me to fuck off. So why be so obviously sly about it?" @@ -62,13 +62,13 @@ The rocks did not reply. Ey set down another marker stone atop the cairn and wal The grass did not answer, only rustled and tugged at the hem of eir sarong. -"It prides itself on deliberate, and it *knows* that I know that, so why did it say that in particular? Am I supposed to ask it? Am I supposed to feel curious or chagrined or envious?" +"It prides itself on being deliberate, and it *knows* that I know that, so why did it say that in particular? Am I supposed to ask it? Am I supposed to feel curious or chagrined or envious?" The wind only murmured to em. Ey walked out into the grass and focused on letting the litany of questions go, counting eir steps up to one hundred, where ey paused to build a new cairn out of flat clods of dirt and stones dug up from between the tussocks of grass. The sensation of the dirt gritting against eir palms, of the way it got trapped beneath eir fingernails, anchored em to a moment in time, rather than spinning off into abstract thought. -"I won't push it, not yet," ey murmured to the pile when it had reached above the thin stalks of grass. "But that does sound like an invitation, doesn't it? *That is by design.* Like an invitation to play, or tease the reasons out of it." +"I won't push it. Not yet," ey murmured to the pile when it had reached above the thin stalks of grass. "But that does sound like an invitation, doesn't it? *That is by design.* Like an invitation to play, or tease the reasons out of it." Ey frowned and pushed emself up to standing again. "Or maybe not." @@ -80,11 +80,11 @@ The rest of eir mind, though, continued to prowl through conversations that ey h Ey held onto that thought as ey walked another hundred paces to where ey would plant the next cairn. Soon enough, however many decades or centuries in the future, the prairie would be dotted with regularly spaced piles of rocks and dirt for miles spreading out from the house, and they would become as much a regular part of the landscape as the prairie itself, rather than this new thing that Codrin had introduced. -As ey worked, digging up rocks and roots, ey tried to think of what all Dear might have to feel guilty about or regret over. Ey knew that that business with Qoheleth had come with some regret. It had mentioned more than once while Codrin worked on the story that had come out of that experience that it wished it had pushed harder to learn more before trying to pull the whole clade together. +As ey worked, digging up rocks and roots, ey tried to think of what all Dear might have to feel guilty about or regret over. Ey knew that that experience with Qoheleth had come with some regret. It had mentioned more than once while Codrin worked on the story that had come out of that experience that it wished it had pushed harder to learn more before trying to pull the whole clade together. But it had stopped talking about regrets once the project had been completed. It had been happy with that, and it had giggled and clapped its paws at the spike in reputation it had gained the newly-formed Bălan clade. -*"See what I corrupting influence I have had on you?"* it had said. +*"See what a corrupting influence I have had on you?"* it had said. "I'm a ways off from having a clade listing like you, Dear." Ey had pulled up the reputation listing for Dear, and then for the entirety of the Ode clade, and they had both marveled at the numbers. @@ -92,7 +92,7 @@ But it had stopped talking about regrets once the project had been completed. It Was it something to do with the clade? The Odists had been around long enough --- what had Dear said? After Secession? 2130 something? Still almost two centuries --- that there was certainly enmity between the various factions, perhaps there was some regret there. -Ey sat before the cairn so that it came up to eye level, and the long, slow sunset begin. +Ey sat before the cairn so that it came up to eye level, and watched the long, slow sunset begin. Perhaps it was regret or guilt, perhaps not. The fox had attacked the idea of leaving, of truly leaving the L5 System and leaving no fork behind, with a ferocity that even Dear's partner admitted was somewhat unusual, as though it had *needed* to leave, to escape something. @@ -104,7 +104,7 @@ All the same, eir frustration had burned itself out, and all that remained was e As the sky purpled, Codrin sighed and stood up once more, stretching and beginning the long walk home. Ey could just arrive there, but the walk felt necessary to process so many strangely-shaped thoughts. -Dear and its partner were waiting to greet em when ey returned home, each with a kiss in turn. The sun had slid fully below the endlessly distant horizon, and while ey had spent full nights out in the prairie once or twice, those had been preceded by arguments (both of which had been fallout from eir newness to the concept of relationships), and since this one had not, the two had started to get worried. +Dear and its partner were waiting to greet em when ey returned home, each with a kiss in turn. The sun had slid fully below the endlessly distant horizon, and while ey had spent full nights out in the prairie twice during these excursions, those had been preceded by arguments (both of which had been fallout from eir newness to the concept of relationships), and since this one had not, the two had started to get concerned. "Dinner's ready whenever you are." @@ -128,7 +128,7 @@ It looked proud, bowing extravagantly and leading them into the dining room, whe Dear, having clearly waited until the food had disappeared, finally spoke in a tone that told Codrin that it had been scripting the line since ey had returned home. *"Now, will you tell us why you went for your walkabout? Was it just for alone-time, or did it have to do with where our conversation ended this morning? I have thought myself in circles about that, but want to hear your take before I burden you with mine."* -Codrin stalled for time by pouring emself some wine, trying to decide where to begin. "Alright. I can accept that you have your reasons for leaving the System behind. I think all three of us do. I would like to know why, but at your own pace. I had a thought out there, though. When did you say Michelle uploaded?" +"Alright." Codrin stalled for time by pouring emself some wine, trying to decide where to begin. "I can accept that you have your reasons for leaving the System behind. I think all three of us do. I would like to know why, but at your own pace. I had a thought out there, though. When did you say Michelle uploaded?" The fox very carefully set its wine glass down. Codrin noticed that it's paw had begun to shake. *"Did you go looking?"* it asked. @@ -158,17 +158,17 @@ Ey coughed on eir next sip of wine. "What? You were? Uh...holy shit." Ey looked Codrin nodded dumbly. -*"We pooled our money and uploaded together. He was also on the Council."* Dear sighed and rotated its wine glass anxiously on the tabletop. *"Michelle soon became unable to participate in the council --- you saw her before she...before she quit --- so she forked the first ten lines, dumping a good chunk of her reputation into the process, and talked the council into letting them sit in her place."* +*"We pooled our money and uploaded together. He was also on the Council."* Dear sighed and rotated its wine glass anxiously on the tabletop. *"Michelle soon became unable to participate in the council --- you saw her before she...before she quit --- so she forked the first ten lines, dumping much of her reputation into the process, and talked the council into letting them sit in her place."* "So it became the Council of Eighteen? Er...Seventeen? I'm realizing how little I know about the Council." *"No, no. Not at first, at least. The deal she struck with the other members of the Council was that her responsibility would be split evenly among the ten. At first, The Only Time I Know My True Name Is When I Dream was the only one to sit council, then as her responsibilities to the secession process began to grow, more of Michelle's ongoing projects were given to further first lines."* -"You said not at first. Is that how she --- the Odists --- wound up with more than an equal share of responsibility?" +"You said not at first. Did she --- the Odists --- wound up with more than an equal share of responsibility?" -Dear nodded. *"It was slow and subtle, and, at first, unintentional. She was--"* +Dear nodded. *"It was slow and subtle, and, initially, unintentional. She was--"* -"'At first'?" +"'Initially'?" It sighed. *"This is the part that keeps me tight-lipped."* @@ -186,7 +186,7 @@ Codrin nodded for it to continue. Codrin shook eir head. "At least, I don't know the acronym." -*"It stood for Direct Democracy Representative. It was a silly idea to allow for members of the public to have direct debates and to vote on referenda."* Dear's expression soured. *"A terrible idea, I should say. It is what lead to the lost debacle, and we learned nothing from it. It was still heavily used when Michelle uploaded, and the debates surrounding individual rights on the DDR were heated. Some wanted to treat it --- the System, that is --- as essentially an employer, having those who uploaded be treated as employees who must work to earn their place. This, I think, stemmed from the fact that many who uploaded were middle or upper middle class. The wealthy remained, preferring to keep their wealth, and the lower classes could not afford it.* +*"It stood for Direct Democracy Representative. It was a silly idea to allow for members of the public to have direct debates and to vote on referenda."* Dear's expression soured. *"A terrible idea, I should say. It is what lead to the lost debacle, and we learned nothing from it. It was still heavily used during Secession, and the debates surrounding individual rights on the DDR were heated. Some wanted to treat it --- the System, that is --- as essentially an employer, having those who uploaded be treated as employees who must work to earn their place. This, I think, stemmed from the fact that many who uploaded were middle or upper middle class. The wealthy remained, preferring to keep their wealth, and the lower classes could not afford it.* *"Some who uploaded agreed, at least after a fashion. They suspected that they would be brains-in-a-jar who would be able to devote themselves entirely to their science or art. Those phys-side wished to use uploads to drive factories or fly planes or what have you. Menial labor. Capitalism is ever the opportunist, and we were seen as tools, as was any employee."* @@ -194,7 +194,7 @@ Codrin shook eir head. "At least, I don't know the acronym." "Capitalism was never one to let impossibility stand in its way," Dear's partner laughed. -*"Yes, well, there were at least still those phys-side who wished to help. Dreamers to the last."* It smiled fondly, lifting its glass to swirl the wine within. *"Many of them uploaded. You have doubtless talked to a few without knowing. I don't believe Yared --- he was our biggest champion --- decided on joining the Launch. Or perhaps he did. If he did not, I will nudge Ioan to him if May Then My Name does not do so first. If he did, you may yet meet him."* +*"Yes, well, there were at least still those phys-side who wished to help. Dreamers to the last."* It smiled fondly, lifting its glass to swirl the wine within. *"Many of them uploaded. You have doubtless talked to a few without knowing. I don't know if Yared --- he was our biggest champion --- decided on joining the Launch. Perhaps he did. If he did not, I will nudge Ioan to him if May Then My Name does not do so first. If he did, you may yet meet him."* "Dear," Codrin began, softening eir tone. "You don't have to answer this, but do you have regrets about this period in your life?"