From 6809b334a0c9f77b04a0aca837560a909f2bb6a5 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Madison Scott-Clary Date: Wed, 26 May 2021 17:45:05 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] update from sparkleup --- writing/sawtooth/limerent-object/71.md | 6 ++++++ 1 file changed, 6 insertions(+) diff --git a/writing/sawtooth/limerent-object/71.md b/writing/sawtooth/limerent-object/71.md index 2723854a..28ad1095 100644 --- a/writing/sawtooth/limerent-object/71.md +++ b/writing/sawtooth/limerent-object/71.md @@ -30,6 +30,12 @@ I remember the surety of knowledge after that, that the only one I was hurting t Liking someone isn't a sin. It cannot be, must not be. But here I am, wallowing in my own pain, and that is where I veer close to sin. +Why must we Catholics wrap our every action up in shame? There must be some root for some bad thing in my life. If I am depressed, it must be for some reason, for something that I have done, yes? If I struggle this much for liking someone, clearly there must be something shameful about that, yes? That sense of dread, that sour, ashen taste in the mouth, that is a sign from God that we have strayed from the path he has set before us, yes? + +I'm a *therapist*. I should *not* be thinking this way. It's not just wrong, but it bears the weight of hypocrisy. + +Even as a Christian, there is little enough reason for me to think this way. + I don't know. I'm spinning my wheels, talking in circles. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to go from here. To name a feeling may be to understand it, but understanding has gotten me nowhere, has purchased me nothing but a deeper ache in my gut, and now I must feed my desires all over again. [^codependence]: I suspect that their relationship is codependent, as I think that her husband gets as much out of taking care of her as she gets out of him taking the lead. However, I don't think that it's abusive or manipulative in anyway, simply that this is the way that their relationship works. If there is any negative aspect to the codependency, that, I suspect, is egosyntonic.