update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/036.md

@@ -46,7 +46,7 @@ Serene nodded. "He read the *History* and came to the same conclusion that the r
 
 "I do not want to hear you say that you are sorry, Sasha. I do not think that is how this works as you are now, not for me. I do not want to hear your justifications and explanations; I can understand them as well as anyone. I just want to hear your acknowledgement."
 
-After setting her plate and fork down on the low table again, Sasha folded her paws in her lap, sat for a moment in silence, then said. "For as much as I tried to do --- for as much as Jonas and I both tried to do --- I do not think we had nearly the effect on the world around us we thought we did, not on the grand scale. We played our games of politics and influence, but it was a game of relationships from start to finish, you are correct. True Name changed relationships. May Then My Name changed relationships. E.W. played his part. I do not know if it was for the better or for the worse, but I do acknowledge that it made a good many of them far more difficult."
+After setting her plate and fork down on the low table again, Sasha folded her paws in her lap, sat for a moment in silence, then said. "For as much as I tried to do --- for as much as Jonas and I both tried to do --- I do not think we had nearly the effect on the world around us we thought we did, not on the grand scale. We played our games of politics and influence, but it was a game of relationships from start to finish, you are correct. True Name changed relationships. May Then My Name changed relationships. E.W. played his part. I do not know if it was for the better or the worse, but I do acknowledge that it made a good many of them far more difficult."
 
 "Well, okay. Perhaps one apology."
 
@@ -82,7 +82,7 @@ And then it was done.
 
 "H-holy fuck," ey managed, clutching at the railing of the balcony. Both May and Sasha stood defiantly against the change, though neither looked as casual as the fox.
 
-"I have set your house up the hill a ways from the default entry point to the old sim. That it was already on stilts proved quite useful. The angle of the sun may be a bit different, but not so much as to be a problem," she said, gesturing them down the steps from Sasha's side of the balcony. They landed on a concrete pad set into the bed of pine needles, a small trail winding its way down the slope toward the water. She gestured toward the small ridge that rose next to them. "I had to modify the terrain a little bit to keep your yard level. You should be okay, but if you run into erosion problems, do let me know. I have been told of your affinity for weather, Ioan."
+"I have set your house up the hill a ways from the default entry point to the old sim. That it was already on stilts proved quite useful. The angle of the sun may be a bit different, but not so much as to be a problem," she said, gesturing them down the steps from Sasha's side of the balcony. They landed on a flagstone pad set into the bed of pine needles, a small trail winding its way down the slope toward the water. She gestured toward the small ridge that rose next to them. "I had to modify the terrain a little bit to keep your yard level. You should be okay, but if you run into erosion problems, do let me know. I have been told of your affinity for weather, Ioan."
 
 Sure enough, the fence remained level, wrapping around a small rectangle of hidden grass and dandelions, the tops of lilac bushes overflowing.
 
@@ -122,7 +122,7 @@ May elbowed em in the side. "Hush, you."
 
 "Write? Really?"
 
-"Yes. I will be careful not to influence, lest I bring on Jonas's ire, but I would like to share the story of the last few centuries from my point of view. I do not know who will be interested except perhaps our two clades, but I will write."
+"Yes. I will be careful not to be seen as overtly influencing lest I bring on Jonas's ire, but I would like to share the story of the last few centuries from my point of view. I do not know who will be interested except perhaps our two clades, but I will write."
 
 "Well, if it's anything like the *History*," Ioan said, "it'll wind up wildly popular and then fade into part of the mythos of the System."
 
@@ -174,9 +174,9 @@ Ey didn't understand, but ey didn't need to.
 
 -----
 
-It was nearly a month before Debarre, Douglas, and Sasha agreed to meet. Debarre's side of the negotiations remained stiff and distant, the weasel refusing to see Sasha after that initial meeting. Douglas seemed to have set aside any sense of caution, speaking with palpable excitement. As soon as he'd learned of the change of name back to something more closely associated with his distant relative, he'd hardly spoken of anything else.
+It was nearly a month before Debarre, Douglas, and Sasha agreed to meet. Debarre's side of the negotiations remained stiff and distant, the weasel initially refusing to see Sasha after that first meeting. Douglas seemed to have set aside any sense of caution, speaking with palpable excitement. As soon as he'd learned of the change of name back to something more closely associated with his distant relative, he'd hardly spoken of anything else.
 
-The meeting was set up for dinner on the dandelion-dotted field, a small potluck picnic late in the evening so that the skunks wouldn't overheat in the sun.
+Eventually, though, meeting was set up for dinner on the dandelion-dotted field, a small potluck picnic late in the evening so that the skunks wouldn't overheat in the sun.
 
 Everyone arrived simultaneously by Debarre's request so that no one was left waiting for anyone else. Ioan, May, and Sasha stepped into the sim just in time to see Debarre and E.W. arriving. The six of them stood in a circle in front of Douglas's stoop, dandelions and evening bumblers tickling at their ankles.
 
@@ -190,7 +190,7 @@ May padded over to kneel next to her. "May I hug?"
 
 After a moment of strained silence, Sasha slumped against May's side, and the two sat together while she let out that overwhelming emotion within a cone of silence.
 
-Ioan, Debarre, E.W., and Douglas took the time to set up the picnic, a rickety table bearing plates of various salads, roasted vegetables, and the makings of venison sandwiches, courtesy E.W.. They moved in silence, hesitantly, each pausing every now and then to watch as Sasha slowly worked to calm herself.
+Ioan, Debarre, E.W., and Douglas took the time to set up the picnic, a rickety table bearing plates of various salads, roasted vegetables, and the makings for venison sandwiches, courtesy of E.W.. They moved in silence, hesitantly, each pausing every now and then to watch as Sasha slowly worked to calm herself.
 
 "That was not the greeting that I had intended," she said, once she had cleaned up in Douglas's house and joined them at the table to pick up a plate. "I was hoping that I would be able to greet you all politely, settle into some easier conversation, but that of True Name has not been here in too long. This place is too charged with memories, as are your faces. Even for that of E.W. and May, there is too much bound up in the last few months."
 
@@ -208,7 +208,7 @@ She smiled and leaned over to pat his shoulder. "We will talk, dear. That part o
 
 Debarre remained stiff and awkward, even as they settled down on the blanket to eat, plates piled high with various dishes and cups of sangria set carefully in the grass behind them. He wouldn't make eye contact with Sasha and seemed hesitant to speak even to Ioan and May.
 
-Eventually, he cleared his throat, set his plate down, and stared steadily at Sasha. "I'd like an apology. At least from the, uh...what did you call it? The True Name part of you?"
+Eventually, he cleared his throat, set his plate down, and stared steadily at Sasha. "I think you owe me an apology. At least from the, uh...what did you call it? The True Name part of you?"
 
 As she had done with Serene, Sasha set her plate down as well, folded her paws in her lap, and bowed to the weasel. Ioan could tell by the set of her features and the straightness of her shoulders that she was indeed doing her best to keep that part of her at the fore. "I am sorry, Debarre. The things that I did were for what I thought was best, but they wound up hurting a good many people. They were not fair to you and I apologize for the pain I caused. While I do not think I even *could* anymore, I will all the same endeavor not to act in such single-minded ways again."
 
@@ -338,7 +338,7 @@ Zacharias moaned. He forced himself to lower his paws to the ground, gripping at
 
 "What did you want, my dear Zack? You sounded on the verge of panic."
 
-"It is Jonas!" he said, finally snapping out of his daze. "Jonas! He killed all of my instances!"
+"It is Jonas!" he said, finally snapping out of his daze. "Jonas! He has gone crazy! He killed all of my instances!"
 
 "Did you expect anything else, little loverfox?" Sasha asked. There was no humor or sweetness in her voice, the last two words carried venom in them.
 
@@ -430,7 +430,7 @@ Ey waited until ey could breathe properly after the squeeze, then kissed the top
 
 She nodded once more, relinquished her grip on em, and nudged em out toward the back door and outside.
 
-Sasha had set up a tent similar to E.W.'s, though she had skipped the process of building it herself, instead creating from similar materials off the exchange. She'd set it up nearly on the other side of the lake from their house, so that she could have the solitude that she needed without having to create some new sim of her own. When the need for solitude struck her, it never quite got to the point that it did with E.W. She would need away from their presences. They felt like a constant weight on her shoulders. Light, yes, but continually present, she would say.
+Sasha had set up a tent similar to E.W.'s, though she had skipped the process of building it herself, instead creating from similar materials off the exchange. She'd set it up nearly on the other side of the lake from their house, so that she could have the solitude that she needed without having to create some new sim of her own. When the need for space struck her, it never quite got to the point that it did with E.W. She would need away from their presences, she would say. They felt like a constant weight on her shoulders. Light, yes, but continually present.
 
 Ah well. This was the first time that May had overflowed in this living situation --- and so dramatically, too; she'd never given em so little notice --- so perhaps it would be helpful after all.
 
@@ -458,13 +458,13 @@ Sasha patted eir hand and bade em stay while she got up to stoke up the fire in
 
 "Without contraries is no progression," Sasha murmured after they'd finished. "Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence."
 
-Ey started to ask what she meant, paused, then looked the words up in the perisystem architecture. "And here I thought you all were mostly into Dickinson."
+Ey started to ask what she meant, paused, then looked the words up in the perisystem architecture. "Blake? And here I thought you all were mostly into Dickinson."
 
 She chuckled and elbowed em in the side. "This may be a True Name thing."
 
 "Are you leaning into the "Good is the passive that obeys reason; Evil is the active springing from Energy" on this, then?"
 
-"Nothing is so simple, dear," she said, shaking her head. "Blake was not of our kind, he would not have understood. He did get that right, though, in that we are a people of dualities. May sees in Zacharias all that she cannot --- must not --- be. In Dreams and Hammered Silver see in me that which they are not, and yet we are not what we are without our opposites. Every idea's opposite is just the absence of the idea itself."
+"Nothing is so simple, dear," she said, shaking her head. "Blake was not of our kind, he would not have understood. He did get that right, though, in that we are a people of dualities. May sees in Zacharias all that she cannot --- must not --- be. In Dreams and Hammered Silver see in me that which they are not --- could not be --- and yet we are not what we are without our opposites. Every idea's opposite is just the absence of the idea itself."
 
 "Maybe." Ey sighed. "It's all a bit over my head."
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/037.md

@@ -4,7 +4,7 @@ May's stint of overflowing only lasted two nights. Something about the change in
 
 Unexpected, perhaps, but by then ey was too frustrated and exhausted to think of anything else, and the added comfort certainly worked in getting em to sleep, to the point where ey slept in until a ray of sun, creeping slowly, fell across eir face and warmed em awake.
 
-Sasha had apparently woken up earlier in the morning and snuck away, as there was a lukewarm cup of coffee sitting by the edge of eir bed and no skunk to be found.
+Sasha had apparently woken up earlier in the morning and snuck away, as there was a lukewarm cup of camp coffee sitting by the edge of eir bed and no skunk to be found.
 
 Ah well, at least the coffee was good (if gritty) and ey felt better rested than ey had before.
 
@@ -44,7 +44,7 @@ May greeted them at the balcony with steaming mugs of coffee. She declined a hug
 
 She scoffed and gestured a paw down at herself. "I look perfectly fine, thank you very much."
 
-"You look a mess, dear," Sasha confirmed. "You need a shower and a change of clothes, and perhaps another four hours of sleep."
+"You look a mess, dear," Sasha confirmed. "You need a shower, a change of clothes, and perhaps another four hours of sleep."
 
 May sighed, nodded. "I do at that. All the same, the wave has crested and gone, and now perhaps I can relax enough to do so. Coffee first, though.
 
@@ -58,7 +58,7 @@ Sasha poked at eir knee with a dull claw. "The tent beds are not *that* bad."
 
 "No, they're fine, but they still pale in comparison to our bed."
 
-"Fine, fine."
+"Well, yes, I will admit that."
 
 May looked between the two, then laughed. "I take it this setup worked for me taking some space?"
 
@@ -94,7 +94,7 @@ Sasha tilted her head. "Now? I was going to suggest in a few days time, once you
 
 "Are you up for forking, May?"
 
-She hesitated, then shook her head, pushing herself up from her chair to step around behind eirs. She bent down to hug around eir shoulders from behind, cheek pressed against eirs. "I cannot cope with conflicts right now. I cannot yet work in parallel."
+She hesitated, then shook her head, pushing herself up from her chair to step around behind eirs. She bent down to hug around eir shoulders from behind, cheek pressed against eir own. "I cannot cope with conflicts right now. I cannot yet work in parallel."
 
 Ey rested eir cheek against hers and frowned down to eir coffee for a few moments, sighed, then nodded. "Alright, but I get the May for the rest of the day, okay?"
 
@@ -118,7 +118,7 @@ They sat in silence, drinking their coffee and eating rolls with butter and hone
 
 "Really? No bigger and brighter things?"
 
-She laughed and leaned over to touch her nose to eir cheek. "This *is* bigger and brighter things, dear."
+She laughed and leaned over to touch her nose to eir cheek. "This *is* bigger and brighter things, Ioan."
 
 "Well, I'm sure we'll talk about it plenty, but I see no reason not to keep your room about, and your tent's certainly no trouble. I don't know what you overflowing will look like, but if it involves two thirds solitude and one third getting lost walking sims, I don't imagine you'll be around all the time."
 
@@ -160,11 +160,11 @@ Ey laughed.
 
 "Mmhm."
 
-"There was one more change that I made during that meeting, which was to cement this triad of identities within me. It became who I am by accident, but it has an integral part of me. I welcomed it in, owned it, made it integral to myself. I will ever be what I am."
+"There was one more change that I made during that meeting, which was to cement this triad of identities within me. It became who I am by accident, but it has become an integral part of me. I welcomed it in, owned it, made it a part of myself. I will ever be what I am."
 
 "Really? You're okay staying in three parts?"
 
-"I am. There is something pleasant about the just-off-center nature of that reality. I am Sasha, and I am also True Name, E.W., and May. I am of three minds."
+"I am. There is something pleasant about the just-off-center nature of that reality. It is home to me. I am Sasha, and I am also True Name, E.W., and May. I am of three minds."
 
 "So long as that works for you."
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/index.md

@@ -64,21 +64,21 @@ Wherein True Name and May reconcile, and we deal with the problem of the ownersh
         * [X] [May and TN's Wallow 2](026) --- May's feeling bad because she can't help, also starting to agree with Ioan: not fair to them as a couple for TN to have those memories
         * [X] [Choose love: TN's offer](027) --- TN comes back, few days of attempted normalcy, topic of May merging comes up, May and Ioan mention apprehensions, but TN is actually kind of for it. She needs the change, needs good as well as bad, but she'll also have memories of their apprehensions and can work with that
         * [X] [Choose love: Ioan and May](028) --- Ioan expands on this when they're alone, and they talk about how TN won't just have May's memories wholesale, she'll have a synthesis. May agrees, thinks knowing love is only ever going to be a good thing, TN also deserves that (plus memories of resentment will open things up). May's little lie about 'merging down every few years' comes up, she hasn't in nearly two centuries
-* [O] Reconciliation --- After the merge and TN's collapse, she has to process two centuries of memories while Ioan and May have to process the results of the merge
+* [X] Reconciliation --- After the merge and TN's collapse, she has to process two centuries of memories while Ioan and May have to process the results of the merge
     * [X] *The living know that they will die / but the dead know nothing.* --- By our very act of knowing, of remembering, of denying our own deaths, the dead are left in limbo, for every idea's opposite is the absence of that idea, and we can no longer grant them even that absence.
     * [X] CHAPTER Ioan 2350
         * [X] [Plan and risk](029) --- they plan together on how to make this a more deliberate thing than the merger with EW, setting up a nest in which she can process comfortably, Ioan lays in supplies, TN negotiates boundaries and how they'll shift, May merges down
         * [X] [Grand gesture](030) --- TN processes, cries a lot, they talk about what this means (acknowledging that talking boundaries is a new thing for TN) It goes well enough that her fork quits
-    * [O] CHAPTER Debarre 2350
-        * [O] [Result for EW](031) --- EW and Debarre talk about how they both feel about TN's mergers and how this could go either way for EW: he feels better about TN, but now he's listless and unsure of how he feels about the clade given how much of his identity was bound up in rejecting TN.
-        * [O] [Result for Jonas and Debarre](032) --- They talk about how this is working for Jonas, how it's dangerous because it gives Jonas & Co an opening through May's known weaknesses (less his because they haven't studied him nearly so much), how EW was requested to be there. Maybe some more about reactive elements? Debarre comes home to talk with e.g: user11824?
-    * [O] CHAPTER Ioan 2350
-        * [O] [TN's path forward](033) --- TN decides she's ready to start planning the meeting, has a better idea of what she'll become (maybe merge down? See where it goes)
-        * [O] [Ioan sets the meeting up](034) --- Ey's acting as amanuensis and as close to a neutral party as there is, and Jonas is all asmirk at this. They head out, and are greeted by Zacharias, Ioan is struggling with anger, they're going to meet up in a week.
-        * [O] [They meet, they talk, TN changes](035) --- Jonas talks about how the upcoming changes require a different kind of stability for continuity and TN just isn't gonna cut it, gives ultimata for her continued existence. TN becomes Sasha, and now she's all asmirk.
-        * [O] [Something innocent](036) --- The aftermath. They get Serene to basically duplicate Arrowhead Lake in place of Sasha's field, etc Sasha works on finding a new purpose, realizes it's going to be a long process.
-        * [O] [Epilogue](037) Ioan and Sasha are drifting closer together as hinted at in 002, but this should a) look like it's going to end happily and b) be an active and open conversation because I am completely unwilling to lose any of them.
-            * [O] *To deny the end is to deny all beginnings, / and to deny beginnings is to become immortal, / and to become immortal is to repeat the past.* --- It has been a quarter of a millennium since their death, and yet less than a quarter of a thousand people know their name. Fitting, then, that I tell you the story of the poet and the one true origin of our world, of our very own ghost in the system, of the whispers in your dreams and the one who binds us to immortality.
+    * [X] CHAPTER Debarre 2350
+        * [X] [Result for EW](031) --- EW and Debarre talk about how they both feel about TN's mergers and how this could go either way for EW: he feels better about TN, but now he's listless and unsure of how he feels about the clade given how much of his identity was bound up in rejecting TN.
+        * [X] [Result for Jonas and Debarre](032) --- They talk about how this is working for Jonas, how it's dangerous because it gives Jonas & Co an opening through May's known weaknesses (less his because they haven't studied him nearly so much), how EW was requested to be there. Maybe some more about reactive elements? Debarre comes home to talk with e.g: user11824?
+    * [X] CHAPTER Ioan 2350
+        * [X] [TN's path forward](033) --- TN decides she's ready to start planning the meeting, has a better idea of what she'll become (maybe merge down? See where it goes)
+        * [X] [Ioan sets the meeting up](034) --- Ey's acting as amanuensis and as close to a neutral party as there is, and Jonas is all asmirk at this. They head out, and are greeted by Zacharias, Ioan is struggling with anger, they're going to meet up in a week.
+        * [X] [They meet, they talk, TN changes](035) --- Jonas talks about how the upcoming changes require a different kind of stability for continuity and TN just isn't gonna cut it, gives ultimata for her continued existence. TN becomes Sasha, and now she's all asmirk.
+        * [X] [Something innocent](036) --- The aftermath. They get Serene to basically duplicate Arrowhead Lake in place of Sasha's field, etc Sasha works on finding a new purpose, realizes it's going to be a long process.
+        * [X] [Epilogue](037) Ioan and Sasha are drifting closer together as hinted at in 002, but this should a) look like it's going to end happily and b) be an active and open conversation because I am completely unwilling to lose any of them.
+            * [X] *To deny the end is to deny all beginnings, / and to deny beginnings is to become immortal, / and to become immortal is to repeat the past.* --- It has been a quarter of a millennium since their death, and yet less than a quarter of a thousand people know their name. Fitting, then, that I tell you the story of the poet and the one true origin of our world, of our very own ghost in the system, of the whispers in your dreams and the one who binds us to immortality. (2365/systime 241+21)
 
 * [Synopsis](synopsis)
 * [Cover ideas](cover-ideas)