update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/037.md

@@ -1,8 +1,8 @@
 -----
 
-May's stint of overflowing only lasted two nights. Something about the change in context, though, about staying with Sasha instead of Douglas, made everything feel tenuous. Ioan found it difficult to sleep on the padded cot that she'd added to the tent, and eventually, she must have grown tired of hearing em toss and turn and perhaps mumble to emself, for she sleepily climbed out of her own bed and into eirs, curling up with em after confirming that it was alright.
+May's stint of overflowing only lasted two nights. Something about the change in context, though, about staying with Sasha instead of Douglas, made everything feel tenuous. Ioan found it difficult to sleep on the padded cot that she'd added to the tent, and eventually, she must have grown tired of hearing em toss and turn (and perhaps mumble to emself), for she sleepily climbed out of her own bed and into eirs, curling up with em after confirming that it was alright.
 
-Unexpected, perhaps, but by then ey was too frustrated and exhausted to think of anything else, and the added comfort certainly worked in getting em to sleep, to the point where ey slept in until a ray of sun, creeping slowly, fell across eir face and warmed em awake.
+Unexpected, perhaps, but by then ey was too frustrated and exhausted to think of anything else. The added comfort certainly worked in getting em to sleep, to the point where ey slept in until a ray of sun, creeping slowly, fell across eir face and warmed em awake.
 
 Sasha had apparently woken up earlier in the morning and snuck away, as there was a lukewarm cup of camp coffee sitting by the edge of eir bed and no skunk to be found.
 
@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ Sasha surprised em by joining em on the trek back to the house, saying only, "I
 
 May greeted them at the balcony with steaming mugs of coffee. She declined a hug, stating that she felt gross, but did at least press her nose to Ioan's, and then to Sasha's cheek.
 
-"Thank you for giving me some space," she said. "I was not expecting the both of you, but I am happy to see you both all the same."
+"Thank you for giving me some space," she said. "I was not expecting the both of you, but I am happy to see you two all the same."
 
 "Of course, May. I'm just happy to see you doing better. Or happier, at least. You look a mess."
 
@@ -90,7 +90,7 @@ Sasha tilted her head. "Now? I was going to suggest in a few days time, once you
 
 "Why not? I am already a mess, I am already thinking about him, and after this, I would like more than 'a few days time' completely disengaged from the topic." She giggled, adding, "Besides, the more I have to dump on Sarah the next time I see her the better, right?"
 
-"I do not think it works that way, but I am not so much of a brat as you." Sasha finished her coffee, set the mug down with a sense of finality, and nodded. "Well, I suppose I am awake enough. If you do not mind, Ioan, may I steal your partner for a little bit longer? I would like to keep this first discussion between us, though I will ensure that you remain caught up."
+"I do not think it works that way, but I am not so much of a brat as you." Sasha finished her coffee, set the mug down with a sense of finality, and nodded. "Well, I suppose I am awake enough. If you do not mind, Ioan, may I steal your partner for a little bit longer? I would like to keep this first discussion between us, though I will ensure that you remain caught up. There is some...history behind this she should know."
 
 "Are you up for forking, May?"
 
@@ -108,7 +108,7 @@ Still conscious of her saying that she felt gross, ey patted one of her paws and
 
 Ey pulled together a breakfast of rolls to go along with a thermos of coffee, got one more nose-press of a kiss with May, and stepped back outside with an instance of Sasha.
 
-The house had been set up on a portion of the slope that was turned a little toward the east, meaning that the sun was not yet hitting the balcony. Autumn had gotten chilly enough at night, though, that they decided instead to walk down to the boulder lakeside, which would almost certainly be in full sun, even if it was less comfortable than the deck chairs.
+The house had been set up on a portion of the slope that was turned a little toward the west for sunset views, meaning that the sun was not yet hitting the balcony. Autumn had gotten chilly enough at night, though, that they decided instead to walk down to the boulder lakeside, which would almost certainly be in full sun, even if it was less comfortable than the deck chairs.
 
 They sat in silence, drinking their coffee and eating rolls with butter and honey.
 
@@ -136,7 +136,7 @@ Ey smiled, handing over the pebble. "I don't think so. So long as we can still h
 
 She tossed the pebble out into the water. "Of course, dear." After a pause, she grinned and added, "She is gushing about you now. She loves you very much, you know."
 
-Ioan chuckled. "I love her too. I worry, but all I can do is trust her."
+Ioan chuckled. "I love her too. I worry sometimes, but all I can do is trust her."
 
 "Yes. She will not betray that trust. I know to an extent just how much she means to you and to a much greater extent how much you mean to her."