update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/neviim/ioan/010.md

@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 > *Convergence T-minus 0 days, 16 hours, 21 minutes*  
 > *(Castor--Lagrange transmission delay: 7 days, 5 hours, 31 minutes)*
     
-The dinner that Do I Know God After The End Waking had prepared for them was...rustic. That was the first term that ey had come up with to describe it, and no matter how else Ioan tried to nail it down further, ey was left with little else that fit.
+The dinner that Do I Know God After The End Waking had prepared for them was...rustic. That was the first term that ey had come up with to describe it, and no matter how else Ioan tried to refine it, ey was left with little else that fit.
 
 It was a venison stew with parsnips and onions, thickened with tack and stretched with some barleycorns. 'Woodsy' was not quite the right word, and neither was 'simple', for the skunk had spent the better part of an hour doting over the cast-iron pot he'd hung over a low fire, adding salt in what Ioan felt were miserly pinches, as well as pepper and nutmeg as though they were the most precious items in the world to him.
 
@@ -107,7 +107,7 @@ The skunk shrugged. "That is not enough to stand in the way of my desire. Would
 
 End Waking nodded, speaking toward the fire. "And so I screamed and I ran, and when I looked back, the bar was gone, and when I looked forward again, there it was. Had I turned? Was the world so small? The words came unbidden, and with each one that left my mouth, a cord that tethered me to reality snapped, and I grew lighter and lighter, and I feared I would float up into the sky, into the sun."
 
-"And through it all, time was unmoored and set adrift." May shook her head. "Sixteen hours, twenty three minutes is what they said, but I lived lifetime after lifetime beneath that sun. The light thrummed and vibrated around me, and I lived and died and lived again. I watched eternity fall away and rot at my feet."
+"And through it all, time was unmoored and set adrift," May said quietly. "Sixteen hours, twenty three minutes is what they said, but I lived lifetime after lifetime beneath that sun. The light thrummed and vibrated around me, and I lived and died and lived again. I watched eternity fall away and rot at my feet."
 
 "Or perhaps it was just an instant," A Finger Pointing said.
 

writing/post-self/neviim/local/codrin/009.md

@@ -10,15 +10,15 @@ Ey initially found it strange that added downtime would make the their party mor
 
 And through it all, True Name seemed to be trying to match the firstracers for patient expressions.
 
-It wasn't until that second lunch that the skunk showed any breaks in that patience. She picked up a plate piled high with salad, brought it over to the table in the center of their rest area then stepped back a few paces, where she activated a cone of silence. She brought her tail around toward her front, held in both paws, and buried her face in it. Ey could only assume by the sudden way that she bent at the waist and pinned her ears back that this was done to muffle a scream or some violent obscenity.
+It wasn't until that second day's lunch that the skunk showed any breaks in that patience. She picked up a plate piled high with salad, brought it over to the table in the center of their rest area then stepped back a few paces, where she activated a cone of silence. She brought her tail around toward her front, held in both paws, and buried her face in it. Ey could only assume by the sudden way that she bent at the waist and pinned her ears back that this was done to muffle a scream or some violent obscenity.
 
 Then, as though nothing had happened, she sat down to eat.
 
 Lunch after that had been filled with laughter and truly terrible jokes. Sarah, it turned out, collected them, and the delegates unanimously voted hers the worst.
 
-All throughout, though, Codrin couldn't shake the image of True Name throwing a very short, very tightly controlled tantrum. The sight of her letting loose so strong an emotion had immediately knocked em back to an interview decades ago, now, where she'd wound em up enough that ey'd started shouting at her in her own office, then bounced em from her sim.
+All throughout, though, Codrin couldn't shake the image of True Name throwing a very short, very tightly controlled tantrum. The sight of her letting loose so strong an emotion had immediately knocked em back to an interview --- decades ago, now --- where she'd wound em up enough that ey'd started shouting at her in her own office, then bounced em from her sim.
 
-That, ey'd later understood, had been intentional on her part. It had been a way for her to spin her story in a very carefully crafted way. It set it to a level that sat just on the other side of the line between plausible and absurd. It'd wrapped em up in a story that was just a little too much to be believe, and the end result was a softening of the impact of the *History*.
+That, ey'd later understood, had been intentional on her part. It had been a way for her to spin her story in a very carefully crafted way. It set it to a level that sat just on the other side of the line between plausible and absurd. It had wrapped em up in a story that was just a little too much to believe, and the end result was a softening of the impact of the *History*.
 
 Nothing about that experience had been done with a wink and a nudge, just as nothing about this had contained any such acknowledgement that it was intentional, but ey was nothing if not primed to expect her actions to be based in manipulation. There was a non-zero chance that this tantrum had been more for the benefit of the other delegates than anything. It was a way to show that she, too, was frustrated, just as the pun-off that had followed had been a way to loosen everyone up by lampshading the absurdity of the whole venture.
 
@@ -34,7 +34,7 @@ Ey frowned and set up another cone of silence for the two of them. "I was just t
 
 "I don't think it was that extreme. Maybe some part of her was trying to build camaraderie with us by doing so, but I'm wondering if it was more that she was trying to downplay the news from Artemis."
 
-Codrin sat up straighter. "Wait, you mean the Odists struggling over there?"
+Codrin sat up straighter. "You mean the Odists struggling over there?"
 
 She nodded. "It sounds like moving them to a unison room is helping, but they're still struggling with that...what did Codrin#Artemis call it? The omnipresence of time?"