update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/022.md

@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 
 Neither Debarre nor End Waking had visited Michelle's field in decades, and certainly not since it became Douglas's. End Waking had last seen it on the day that she had quit in 2306, and had had little reason to return since.
 
-It had been much longer for Debarre, going clear back into the 2200s, back when Michelle and Sasha were still alive and coherent enough to speak to without getting overwhelmed into silence every few minutes. The memories of her were painful enough as it was, that last visit with her in End Waking's forest especially, that he'd never had the courage to come back.
+It had been much longer for Debarre, going clear back into the 2200s, back when Michelle and Sasha were still alive and coherent enough to speak to without getting overwhelmed into silence every few minutes. The memories of her were painful enough as it was --- that last visit with her in End Waking's forest especially --- that he'd never had the courage to come back.
 
 Given how much the clade that she'd left behind was struggling, though, it felt fitting to accept when Douglas invited him and End Waking over to talk with Ioan.
 
@@ -36,7 +36,7 @@ The weasel and skunk both looked at each other, ears splayed.
 
 "I'm the baby, I think," Douglas said. "I'm seventy-two."
 
-The skunk grinned. "So young! Debarre and I are both over two-hundred sixty. Still, I am pretty sure that we can acknowledge that we can acknowledge the existence of sex, is what I mean."
+The skunk grinned. "So young! Debarre and I both have two centuries on you. Still, I am pretty sure that we can acknowledge the existence of sex, is what I mean."
 
 "And it doesn't exactly sound like she's a stranger to that, herself, anyway."
 
@@ -64,19 +64,19 @@ End Waking nodded. "She did mention being torn, yes. She wanted to kick her out
 
 "And how're you taking it?" Debarre asked. Something about Ioan --- eir posture, eir face, something --- made it seem like this was the question ey was dreading the most.
 
-There was a long silence before Ioan answered. "It's really grating on me. I don't even know why, either. I think it honestly would help True Name in the end if it were just May merging down, but having that be the case with her memories of us together feels like...well, it kind of makes me jealous. Those are our memories that we made together. Our fights and good times, our affection--"
+There was a long silence before Ioan answered. "It's really getting to me. I don't even know why, either. I think it honestly would help True Name in the end if it were just May merging down, but having that be the case with her memories of us together feels like...well, it kind of makes me jealous. Those are our memories that we made together. Our fights and good times, our affection--"
 
-"Probably most of the memories, there," End Waking stage-whispered, getting a smirk out of Ioan.
+"Probably most of the memories, there," Debarre stage-whispered, getting a smirk out of Ioan.
 
-"Yeah. Our affection and our sex, too, for that matter. Suddenly, True Name has all that. I think it also started grating on me because of how real End Waking's was. It wouldn't just be a library for her perusal, but she will have actually lived them. She will have actually--" Ey frowned, as thought digging for the words.
+"Yeah. Our affection and our sex, too, for that matter. Suddenly, True Name has all that. I think it also started grating on me because of how real End Waking's was. It wouldn't just be a library for her perusal, but she will have actually lived them. She will have actually--" Ey frowned, as though digging for the words.
 
 "She'll have actually loved you, maybe?" Debarre guessed.
 
 Eir features fell and ey sighed. "Yeah. That. Putting it that way makes it feel terrible, but it's exactly that."
 
-"I was pulling back when she and Zacharias were getting close," End Waking said,sounding thoughtful. "And I have been her. We were both Michelle. I know that she is capable of experiencing romantic feelings. They will not be alien to her."
+"I was pulling back when she and Zacharias were getting close," End Waking said, sounding thoughtful. "And I have been her. We were both Michelle. I know that she is capable of experiencing romantic feelings. They will not be alien to her."
 
-"And now she's been you," Debarre added. "And you've got romantic feelings, too. At least, I hope so."
+"And now she's been *you,*" Debarre added. "And you've got romantic feelings, too. At least, I hope so."
 
 End Waking pushed him over onto the ground. "If you imply that I do not have romantic feelings for you again, I will make you hunt our meals for a week."
 
@@ -112,7 +112,7 @@ Douglas nodded. "Well, that bit I believe. Think that contributed to her overflo
 
 "Almost certainly, yeah. Correct me if I'm wrong, End Waking, but while I don't think it's solely tied to external events, they can have an effect on it."
 
-The skunk nodded. He'd started panting in the heat of the sun, so it took him a moment to reply. "It just comes over us like a wave. Some of us more quickly than others. It is slower for me than for either of them, I believe."
+The skunk nodded. He'd started panting in the heat of the sun, so it took him a moment to reply. "It just comes over us like a wave. Some of us more quickly than others. It is slower in onset for me than for either of them, I believe."
 
 Debarre chimed in. "I usually have a few days warning. I've gotten mine already and was planning on heading out today, but we both wanted to come, anyway."
 
@@ -130,7 +130,7 @@ The weasel shrugged. "No, it's fine. E.W. and I have talked about it, and I get
 
 "I'm sure there's shitloads of people in love with May Then My Name," Debarre said, laughing. "But she's good at having that conversation, and you're both good at talking, so."
 
-"Too good, perhaps." End Waking stood. "I am overheating and feeling restless, so I am going to return to the forest. Ioan, I do wish you the best, and I would like you to keep in touch as you are able. I am concerned about your partner and for True Name, in my own way. Please keep yourself safe so that you can keep the both of them safe in turn."
+"Too good, perhaps." End Waking stood. "I am overheating and feeling restless, so I am going to return to the forest. Ioan, I do wish you the best, and I would like you to keep in touch as you are able. I am concerned about your partner, as well as for True Name, in my own way. Please keep yourself safe so that you can keep the both of them safe in turn."
 
 Ioan nodded and stood as well to bow to the skunk. "Thanks. It really does mean a lot. I'll keep you in the loop, if nothing else."
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/023.md

@@ -74,7 +74,7 @@ They laughed.
 
 "And when it was both? When she was in flux, or whatever?"
 
-"Then she was just tired," he said, grinning at memories. "But right, before I totally lose track, you asked how I feel. Uh, I guess I feel scared."
+"Then she was just tired," he said, smiling at memories. "But right, before I totally lose track, you asked how I feel. Uh, I guess I feel scared."
 
 Ioan furrowed eir brow. "Really?
 
@@ -82,7 +82,7 @@ Ioan furrowed eir brow. "Really?
 
 "Different how?" Douglas asked.
 
-"Like...still all worried, and still a little in shock, but also like a little bit of a load was taken off. I can't explain it, and we never really talked it through. It's not bad, but I can still tell."
+"Like...still all worried, and still a little in shock, but also like a little bit of a load was taken off. You heard him, he even said he's worried for her. I can't explain it, and we never really talked it through. It's not bad, but I can still tell."
 
 Ioan nodded and rubbed eir palms against the legs of eir slacks as ey always seemed to do during stressful conversations. "He did seem a bit freer of speech today," ey mused. "But that makes sense. He finally got to tell her how he feels, and they didn't even have to talk to each other."
 
@@ -118,7 +118,7 @@ Ey smiled gratefully. "I'm at least trying. One more question, then I think I ne
 
 "Do you think it was the right thing to do?"
 
-"Yeah," he said, surprising himself with how readily the answer came to him. "I don't think it would have worked if E.W. had just merged down without all the other dramatic shit. I think she would've just rejected it, or if she did accept the merge, just cherry-picked parts of it. As it is, though, with Jonas after her neck and May using all her whiles to convince both her and E.W., I think so. I don't honestly see her coming out of this still in power or whatever, but if she *does* make it out, I think it'll help her move on."
+"Yeah," he said, surprising himself with how readily the answer came to him. "I don't think it would have worked if E.W. had just merged down without all the other dramatic shit. I think she would've just rejected it, or if she did accept the merge, just cherry-picked parts of it. As it is, though, with Jonas after her neck and May using all her wiles to convince both her and E.W., I think so. I don't honestly see her coming out of this still in power or whatever, but if she *does* make it out, I think it'll help her move on."
 
 Ioan stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully, occasionally mumbling to emself.
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/024.md

@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ The walk and cry in the field before ey'd joined Douglas at his house had been n
 
 Then, ey lay down on the bed, still dressed and over the covers, and stared at the ceiling, trying to think about as little as possible.
 
-Ey was startled awake by a sensorium message. Grunting and wiping eir hands over eir face to try and bring reality back into focus through the nearly drunken haze of waking up from an ill-advised nap, ey set the message to running.
+Ey was startled awake by a sensorium message. Grunting and wiping eir hands over eir face to try and bring reality back into focus through the drunken haze of waking up from an ill-advised nap, ey set the message to running.
 
 "Good to hear from you, Ioan. I'll admit that I was pretty concerned when you canceled. I don't usually worry about you, but that's also the first time you've had to do so in nearly four years. I can be free whenever you need, and am happy to meet you either there or here. I don't have any problems holding off on details until a later date. Just let me know."
 
@@ -18,13 +18,13 @@ A quick shower had em feeling well enough to respond, and by the time she arrive
 
 Ey bowed. "Thanks for coming on such short notice."
 
-She offered em a hug. "It's alright. I figure if whatever is happening has you both canceling appointments and requesting short-notice ones, it's probably important."
+She offered em a hug. "It's alright. I figure if whatever is happening has all three of you canceling appointments and you requesting short-notice ones, it's probably important."
 
 "Sorry, just woke up, feeling rough," ey said, declining the hug. "But yeah. Important, overwhelming, dramatic. Would you be alright talking outside? That nap destroyed me and I'm still feeling disconnected from everything."
 
 "Works for me."
 
-"So, uh...well, where to start." Ey spoke haltingly, once she'd turned down the offer of coffee and they'd made their way out into the grass and light and blue skies. "Right. As of a few weeks ago, for reasons I can't get into just yet, True Name has been staying in an extra room we dug at the house. A few days ago--"
+"So, uh...well, where to start." Ey spoke haltingly, once they'd made their way out into the grass and light and blue skies. "Right. As of a few weeks ago, for reasons I can't get into just yet, True Name has been staying in an extra room we dug at the house. A few days ago--"
 
 "Whoa, wait. I know you said no specifics, but can you tell me a little more about that? I can't picture that working at *all*"
 
@@ -40,7 +40,7 @@ She nodded, gestured for em to continue.
 
 "That's good," she said. "Has it been helping, at least?"
 
-"If you'd asked me that a few days ago, I would have said yes, but now that I'm here and struggling to hold it together, I'm not so sure. I think I was just pushing it down without, I don't know, redirecting it or dealing with it."
+"If you'd asked me that a few days ago, I would have said yes, but now that I'm here and struggling to hold it together, I'm not so sure. I think I was just pushing it down without...I don't know, redirecting it or dealing with it."
 
 She nodded. "Alright. I want to come back to that, but I interrupted your overview. Can you tell me what else happened?"
 
@@ -66,7 +66,7 @@ Ey frowned and scuffed a heel through the grass. "I don't know, honestly. Again,
 
 "Does it bother you that she would have the memories, or are you worried about her having those emotions? Do you worry she'd start feeling about you the way that May Then My Name does?"
 
-"Well, shit," ey groaned. "I didn't even think about that. Like, we've talked about what her having memories of loving me would mean, but always past-tense. I didn't think about if she herself, she as True Name I mean, would pick those up as well. I have no clue. Maybe on some level I do, though. I like the way May feels about me. We've talked about jealousy a few times, and it often comes up that she feels devotion towards me, and I'm really not sure how I'd feel having that come from another, never mind one that I have as complicated a relationship with as I do with True Name."
+"Well, shit," ey groaned. "I didn't even think about that. Like, we've talked about what her having memories of loving me would mean, but always past-tense. I didn't think about if she herself --- she as True Name I mean --- would pick those up as well. I have no clue. Maybe on some level I do, though. I like the way May feels about me. We've talked about jealousy a few times, and it often comes up that she feels devotion towards me, and I'm really not sure how I'd feel having that come from another, never mind one that I have as complicated a relationship with as I do with True Name."
 
 "Does this tie in with the complicated feelings you mentioned, then?"
 
@@ -122,6 +122,6 @@ Ey nodded.
 
 Ey stopped up short, winced. "Right, sorry. Not my job."
 
-"Thank you," she said, grinning. "I'll touch base with each of them, don't worry. One more tip before I go: take care of yourself. That whole golden rule thing applies to you, too, you know. Treat others well, but remember you still need to be treated well."
+"Thank you," she said, grinning. "I'll touch base with each of them, don't worry. One more tip before I go: take care of yourself. That whole golden rule thing applies to you, too, you know. Treat others well, but remember you still need to be treated well, too."
 
 "I'll certainly try."