update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/010.md

@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 
 Ioan wasn't sure what ey was expecting, stepping back home. Certainly all of the instances of May had quit as soon as they left, and hopefully that meant that there wouldn't be any more reputation-analyst-*cum*-assassins lingering around. All ey could hope is that ey wouldn't find any core dumps, just in case one of them had somehow killed one of her forks. It was vanishingly unlikely, given that the virus embedded in those symbolic objects --- the syringes and knives and who knows what else --- had to be tailored to whoever the target was.
 
-*Unless they're after the whole stanza or the whole clade,* ey thought, lingering in the entryway, ears strained to listen for sounds coming from deeper within the house. The entryway took the form of a short hallway that led into a den, dining room, and kitchen, and at least the space directly ahead of em was clear.
+*Unless they're after the whole stanza or the whole clade,* ey thought, lingering in the entryway, ears strained to listen for sounds coming from deeper within the house. The entryway took the form of a short hallway that led into a large, rectangular room comprising a den, dining room, and kitchen, and at least the space directly ahead of em was clear.
 
 *This is stupid,* ey thought. *I should just clear the whole place of everyone and completely reset the ACLs.*
 
@@ -10,7 +10,7 @@ Curiosity won out, though, and ey set up a cone of silence above emself, set the
 
 Ey just had to hope that was enough.
 
-Peeking around the corner revealed an empty den, though the clear evidence of a struggle remained: pillows and couch cushions were scattered, a glass of juice had been knocked over on the table, and most of May's notes had been scattered in a crazed ring around her desk.
+Peeking around the corner revealed an empty den, though the clear evidence of a struggle remained: pillows and couch cushions were tossed about, a glass of juice had been knocked over on the table, and most of May's notes had been scattered in a crazed ring around her desk.
 
 The kitchen and dining area were also empty. Other than the chairs around the dining table knocked askew, there was no damage. 
 
@@ -18,15 +18,15 @@ The bedroom was similarly empty, bed still neatly made and a few of May's better
 
 It wasn't until ey made eir way out onto the balcony to check the back yard that ey found anyone.
 
-A tall, blond man sat in one of eir Adirondack chairs, chin rested on eir fist as he stared dozily out into the yard. It had been nearly twenty-five years since ey'd interviewed Jonas, and ey hadn't seen him at all in the interim, but nothing seemed to have changed about him. He was still, as both May and True name had described him, perilously handsome, still polished to a gleam, every aspect of him still oozing confidence.
+A tall, blond man sat in one of eir Adirondack chairs, cheek rested on eir fist as he stared dozily out into the yard. It had been nearly twenty-five years since ey'd interviewed Jonas, and ey hadn't seen him at all in the interim, but nothing seemed to have changed about him. He was still, as both May and True name had described him, perilously handsome, still polished to a gleam, every aspect of him still oozing confidence.
 
 "Long time no see, Ioan." He grinned, nodding out to the yard. "Lovely place you've got. So few people keep those good, full-bore winters anymore, you know?"
 
 Ioan lifted eir hand to bounce him from the sim.
 
-Jonas lifted his hands disarmingly. "Hey, it's okay. I'm just here to talk. Mr. Qián left after your partner. Some dramatic stuff all went down all at once."
+Jonas lifted his hands, palms up. "Hey, it's okay. I'm just here to talk. Mr. Qián left after you and your partner did. Some dramatic stuff all went down all at once."
 
-"I'll say," ey said, standing well back from the man. "What are you doing here, Jonas?"
+"I'll say," ey said, standing well back from him. "What are you doing here, Jonas?"
 
 "Just waiting on you, mostly. I wanted to check and make sure you and May Then My Name were alright."
 
@@ -34,13 +34,13 @@ Jonas lifted his hands disarmingly. "Hey, it's okay. I'm just here to talk. Mr.
 
 "Only to tidy up loose ends," he said, leaning back in the chair again and using the well-shined toe of his shoe to knock a bit of snow off the railing of the balcony. "I trust you've stashed your skunks away somewhere safe?"
 
-"My skunks?" All of the stress of the last forty-five minutes, that ey'd been holding back around May, all that had been covered by eir need to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible, all of it came crashing down on em at once. "*My skunks?*" ey shouted. "Jonas, what the hell? You sent a fucking assassin after True Name, sent them over to our house so they could hound May. What the hell are you even talking about? Of course I'm going to keep my fucking partner and friend safe if you're going to try killing them! Fucking...*my skunks*. Good Lord."
+"My skunks?" All of the stress of the last forty-five minutes that ey'd been holding back around May, all that had been obscured by eir need to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible, all of it came crashing down on em at once. "*My skunks?*" ey shouted. "Jonas, what the hell? You sent a fucking assassin after True Name, sent them over to our house so they could hound May. What the hell are you even talking about? Of course I'm going to keep my fucking partner and friend safe if you're going to try killing them! Fucking...*my skunks*. Good Lord."
 
-Once ey'd finished and was left panting again, the politician sat up in the chair and grinned widely, clapping his hands. "Mx. Ioan Bălan! Such language! I didn't know you had it in you! Bravo."
+Once ey'd finished and was left panting again, Jonas sat up in the chair and grinned widely, clapping his hands. "Mx. Ioan Bălan! Such language! I didn't know you had it in you! Bravo."
 
 "Fuck you too."
 
-That grin lingered as Jonas gave a hint of a bow. "Very well, Ioan. To your concerns, the bit with May Then My Name was unintentional. One of True Name said that she was with you, and while I was pretty sure that meant your little coffee shop, I figured I'd stop by just to make sure. Guōweī got a little excited when he saw her, thinking it might be his target. She's quite good at fighting, your girl. You have my most abject apologies."
+That grin lingered as Jonas gave a hint of a bow. "Very well, Ioan. To your concerns, the bit with May Then My Name was unintentional. One of True Name said that she was with you, and while I was pretty sure that meant your little coffee shop, I figured I'd stop by just to make sure. Guōweī got a little excited when he saw her, thinking it might be his target. She's quite good at fighting, your girl. You have my most abject apologies. We should've just waited."
 
 "And True Name?"
 
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ That grin lingered as Jonas gave a hint of a bow. "Very well, Ioan. To your conc
 
 Ioan gaped at him. "'Yep'? Just...yep?"
 
-Jonas laughed. "That was the easiest one out of the bunch. I've got all the way through plan M, though, so don't worry, I've got it covered."
+Jonas laughed. "That was the easiest one out of the bunch, I'll admit. I've got all the way through plan M, though, so don't worry, I've got it covered."
 
 "Fine. Enlighten me. What's plan B?"
 
@@ -72,7 +72,7 @@ Ey scoffed.
 
 "And why should I believe you on that?"
 
-He shrugged. "You don't have to, but I am telling the truth, Ioan. If you and True Name don't show at the very least, you'd better not leave home or wherever you're staying again. Just because I *didn't* mix up some syringes for you doesn't mean I *can't*."
+He shrugged. "You don't have to, but I am telling the truth, Ioan. If you and True Name don't show at the very least, you'd better plan on not leaving home or wherever you're staying again. Just because I *didn't* mix up some syringes for you doesn't mean I *can't*."
 
 "That's pretty dramatic."
 
@@ -86,9 +86,9 @@ He shrugged. "You don't have to, but I am telling the truth, Ioan. If you and Tr
 
 "Nope! That's it for me. You can go back to your hidey-hole and get all smoochy with--"
 
-Ioan completed the gesture ey'd held back since the beginning, bouncing Jonas from the sim completely. He was tempted to scream out into the yard just as True Name had done earlier at the lake.
+Ioan completed the gesture ey'd held back since the beginning, bouncing Jonas from the sim completely. Ey held back the urge to scream out into the yard just as True Name had done earlier at the lake.
 
-Ey sent May a quick I'm-okay ping, then started riffling through the perisystem architecture for information on how to sweep a sim. There was nothing in there ey could find about checking who was swept, but it was still possible to sweep everyone who didn't currently have their home set to the current sim, and to receive explicit confirmation that this had been completed and how many instances it affected.
+Ey sent May a quick I'm-okay ping, then started riffling through the perisystem architecture for information on how to completely sweep a sim. There was nothing in there ey could find about checking who was swept, but it was still possible to sweep everyone who didn't currently have their home set to the current sim, and to receive explicit confirmation that this had been completed and how many instances it affected.
 
 Focusing on the set of steps required, ey triggered the sweep, then checked the log that it had left, eyes-only, for em in the architecture.
 
@@ -98,7 +98,7 @@ Focusing on the set of steps required, ey triggered the sweep, then checked the
 
 Now wasn't the time to be thinking about it, though.
 
-Ey spent the next five minutes locking down and fine-tuning the ACLs for the house. By the time it was done, the house would only let em and May in as owners and anyone they brought with them by hand. It was now marked as invisible to all but a short list of allowed individuals. Debarre, End Waking, True Name, A Finger Pointing, Douglas, and a dozen or so others ey could think of who might conceivably come over.
+Ey spent the next five minutes locking down and fine-tuning the ACLs for the house. By the time it was done, the house would only let em and May in as owners and anyone they brought with them by hand. It was also now marked as invisible to all but a short list of allowed individuals. Debarre, End Waking, True Name, A Finger Pointing, Douglas, and a dozen or so others ey could think of who might conceivably want to know when they were home.
 
 At last, ey stepped away from home and back to Arrowhead Lake.
 
@@ -136,7 +136,7 @@ Ey blanched. "From Jonas?"
 
 "Very creepy," ey muttered. All of their talks, all of their discussions and jokes and arguments, all of their pleasant silences and moments of intimacy, all being watched. "What a nightmare."
 
-She nodded. "I am sorry, my dear. If it is of any consolation, I assure you that we really are quite boring. We have only had a few conversations of note over the last twenty-seven years, and the rest must have been excruciatingly boring."
+She nodded. "I am sorry, my dear. If it is of any consolation, I assure you that we really are quite boring. We have only had a few conversations of note over the last twenty-seven years, and the rest must have been excruciating to sit through."
 
 "Or incredibly awkward."
 
@@ -152,11 +152,11 @@ They stood up and brushed off their pants as the skunk came padding around the l
 
 "It's not--" Ey caught emself up short and shook eir head. "Well, are you okay?"
 
-The skunk shook her head. "I am not, no. I am very nearly on the edge of collapse. I feel like I could sleep or cry for three days straight, or both if it were possible."
+The skunk shook her head. "I am not, no. I am very nearly on the edge of collapse. I feel like I could either sleep or cry for three days straight. Or both if it were possible."
 
-May took a deep breath, held it for a slow count of three, and very carefully let it out. "I am sorry, my dear."
+May took a deep breath, held it for a slow count of three, and very carefully let it out. "I am sorry, True Name."
 
-True Name stood rigid, jaw working as she clenched her teeth in an effort to maintain control. After several long seconds, she sniffled, opened her mouth to say something, then shook her head and bowed deeply.
+She stood rigid, jaw working as she clenched her teeth in an effort to maintain control. After several long seconds, she sniffled, opened her mouth to say something, then shook her head and bowed deeply.
 
 Watching nervously, Ioan fiddled with the hem of eir vest. So much had happened in the last hour and a half, and now this exchange between eir partner and her cocladist was enough to start that anxiety rising within em again. True Name trying her best not to cry openly and May clutching tightly at eir arm, both of them interacting with each other was a different sort of stress than the assassination attempt, but no less intense.
 
@@ -164,7 +164,7 @@ Watching nervously, Ioan fiddled with the hem of eir vest. So much had happened
 
 The skunk gave up on maintaining her expression and hid her face in her paws, nodding. "Thank you," she croaked.
 
-Once she'd washed her face and calmed down enough to speak, the three of them set to work deciding what the next steps were. May suggested they stay at the lake for the night, explaining that they'd need time to sort out a living situation for True Name and that she wanted to go over their place with a fine-toothed comb before spending the night there again, anyway. After hearing about the spies, Ioan was quick to agree. 
+Once she'd washed her face and calmed down enough to speak, the three of them set to work deciding what the next steps were. May suggested they stay at the lake for the night, explaining that they'd need time to sort out a living situation for True Name and that she wanted to go over their place with a fine-toothed comb before spending the night there again, anyway. After hearing about the spies, she was quick to agree. 
 
 True Name merely nodded. "Is there a place here that I can stay?" she asked.
 
@@ -174,7 +174,7 @@ She nodded. "I understand. I will dig--"
 
 "You will stay with us," May said quickly, as though rushing to get it out before second-guessing herself, a sentiment echoed in her expression.
 
-Both True Name and Ioan stared at her until she wilted. "I am sorry. I know that things have been difficult between us and that a large part of that is on me, but that does not mean that I do not want you safe. If we have a place that we have complete control over from ACLs to building, that is safer than this security-through-obscurity abandoned sim."
+Both True Name and Ioan stared at her until she wilted. "I am sorry. I know that things have been difficult between us and that a large part of that is on me, but that does not mean that I do not want you safe. If we have a place that we have complete control over from ACLs to building, that is safer than this security-through-obscurity abandoned sim, and our proximity will discourage further attempts on your life."
 
 "I can mirror the house, I think," Ioan said, once the shock had worn off. "That'll get you a bedroom and furnishings."
 
@@ -184,7 +184,7 @@ May nodded in turn. After a moment's silence, she turned to Ioan and said, "My d
 
 "Me?"
 
-"Please. I do not think I have the wherewithal to do so, myself."
+"Please." She sighed. "I do not think I have the wherewithal to do so, myself. I do not want to go and cry in front of someone else. I do not want to feel like I am begging, even if help comes willingly."
 
 Ey hesitated, nodded, and sent End Waking a sensorium ping, requesting a meeting, which was quickly acknowledged. "Alright," ey said, forking off a new instance. "Back in a few."
 
@@ -256,6 +256,6 @@ When the skunk had left, ey quit and merged back down to eir root instance.
 
 Both skunks shook their heads.
 
-"Alright," ey said. Ey wasn't hungry either, ey realized, just that the tail end of eir anxiety had em jittery. Once ey set that aside, ey realized just how exhausted ey was.
+"Alright," ey said. Ey wasn't hungry either, ey realized. The tail end of eir anxiety just had em jittery. Once ey set that aside, ey realized just how exhausted ey was.
 
 They sat in quiet well into the evening, instead, each of them trying to digest the day in their own way.

writing/post-self/mitzvot/011.md

@@ -1,12 +1,12 @@
 -----
 
-"This has been far and away the worst Secession day," True Name said.
+"This has been far and away the worst Secession day I have had," True Name said.
 
 Ioan and May both snorted, then worked to finish their bites so that they could apologize.
 
 "Sorry, True Name," Ioan said. "I don't know if you had a lot planned, but I'm glad you at least made it through."
 
-The skunk smiled weakly. "It is okay to laugh. There is little else to do in the face of it. I am sorry that you two have been dragged into it along with me."
+"It is okay to laugh. There is little else to do in the face of it." The skunk smiled weakly. "I am sorry that you two have been dragged into it along with me."
 
 "It's alright."
 
@@ -24,7 +24,7 @@ She tilted her head. "You?"
 
 "Yeah. He said...well, let me start from the top. He said he was waiting there for me to make sure that May and I were alright, that he was there to tidy up loose ends, and that, uh..." Ey hesitated, unsure of how well Jonas's next comment would go over with either of the Odists. "And that he trusted that I'd, and I'm quoting here, 'stashed my skunks away somewhere safe'."
 
-Both May and True Name bridled at this, likely, ey thought, for similar reasons.
+Both May and True Name bridled at this, likely for similar reasons.
 
 "Sorry. I kind of blew up at him for that."
 
@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ Both May and True Name bridled at this, likely, ey thought, for similar reasons.
 
 True Name ground the heels of her palms against her eyes. "I am sorry that you had to go through that, Mx. Bălan. It does indeed sound like he was in fine form. Did he explain his reasons for having you along as amanuensis at all?"
 
-"Just that he needed to witness and write about what happens and leave the rest to the grown-ups." Ey thought back and shrugged. "That was most of what he said. He wanted to talk with you, wanted me to witness, and wanted the whole stanza there."
+"Just that he needed me to witness and write about what happens and leave the rest to the grown-ups." Ey thought back and shrugged. "That was most of what he said. He wanted to talk with you, wanted me to witness, and wanted the whole stanza there."
 
 May frowned. "Including me?"
 
@@ -74,9 +74,9 @@ Ey nodded.
 
 She tilted her head quizzically. "You swept seventeen? Those were likely Jonas's, I imagine."
 
-May's voice was steeped in sarcasm as she spoke, "Find out any juicy details?"
+May's voice was steeped in sarcasm as she spoke. "Find out any juicy details?"
 
-Her cocladist held up her paws. "I know that there is little that I can do to earn your trust, May Then My Name, and at this point, even I suspect that I do not deserve it. There were few details of note enough to report back to me. We knew of your career changes. We knew of your...your feelings towards me. We...well, they learned about the Artemisians early on when you got your letter from Castor, though in the last decade, the reports that I have received have decreased in number, which I attributed to a lack of interesting goings on. That they did not report on your letter from Artemis is a red flag I should have paid attention to sooner."
+Her cocladist held up her paws. "There is no excusing my actions. I know that there is little that I can do to earn your trust, May Then My Name, and at this point, even I suspect that I do not deserve it. There were few details of note enough to report back to me. We knew of your career changes. We knew of your...your feelings towards me. We...well, they learned about the Artemisians early on when you got your letter from Castor, though in the last decade, the reports that I have received have decreased in number, which I attributed to a lack of interesting goings on. That they did not report on your letter from Artemis is a red flag I should have paid attention to sooner."
 
 Ey shot May a questioning glance, but she shook her head. *Perhaps she really doesn't know about the Name,* ey thought.