update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/marsh/002.md

@@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
 Champagne tinted evenings faded, as they do, into brandy-colored nights. Amber nights and fireplaces for the hell of it, me and Hanne settling in for a little bit of warmth for that last hour, not quite decadence and a ways off from opulence, but still a plush couch and a fire and snifters slightly too full of liquor.
 
-We shared our warmth, sitting side by side on the couch, and we continued to talk, talking of the year past, of years past beyond that, and of however many we decided were ahead. A hundred years? Two hundred? Only five? I made an impassioned argument for five more years of life, then laughed, changed my mind, and say I'll never die. Hanne said she'll live for precisely two hundred, give up, and disappear from Lagrange. She'd fork at a century and never speak to that version of her again, that exact duplicate, and should that instance decide to live on past two centuries, so be it, but she'd decided her expiration.
+We shared our warmth, sitting side by side on the couch, and we continued to talk, talking of the year past, of years past beyond that, and of however many we decided were ahead. A hundred years? Two hundred? Only five? I made an impassioned argument for five more years of life, then laughed, changed my mind, and said I'd never die. Hanne said she'd live for precisely two hundred, give up, and disappear from Lagrange. She'd fork at a century and never speak to that version of her again, that exact duplicate, and should that instance decide to live on past two centuries, so be it, but she'd decided her expiration.
 
 I scoffed. "What? And leave me behind?"
 
@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ I scoffed. "What? And leave me behind?"
 
 "You think?" I draped my arm around her shoulders. "Still not sure?"
 
-"I'm sure I think I like you."
+"I'm sure that I think I like you."
 
 I laughed. "Yeah? Well, what can I do to cement your opinion of me? What can I do to make you sure that you like me?"
 
@@ -52,7 +52,7 @@ I could hear the frown in her voice. "How miserable."
 
 I chuckled, kissed atop her head. "Uh huh. Love you too."
 
-"But I was saying they have to be miserable. They chill out in their house and spend their days remembering yours, you and your cocladists, and just living vicariously through you all."
+"But I was saying they have to be just miserable. They chill out in their house and spend their days remembering yours, you and your cocladists, and just living vicariously through you all."
 
 "That's not all they do. They sing. They have Vos and Pierre, right? They spend time with their partners. They go to Vos's plays. They have friends over. They sing a *lot*. They cook–"
 
@@ -86,15 +86,21 @@ I scooted up onto the couch, myself, sitting cross-legged to face her. "It's oka
 
 Leaning forward, she gave me a light kiss. "It's okay, I like it when you ramble. Just don't lose track of the time."
 
-23:45.
+23:46.
 
 I started to nod, then stiffened as I felt first one, then another set of memories crash down onto me. "*Fuck.* One of these...days I'll convince...them to give me some warning...sec..."
 
-Hanne laughed and shook her head, standing from the couch to go get herself a glass of water.
+Hanne laughed and shook her head, standing from the couch to go get herself a glass of water. 
 
-I closed my eyes to turn down one of my senses, setting the sweet-smelling glass of brandy aside to rid myself of another as best I can. I sat and spent a moment processing, savoring the memories. Rush had merged down first; ve had split off a new copy of verself, and then the original had quit. On doing so, all the memories ve'd formed over the last year fell down onto me, ready to be remembered like some forgotten word on the tip of my tongue: all I needed to do is actually remember. Clearly, Tule had already forked and merged back down into Sedge, as their combined memories piled yet more weight on me. Three sets of memories — two from my direct up-tree instances and one from a second-degree up-tree instance — rested on my mind, ready for integration.
+With a rush of intent, I forked, bringing into being beside me a new instance of myself. Exactly the same. *Precisely*. Had such a thing any meaning to an upload, we would be the same down to the atomic level, to the subatomic. All of the memories, all of the personality, all of the history.
 
-There'll be time for full perusal and remembering later. It was rapidly approaching midnight, and I needed to get the memories sorted into my own, interleaved and zippered together into as cohesive a whole as best I can manage, all conflicts addressed — though with as separate as their lives had been until then, there was thankfully quite little in the way of conflicting memories — so that, shortly before midnight, I could fork, myself, let that new copy of me live out the next year with Hanne, with all their joys and sorrows, while the original instance quit and let all those memories — those of Rush, Sedge, Tule, and myself — fall to Marsh to process, savor, and treasure for themself.
+For a fraction of a second, at least. From that point on, we began to diverge, each remembering things differently. The Reed that still sat on the couch heard Hanne in the kitchen from *this* angle, yet the one that stood beside the couch heard her from that. The one that sat on the couch felt the fire on his cheek, the one standing felt it on his back.I forked — a new instance of me without these demanding memories, one who would not have the shared memories of my up-tree cocladists — and watched him wander off to the bedroom to presumably stay out of the way while I processed.
+
+I closed my eyes to turn down one of my senses, setting the sweet-smelling glass of brandy aside to rid myself of another as best I could. I sat and spent a moment processing, savoring the memories. Rush had merged down first; ve had split off a new copy of verself, and then the original had quit. On doing so, all the memories ve'd formed over the last year fell down onto me, ready to be remembered like some forgotten word on the tip of my tongue: all I needed to do is actually remember. Clearly, Tule had already forked and merged back down into Sedge, as their combined memories piled yet more weight on me. Three sets of memories — two from my direct up-tree instances and one from a second-degree up-tree instance — rested on my mind, ready for integration.
+
+There'd be time for Marsh to do their full perusal and remembering later. It was rapidly approaching midnight, and I needed to get the memories sorted into my own, interleaved and zippered together into as cohesive a whole as best I could manage, all conflicts addressed — though with as separate as their lives had been until then, there was thankfully quite little in the way of conflicting memories — so that, shortly before midnight, I could quit and let all those memories — those of Rush, Sedge, Tule, and myself — fall to Marsh to process, savor, and treasure for themself, while that new copy of me, off making the bed or simply taking some quiet, lived out the next year with Hanne, with all their joys and sorrows. 
+
+After so many years of practicing, I'd gotten quite good at this. It had become routine. Some years, I kept the memories, some not. It had been a nearly a decade since I'd bothered, and there didn't seem to be any reason to do different this year.
 
 I heard Hanne return, heard her climb back onto the couch before me, felt her press a cold glass of water into my hand.
 
@@ -102,7 +108,7 @@ Five minutes left.
 
 Three.
 
-23:58, and I opened my eyes and smiled. "Well, seems like it's been a pleasant enough year for everyone involved, though I'll deal with all the rest of that later."
+23:58, and I opened my eyes and smiled. "Well, seems like it's been a pleasant enough year for everyone involved, though Marsh will deal with all the rest of that later."
 
 "It continues to amaze just how good you are at that."
 
@@ -120,16 +126,14 @@ She laughed. "Still, far better than I am at it."
 
 "Is it time, then?" she asked.
 
-I nodded, willed away the drunkenness, took a sip of water, and, with a rush of intent, brought into being beside us a new instance of myself. Exactly the same. *Precisely*. Had such a thing any meaning to an upload, we would be the same down to the atomic level, to the subatomic. All of the memories, all of the personality, all of the history.
-
-For a fraction of a second, at least. From that point on, we began to diverge, each remembering things differently. The Reed that still sat on the couch saw Hanne from *this* angle, yet the one that stood beside the couch saw her from that. The one that sat on the couch felt the fire on his cheek, the one standing felt it on his back.
-
-"Alright. I love you, Hanne Marie. I'll miss you."
+I nodded, willed away the drunkenness, took a sip of water. "Alright. I love you, Hanne Marie. I'll miss you."
 
 She rolled her eyes. "Tell Marsh I said–
 
 <div style="height: 150vh"></div>
 
+# Reed — 2401
+
 "See? You're so weird."
 
 "I guess we are," I said, smiling and nudging Hanne upright once more. A flash of *déjà vu* struck me squarely in the right temple, a headache amid the buzz of alcohol. "Hey now, no falling asleep on me."