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update from sparkleup

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Madison Scott-Clary 2024-01-09 12:54:29 -08:00
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46
writing/post-self/marsh/018.md
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@ -90,29 +90,29 @@ Beholden seemed focused on straightening out Motes' mane --- perhaps a little mo
"Alright, thanks. I'll just read it to you, it's fairly short." Feeling a little silly just staring off into space to read, I summoned up the letter on a sheet of paper and began to read.
Reed,
Words cannot express how glad I am to hear from you! Over the last few weeks, we've heard that they were finally on track to start bringing Lagrange back online, and then we finally got the notice that the System had finally come back up and that they'd gotten the non-recoverable losses down to 1%. We had a small party here with all the Marshans here --- there's a new one, by the way, Hyacinth. They'll write you their own letter.
We weren't the only ones, either. Every one of us was invited to no less than three other parties celebrating the news. You may be out of reach for those of us on the launches, but we do still love you all, and deeply. Thinking we'd lost you for good was one hell of a way to prove that to ourselves.
Over the next week, we started to hear from more and more people as news of their clades back on Lagrange began to trickle in. Most of those we talked to spoke of losses of tracking or tasked instances. No small pain, of course, as some of those tracking instances were tracking things like relationships, but a few days later, we heard an instance of first one missing cladist, then another. A friend we made after Launch was inconsolable after learning that he just no longer existed on Lagrange in any form. He had had a clade of two, and both were wiped out, plus all three of their tasked instances. The Arondight clade on Lagrange is no more.
Our anxiety began to grow without hearing from you. We knew you were busy, at least: news of Sedge working as hard as she was reached even us in those first days. Still, I wish you'd written sooner.
To finally get a letter that said that I was dead, however, made me feel in a way I can't even begin to describe. I was sad, because of course I was --- someone I knew and talked with with some regularity was now dead. I was stunned, because of course I was --- the disaster was now very immediate and real, affecting my own clade.
But what am I to do with the knowledge that it was specifically me that was dead? You live on, as do Lily and Cress, Rush and Sedge and Tule, but the root of your clade is now gone. You're now six instead of seven. You're now a clade without a root instance. *We're* a clade without a root instance. I exist, sure, as does Marsh#Pollux, but our down-tree does not. We came from them, didn't we?
Here I went on for some length about what it must mean for a clade to be without a root, about how you're now three completely separate clades, unrelated. That's still true, in a way. It's true in the clade sense, in the *tree* sense, but apparently no longer in the mechanical sense. This cross-tree merging! It sounds like it's going to change everything. No more merging down only. 'Cross-tree' means less now; sure, there's the lack of shared memory, but no longer are they out of reach of merging.
I don't blame you at all for what you all did to create Anubias. I know that it hurt Vos and Pierre, and I hope that, some time in the future, they can bring themselves to forgive you. But honestly, I would have done the same. I would've done everything in my power to reach for some bit of the old to bring back to life. I know that Anubias is *not* me, that they can never be the root of the clade, but you did what you felt you had to to try and make your lives more complete.
I hope there are more letters on the way, but please write me as soon as you get this. You'll have had eight months of getting used to life without our root instance. You'll have had eight months without Marsh, and I want to know how it feels. I want to know how to get over this very real, but very strange grief.
Until then, you all have all our love. I'm glad to hear that, even in the midst of this, that love is still a thing and that you and Dry Grass are getting closer. Keep yourselves safe, and stay in touch. We'll do the same.
Marsh#Castor
> Reed,
>
> Words cannot express how glad I am to hear from you! Over the last few weeks, we've heard that they were finally on track to start bringing Lagrange back online, and then we finally got the notice that the System had finally come back up and that they'd gotten the non-recoverable losses down to 1%. We had a small party here with all the Marshans here --- there's a new one, by the way, Hyacinth. They'll write you their own letter.
>
> We weren't the only ones, either. Every one of us was invited to no less than three other parties celebrating the news. You may be out of reach for those of us on the launches, but we do still love you all, and deeply. Thinking we'd lost you for good was one hell of a way to prove that to ourselves.
>
> Over the next week, we started to hear from more and more people as news of their clades back on Lagrange began to trickle in. Most of those we talked to spoke of losses of tracking or tasked instances. No small pain, of course, as some of those tracking instances were tracking things like relationships, but a few days later, we heard an instance of first one missing cladist, then another. A friend we made after Launch was inconsolable after learning that he just no longer existed on Lagrange in any form. He had had a clade of two, and both were wiped out, plus all three of their tasked instances. The Arondight clade on Lagrange is no more.
>
> Our anxiety began to grow without hearing from you. We knew you were busy, at least: news of Sedge working as hard as she was reached even us in those first days. Still, I wish you'd written sooner.
>
> To finally get a letter that said that I was dead, however, made me feel in a way I can't even begin to describe. I was sad, because of course I was --- someone I knew and talked with with some regularity was now dead. I was stunned, because of course I was --- the disaster was now very immediate and real, affecting my own clade.
>
> But what am I to do with the knowledge that it was specifically me that was dead? You live on, as do Lily and Cress, Rush and Sedge and Tule, but the root of your clade is now gone. You're now six instead of seven. You're now a clade without a root instance. *We're* a clade without a root instance. I exist, sure, as does Marsh#Pollux, but our down-tree does not. We came from them, didn't we?
>
> Here I went on for some length about what it must mean for a clade to be without a root, about how you're now three completely separate clades, unrelated. That's still true, in a way. It's true in the clade sense, in the *tree* sense, but apparently no longer in the mechanical sense. This cross-tree merging! It sounds like it's going to change everything. No more merging down only. 'Cross-tree' means less now; sure, there's the lack of shared memory, but no longer are they out of reach of merging.
>
> I don't blame you at all for what you all did to create Anubias. I know that it hurt Vos and Pierre, and I hope that, some time in the future, they can bring themselves to forgive you. But honestly, I would have done the same. I would've done everything in my power to reach for some bit of the old to bring back to life. I know that Anubias is *not* me, that they can never be the root of the clade, but you did what you felt you had to to try and make your lives more complete.
>
> I hope there are more letters on the way, but please write me as soon as you get this. You'll have had eight months of getting used to life without our root instance. You'll have had eight months without Marsh, and I want to know how it feels. I want to know how to get over this very real, but very strange grief.
>
> Until then, you all have all our love. I'm glad to hear that, even in the midst of this, that love is still a thing and that you and Dry Grass are getting closer. Keep yourselves safe, and stay in touch. We'll do the same.
>
> Marsh#Castor
When I finished reading, our little crowd sat in silence, each thinking their own thoughts.

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writing/post-self/marsh/index.md
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@ -43,8 +43,8 @@ NB: It's frankly astonishing how few cats there are in this story. Fix that.
* [o] [015](015) --- Date with Dry Grass, talking about reconstruction --- 2002
* [o] [016](016) --- Discussing social changes both phys- and sys-side, improvements on the table, someone digging into Artemisian archives, Reed decides to go through with cross-tree merge --- 3975
* [o] [017](017) --- It doesn't work, there is only them, no Marsh, Vos gets *very mad*, clade admits it's time to start grieving proper --- 3619
* [.] Epilogue --- Life after
* [.] [018](018) --- (~8 months later, a letter from Marsh#Castor or #Pollux expressing grief, coming to terms with letting go of the past, conversation 2 with A Finger Pointing (and other Odists) about being a clade without a root)
* [o] Epilogue --- Life after
* [o] [018](018) --- (~8 months later, a letter from Marsh#Castor or #Pollux expressing grief, coming to terms with letting go of the past, conversation 2 with A Finger Pointing (and other Odists) about being a clade without a root)
## Questions and notes