update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/037.md

@@ -80,11 +80,11 @@ Ey nodded.
 
 Sasha nodded, hesitated, then said, "On that note, are you okay?"
 
-"I...well," she began, sighed, and shook her head. "I am upset, and I am disappointed that I am upset. I was so ready to be done with hatred, but I am stuck with yet more of it. More than the experience with Zacharias itself, that is what led to the past few days of tears. I thought that I was done."
+"I...well," she began, sighed, and shook her head. "I am upset, and I am disappointed that I am upset. I was so ready to be done with hatred, but I am stuck with yet more of it. More than the experience with Zacharias itself, that is what led to the past few days of tears, even if it was In Dreams that kicked it off. I thought that I was done."
 
 "I understand. I would like to talk with you about him at some point --- nothing serious, just strategizing future meltdowns of his. Ioan said he kept trying to force merges on you just to get your attention."
 
-May winced. "Ugh, yeah. I have never felt something so intensely...I do not know. It felt like an invasion of my personal space on an intangible level. What were you thinking?"
+May winced. "Ugh, yeah. I have never felt something so intensely...I do not know. It felt like a violation of my personal space on an intangible level. What were you thinking?"
 
 Sasha tilted her head. "Now? I was going to suggest in a few days time, once you were feeling better."
 
@@ -118,7 +118,7 @@ They sat in silence, drinking their coffee and eating rolls with butter and hone
 
 "Really? No bigger and brighter things?"
 
-She laughed and leaned over to dot her nose on eir cheek. "This *is* bigger and brighter things, dear."
+She laughed and leaned over to touch her nose to eir cheek. "This *is* bigger and brighter things, dear."
 
 "Well, I'm sure we'll talk about it plenty, but I see no reason not to keep your room about. I don't know what you overflowing will look like, but if it involves one third solitude and one third getting lost walking sims, I don't imagine you'll be around all the time."
 
@@ -132,7 +132,7 @@ She laughed and leaned over to dot her nose on eir cheek. "This *is* bigger and
 
 "And I am not impinging too much on your and May's relationship?" she asked, holding out her paw for one of eir pebbles. "I am asking her, too, and we will continue to talk together, but I also want to ask you directly."
 
-Ey shrugged, handing over the pebble. "I don't think so. So long as we can still have time to ourselves when we need, I'll be happy."
+Ey smiled, handing over the pebble. "I don't think so. So long as we can still have time to ourselves when we need, I'll be happy."
 
 She tossed the pebble out into the water. "Of course, dear."
 
@@ -164,7 +164,7 @@ She poked at eir side with a claw before slouching against em. "You do not need
 
 Her tone wasn't upset or dismissive, but was assertive enough that ey dropped the point. "Well, writing sounds like a good career shift, then."
 
-"Says the writer." She laughed.
+"Says the writer."
 
 "I liked what you've gotten down so far, and I have a few notes. We'll talk about it when we're back at a desk, though."
 
@@ -186,7 +186,7 @@ Ey shook eir head. "Right, sorry. I trust you."
 
 "I agree with what May said, Ioan. Should I want anything beyond that, I will come by it earnestly."
 
-"I appreciate that." Ey hugged an arm around her. Ey was grateful for her looking out at the lake rather than at em, given the heat ey could feel rising to eir cheeks. "While we're being honest, though, I think we're sort of in the same boat, honestly, given what you share with May. We can both imagine that, but not necessarily the path from here to there."
+"I appreciate that." Ey hugged an arm around her. Ey was grateful for her looking out at the lake rather than at em, given the heat ey could feel rising to eir cheeks. "While we're being honest, though, I think we're sort of in the same boat, honestly, given what you share with May. We can both imagine that, but not necessarily the path from here to there. May called it 'the concept versus the mechanics'."
 
 "Precisely. I imagine the same applies to you, that you will come by it honestly."
 
@@ -198,12 +198,12 @@ Ey nodded. "Basically. Is it something you'd want?"
 
 They fell into silence again. Part of em was itching for more pebbles to toss into the water, but ey was too comfortable to get up to collect more from the beach.
 
-"That is the conflict I left from May," Sasha murmured. "I kept some doubt from End Waking, enough to keep me grounded without keeping me torn. From May, I am keeping a little bit of overwhelming emotions. The possibility of simply falling for everyone around me is alluring. I can taste it in the memories, like a little bit of saccharine. But I am keeping a little bit of doubt from True Name so that it remains a new thing for me. I am of three minds Like a tree In which there are three blackbirds."
+"That is the conflict I left from May," Sasha murmured. "I kept some doubt from End Waking, enough to keep me grounded without keeping me torn. From May, I am keeping a little bit of overwhelming emotions. The possibility of simply falling for everyone around me is alluring. I can taste it in the memories, like a little bit of saccharine, gritty on the tongue. But I am keeping a little bit of doubt from True Name so that it remains a new thing for me. I am of three minds Like a tree In which there are three blackbirds."
 
 Ey turned her words over in eir mind, along with whatever snippet of verse it was she'd quoted. The thought was complete. Nothing ey could respond with would add to it. It was curious, and hinted at things beyond eir ken, but it was complete.
 
 Instead, ey said, "You're a good person, Sasha. All three of you are good people."
 
-She laughed. "And you, dear, are a dork. But come, my tail is falling asleep, and my fork's conversation with May has wrapped up."
+She laughed. "And you, dear, are a dork. But come, my tail is falling asleep, and my fork's conversation with May has wrapped up and the one you love misses you greatly."
 
 They walked back, then, hand in paw, following the trail as it dipped down to the water or ducked up into the trees. Back home, back to May, back to whatever it was that life had become.