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writing/post-self/toledot/index.md
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@ -104,17 +104,17 @@ Nearing the 200th anniversary of System secession from humanity, the System and
* [o] [Secession: phys-side: Yared](secession/phys/Yared/008) - Sure enough, support rapidly swings sys-side, long conversation with TN/Jonas about what it means, starting to see how having his name on the amendment is diving people not just on the subject, but on him, starting to think about death, showing fear that he had at beginning - 2839
* [O] [Launch: sys-side: Ioan](launch/sys/Ioan/010) - Ioan, getting really pissed at how Odists won't just answer eir fucking questions all the way and keep demurring at the last minute, interviews Jonas Prime, who has grown pessimistic, life wants to spread and multiply to make itself stronger, this is the root of the launch: offsite backups; thus why dreamer module was frowned upon: has broadcast w/ information about system, earth, interfacing, etc - 3375
* [O] [Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Pollux](launch/launch/Codrin-pollux/007) - Interviews Ne Jonas, humanity best viewed as a resource to be used or a crop to be tended by System - 2752
* [o] [Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Castor](launch/launch/Codrin-castor/007) - Interviews True Name for second time w/ more info, confronts for truth about the Odists' role in post-secession, confirms, laughs down concerns. - 1717
* [o] Part IV - Arrival (all stories reach present, all discuss irreversibility)
* [o] [Secession: phys-side: Yared](secession/phys/Yared/010) - Vote passes with both secession and L5 amendments intact, those who know him are torn on whether he's a hero or villain; zero compensation/recognition from Demma, who derides the system, why don't you marry it if you love it so much. (secession = irreversibility) - 2192
* [o] [Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Castor](launch/launch/Codrin-castor/008) - Interviews True Name for the last time, learning that True Name/her stanza and Jonas orchestrated the launch from the before the supposed beginning over long years of influence (incl nudging Douglas as soon as he got first job as ansible tech and Michelle nudging her toward the idea of divesting), have been in contact across sys/launch to ensure divergence remains at acceptable levels (irreversible), comes home to Dear, sighs, gets hugs, comfort that the ends aren't bad, even if the means are. - 2183
* [o] [Secession: sys-side: True Name](secession/sys/True-Name/008) - Council meets, celebrates; after, meets with Jonas to discuss ways to ensure stability going forward (growth = irreversibility) - 1466 Expand?
* [o] [Launch: sys-side: Ioan](launch/sys/Ioan/011) - Ioan interviews True Name, finds out they're still everywhere, steering system, difference between conservatives/liberals is scale of manipulation, liberals think too small (see quote below) - 1975
* [o] [Secession: sys-side: Michelle](secession/sys/Michelle/004) - Acknowledges a few years after dissolution of Council that the clade has gotten out of hand, hints that she basically died when forking, irreversible, muses on how broken she must have been to lead to this situation, goes largely into seclusion to keep herself calm/stable, talking only to May Then My Name and a few others - 1599
* [O] [Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Castor](launch/launch/Codrin-castor/007) - Interviews True Name for second time w/ more info, confronts for truth about the Odists' role in post-secession, confirms, laughs down concerns. - 1717
* [O] Part IV - Arrival (all stories reach present, all discuss irreversibility)
* [O] [Secession: phys-side: Yared](secession/phys/Yared/010) - Vote passes with both secession and L5 amendments intact, those who know him are torn on whether he's a hero or villain; zero compensation/recognition from Demma, who derides the system, why don't you marry it if you love it so much. (secession = irreversibility) - 2192
* [O] [Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Castor](launch/launch/Codrin-castor/008) - Interviews True Name for the last time, learning that True Name/her stanza and Jonas orchestrated the launch from the before the supposed beginning over long years of influence (incl nudging Douglas as soon as he got first job as ansible tech and Michelle nudging her toward the idea of divesting), have been in contact across sys/launch to ensure divergence remains at acceptable levels (irreversible), comes home to Dear, sighs, gets hugs, comfort that the ends aren't bad, even if the means are. - 2183
* [O] [Secession: sys-side: True Name](secession/sys/True-Name/008) - Council meets, celebrates; after, meets with Jonas to discuss ways to ensure stability going forward (growth = irreversibility) - 1466 Expand?
* [O] [Launch: sys-side: Ioan](launch/sys/Ioan/011) - Ioan interviews True Name, finds out they're still everywhere, steering system, difference between conservatives/liberals is scale of manipulation, liberals think too small (see quote below) - 1975
* [O] [Secession: sys-side: Michelle](secession/sys/Michelle/004) - Acknowledges a few years after dissolution of Council that the clade has gotten out of hand, hints that she basically died when forking, irreversible, muses on how broken she must have been to lead to this situation, goes largely into seclusion to keep herself calm/stable, talking only to May Then My Name and a few others - 1599
* [o] [Launch: sys-side: Ioan](launch/sys/Ioan/012) - Discusses role of each stanza; kind of freaks out at May b/c like finding out your in-laws-ish are the illuminati, though ey comes around because a) she explains need for control as trauma response, and b) tells myth in progress, about how the gods created the world in an attempt to shape it to their will, but instead became impersonal forces in the face of absolute independence; Ioan and May finally fucking get together, discuss irreversibility of that act, since Ioan didn't fork like Codrin - 2455
* [o] [Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Pollux](launch/launch/Codrin-pollux/008) - Interviews Dear about just how much influence the Ode clade had/still has, what's next (death = irreversible, basically a do-over of the first interview) - 2717
* [O] [Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Pollux](launch/launch/Codrin-pollux/008) - Interviews Dear about just how much influence the Ode clade had/still has, what's next (death = irreversible, basically a do-over of the first interview) - 2717
* [o] REJECTED - combined with previous Ioan chapter <!--[Launch: sys-side: Ioan](launch/sys/Ioan/013) -if the clade exists to explore/exploit need as trauma responses, what do each of the stanzas do (True Name's: political machinations; Praiseworthy's: artistic machinations; Qoheleth's: history/memory machinations), liberal side (not always later lines) has grown more earnest, rebelling against need to control, discusses future with May; sets up visit to Michelle's meadow on one year anniversary as a meaningful thing (but actually to meet with Douglas)-->
* [o] [Launch: phys-side: Douglas](launch/phys/Douglas/009) - Douglas uploads on one year anniversary, talks about necessity of not being on launches, met by Ioan (who organized it as a surprise and gave him basic instructions on how to be clothed and presentable right off the bat) and May in dandelion sim (as TN met Yared), learns about Michelle/Ode Clade via how they got their names. (learning = irreversibility) - 3595
* [O] [Launch: phys-side: Douglas](launch/phys/Douglas/009) - Douglas uploads on one year anniversary, talks about necessity of not being on launches, met by Ioan (who organized it as a surprise and gave him basic instructions on how to be clothed and presentable right off the bat) and May in dandelion sim (as TN met Yared), learns about Michelle/Ode Clade via how they got their names. (learning = irreversibility) - 3595
* [o] Epilogue
* [o] [Launch: launch-side: Codrin#Castor](launch/launch/Codrin-castor/009) - Castor launch's Dreamer Module picks up a signal from another similar ship (actually impersonal POV, though Codrin breaks in occasionally? Ey talked w/ astronomer), Dreamer Module turns out to also contain detailed instructions on how to grow a human. Last bit of irreversibility: can't un-meet a new species (~20 years after launch, into Oort cloud) - 894

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@ -1,20 +1,20 @@
# Tycho Brahe#Castor --- 2346
After a certain point, when you get so far from the sun, the concepts of day and night stop meaning so much, and you rely instead on long habits borne out of a necessity to sleep, and to sleep generally on the same schedule as others. And if you must do that, you might as well follow the same schedule you've always kept, the same day-night cycle that even Earth understands. The same clock ticks across three different Systems.
After a certain point, when you get so far from the sun that transmission times blur into days, the concepts of day and night stop meaning so much, and you rely instead on long habits borne out of a necessity to sleep, and to sleep generally on the same schedule as others. And if you must do that, you might as well follow the same schedule you've always kept, the same day-night cycle that even Earth understands. The same clock ticks across three different Systems.
And so it is that, in some wonderful serendipity, all three members of the Bălan clade are asleep. Both Codrins have fallen asleep with Dear in their arms, as they so often do, while both versions of Dear's partner curl a few inches away, never having done well being touched while sleeping. The foxes fit so nicely against their fronts, their fur so soft.
Ioan sleeps, too, and in eir arms, May dreams. She is somewhere between waking and sleeping, and has been letting herself hover there for the last hour, while she does her best work, building hypnogogic myths out of dreams and reality both. Ioan sleeps with eir arms around her, snoring gently, while she stays curled against eir front, head tucked up under her partner's chin, tail draped loosely over eir hip. The skunk fits so nicely against eir front, her fur so soft.
Perhaps the other Odists sleep and dream and snore and curl, too. End Waking does, one supposes, tired after another day exploring that endless forest, another day climbing trees and clambering through ravines doing his best to wear himself out, to sleep, to stop feeling. Serene probably does, too, so that she can use those dreams to build new landscapes; mountains, perhaps, or maybe a swamp. Some instances of True Name must be sleeping, because we know that she must at some point, but others are likely out and about, walking sims, or perhaps planning with any number of different Jonases, scheming and conniving and workshopping and wargaming.
Perhaps the other Odists sleep and dream and snore and curl, too. End Waking does, one supposes, tired after another day exploring that endless forest, another day climbing trees and clambering through ravines doing his best to wear himself out, to sleep, to stop feeling. Serene certianly does, too, so that she can use those dreams to build new landscapes; mountains, perhaps, or maybe a swamp. Some instances of True Name must be sleeping, because we know that she must at some point, but others are likely out and about, walking sims, or perhaps planning with any number of different Jonases, scheming and conniving and workshopping and wargaming.
Douglas sleeps, out there on the dandelion-speckled meadow that he inherited from his long, long, long lost aunt, though he has since built himself a house. He sleeps alone, for though he has made many friends, he has decided that love was not for him, and that in and of itself makes him happy.
Yared and Debarre and user11824 sleep.
Ezekiel no longer lives on either launch, is no longer a part of the universe, but one might guess that even prophets must sleep.
Ezekiel no longer lives on either launch, is no longer a part of the universe, but one might suppose that even prophets must sleep.
One who is awake, however, is the astronomer who long ago decided to call himself Tycho Brahe when asked for an interview and then simply decided to keep the name. He is not asleep, because he is too busy alternating between being scared shitless and too excited to breathe.
One who is awake, however, is the astronomer who long ago decided to call himself Tycho Brahe when asked for an interview and then simply kept the name as his own. He is not asleep, because he is too busy alternating between being scared shitless and too excited to breathe.
> We hear you. We see you.
@ -32,7 +32,7 @@ Someone out there --- someone smart, someone moving fast --- had heard the repea
Someone very smart had then listened and listened and listened to the looped instructions, taking it all in, learning the language, learning all they could.
Three light hours, though! That was too close, much too close. And fast! He didn't remember their current speed and wasn't collected enough to look, but it must have been nearly as fast as theirs.
Three light hours, though! That was too close, much too close. And fast! He didn't remember their current speed and wasn't collected enough to look, but it must have been faster than theirs.
> We understand the mechanism by which we may meet. We have similar. Instructions to follow.

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@ -1,18 +1,18 @@
# Douglas Hadje --- 2326
The arrangements required for this surprise for May Then My Name quickly began to feel overly complicated to Douglas, but, as Ioan kept reminding him, she was a very complicated person. She was also very perceptive, so there was, apparently, much required to make this plan work.
The arrangements required for this surprise for May Then My Name quickly began to feel overly complicated to Douglas, but, as Ioan kept reminding him, she was a very complicated person. She was also very perceptive, so there was apparently much required secrecy to make this plan work.
The lead-up to uploading, however, was surprisingly easy. He supposed that much of it was that so much excitement combined with so much anxiety eventually left him feeling more numb than anything, some protective emotional reaction that kept him from simply exploding on one of his many, many walks.
But anticlimax is simply the way of the world, and so the night before the one-year anniversary of the Launch arrived, he simply signed a waiver walked to the clinic, answered a few questions, and then underwent the procedure. It was uncomfortable, disorienting, and, were he pressed to pick one, the worst physical experience of his life, but at that point, he was well past any point where he could turn back, and even then, he knew he wouldn't.
But anticlimax is simply the way of the world, and so the night before the one-year anniversary of the Launch arrived, he simply signed a waiver walked to the clinic, answered a few questions, and then underwent the procedure. It was dizzying, disorienting, and, were he pressed to pick one, the worst physical experience of his life, but at that point, he was well past any point where he could turn back, and even then, he knew he wouldn't.
And then, there was simply a brief discontinuity, and then he was standing in a grey cube of a room, naked, dizzy, blinking at a light that seemed to come from nowhere.
There was simply a brief discontinuity, and then he was standing in a grey cube of a room, naked, vertiginous, blinking at a light that seemed to come from nowhere.
Anticlimax indeed.
A quiet voice came from behind him, a soft tenor or low alto that contained an accent that he couldn't place. "Good evening, Douglas. I'm facing the wall, if you're concerned about your nudity, but I'll talk you through fixing that."
A quiet voice came from behind him, a soft tenor that contained an accent that he couldn't place. "Good evening, Douglas. I'm facing the wall, if you're concerned about your nudity, but I'll talk you through fixing that."
He crouched down, covering himself with his hands, and turned slowly. There was a short person standing in the corner of the room, hands clasped loosely behind their back while they faced the wall. They were dressed in a sweater vest and a pale yellow dress shirt. Nice slacks, nice shoes, tousled hair. "Wh-who..." he croaked.
He crouched down, covering himself with his hands, and turned slowly. There was a person standing in the corner of the room, shorter than him, hands clasped loosely behind their back while they faced the wall. They were dressed in a sweater-vest and a pale yellow dress shirt. Nice slacks, nice shoes, tousled hair. "Wh-who..." he croaked.
"Can you guess?"
@ -22,29 +22,17 @@ Ey laughed, nodded. "Well spotted. Now, do you want to get dressed?"
"Please," he said, looking around for clothes. There was only the gray floor, gray walls, gray ceiling.
"Okay, bear with me. I had to look up the script for this, so I hope it makes sense to you. Close your eyes and think about the outfit you know best. It doesn't have to be one that you love or anything, just the one that you're most used to. Got it?"
"Okay, bear with me. I had to look up the script for this, so I hope it makes sense to you."
He squeezed his eyes shut. "Mmhm."
"Now, deep breath in and think to yourself, say to yourself if you feel it necessary, "I really wish I was wearing this now" as you breathe out."
"Aloud?"
"If you'd like."
Douglas nodded, though he knew Ioan couldn't see him. Holding in his mind the jumpsuit he had worn for the last twenty or more years aboard the station, the one he had to wear every single day, whether he wanted or not, he breathed in, held it in his mind, and breathed out.
Suddenly, as if it had always been there, he felt the thin fabric beneath his hands. There were even the briefs beneath that. "Weird," he mumbled.
"May I turn around now?"
When Douglas had been talked through willing his clothing into existence, Ioan asked, "May I turn around now?"
He looked down at himself, along his arms and legs, seeing that the oh-so-familiar jumpsuit was just as he remembered, then said, "Sure."
Ioan nodded and turned to face him, smiling. Ey looked over him searchingly, then laughed. "Is that your work uniformt?"
Ioan nodded and turned to face him, smiling. Ey looked over him searchingly, then laughed. "Is that your work uniform?"
"It's my only outfit," he said. "No other clothes aboard the station. Too much risk of them getting in the way."
"Well, fair enough," the historian said. Douglas could see now that the sweater vest was patterned in a dusty gray argyle and that there was even an understated bow tie to bring the look together. Ey stepped forward, hand extended. "Douglas Hadje, it's nice to meet you at last."
"Well, okay," the historian said. Douglas could see now that the sweater-vest was patterned in a dusty gray argyle and that there was even an understated bow tie to bring the look together. Ey stepped forward, hand extended. "Douglas Hadje, it's nice to meet you at last."
He was surprised at how relieved he felt, even laughing as he accepted the hand to shake. "Wonderful! This is really strange. After a year of talking, it still feels like we're meeting for the first time."
@ -66,7 +54,7 @@ Douglas looked around. The walls offered little but more gray and a faint grid o
Douglass looked em up and down. "You can gain weight, here?"
"No, no. Just that as your image of yourself changes, when you fork, those changes have a tendency to show up." Ey grinned wryly. "You'll see with May. She's far more adept than anyone I've met, except perhaps her cocladist, Dear, at shaping how she looks when she forks."
"No, no. Or, sort of. Just that as your image of yourself changes, when you fork, those changes have a tendency to show up." Ey grinned wryly. "You'll see with May. She's far more adept than anyone I've met, except perhaps her cocladist, Dear, at shaping how she looks when she forks."
"And I can fork, too?"
@ -74,37 +62,7 @@ Douglass looked em up and down. "You can gain weight, here?"
"Uh, I guess so," he said.
"Well, alright." Ioan tilted eir head slightly as though trying to remember the words. "This time, you'll need to think of yourself standing beside yourself. It can be a little difficult, because you'll also need to be thinking about the *intention* of forking. You need to think about there being two different versions of yourself. Then, same thing. Breathe in, then breathe out or speak that intention."
Douglas nodded, closing his eyes again and going through the exercise as described. He kept his eyes closed for a moment longer, then peeked to the side, letting out a shout as he saw another copy of himself, who also shouted and jumped back. "What the hell?"
Ioan laughed, resting a hand lightly on Douglas's --- the original Douglas's --- upper arm. "It's okay, it's okay. You just forked. Can either of you think about the name of your new instance?"
"Like, come up with the-- wait, Douglas Hadje#a33b8ac? How did I know that?"
"It's just part of the whole process. You'll get used to it. It'll get easier, and you won't have to do the breathing thing or close your eyes."
He frowned, nodded. They both did. The new instance said, "And do I just stick around forever?"
Ioan shook eir head. "No, you can quit," ey said, nodding to Douglas#a33b8ac, then nodded to the original Douglas. "And you'll receive his memories."
"What does it feel like?"
"Nothing, really. You'll just suddenly have something you feel like you can almost remember, like a word that's on the tip of your tongue, and then you can either remember it or not. Quitting doesn't feel like anything. Ready to try?"
"I guess," he said.
"Alright. You, #a33b8ac, go through the same exercise and think to yourself, "I'd like to quit." Again, you'll need that intention, like you're done with your task. But Douglas," ey cautioned. "You just watch. Don't do the same, of course."
Douglas nodded and focused on keeping his eyes open. Just to be safe, he thought, *I'd like to stay around.*
He watched as that other version of him hesitated, closed his eyes, breathed in, and then disappeared. After that, it was just as Ioan had said, as though there were a pressure of memories. He focused on them, and realized he *could* remember. He could remember shouting and jumping, remember watching Ioan and himself have conversation.
"Very weird," he mumbled.
"You'll get used to it over time. You're in it for the long haul, now."
They stood in silence for a while, Douglas's mind churning while Ioan waited patiently. There was so much to take in all at once, he could easily see how one could get overwhelmed.
They stood in silence for a while, once Douglas had learned the ins and outs of forking and quitting. His mind was churning while Ioan waited patiently. There was so much to take in all at once, he could easily see how one could get overwhelmed.
"Alright," he said. "What's the plan from here?"
@ -114,11 +72,9 @@ Ioan straightened up. "Well, let's go somewhere less dreary. I want you use that
"You'll get used to them. You'll, uh...you'll find that you can't actually forget anything, here, but that's a problem for future Douglas. Ready?"
He nodded, deciding this time to try keeping his eyes open. As he breathed the intention, he was suddenly standing in a sprawling field. Green grass speckled with dandelions as far as he could see in every direction, all lit by a salmon-colored sunset.
He nodded, deciding this time to try keeping his eyes open. As he breathed the intention, he was, without transition, standing in a sprawling field. Green grass speckled with dandelions as far as he could see in every direction, all lit by a salmon-colored sunset.
There was no transition, he was just...there, as though that's where he'd always been.
A memory tugged itself loose, something May Then My Name had said, and he quickly bent down to pluck at one of the flowers. "Ioan," he said shakily. "Is this...I mean..."
A memory tugged itself loose, something May Then My Name had said, a story she had told months ago, and he quickly bent down to pluck at one of the flowers. "Ioan," he said shakily. "Is this...I mean..."
"Michelle's old sim, yes. I wanted the first place you saw to be one that was important to you. I hope that's okay." Ey paused a moment, then said, "If it's alright, can I ask how you feel about that?"
@ -150,9 +106,9 @@ Ey smiled, nodded. "Of course. Ioan#Tracker is back at home getting pestered by
Ioan laughed and hid a blush by looking down at the flowers, poking eir fingers amid the grass. "Yes. Thank you for the nudge."
"Good. Why don't you go focus on her, then, and I'll sleep here. I'm assuming the same trick works for food and drink, right?"
"Good. Why don't you go focus on her, then, and I'll sleep here. I'm assuming the same trick I used for clothing and such works for food and drink, right?"
"Yes, but start with small things. If you don't remember well enough what something tastes like, you can wind up with some really disgusting stuff. That's why there's still cooking."
"Yes, but start with small things. If you don't remember well enough what something tastes like, you can wind up with some really disgusting stuff. That's why there's still restaurants and cooking."
After Ioan had hugged him, said goodbye, and quit, after he'd had a simple sandwich and some water, Douglas sat on the low rise he'd initially appeared on, watching evening dim to twilight, then twilight to darkness. He'd never been camping, but he'd learned enough about it that he was able to come up with a sleeping bag and pillow, laying awake long into the night, looking up at a dream of stars.
@ -176,7 +132,7 @@ They were facing the other way, so he had a few moments to drink in the sight. I
She was a furry, he could tell that much. There were plenty on the 'net; his erstwhile girlfriend with the cat av was one.
He didn't recognize this species, though. Black, rounded ears, a spray of longer white fur atop her head, simple tee-shirt and shorts, and a long tail with thick fur that looked luxuriously soft. *A skunk? Really?* he thought, and shook his head.
He didn't recognize her species at first. Black, rounded ears, a spray of longer white fur atop her head, simple tee-shirt and shorts, and a long tail with thick fur that looked luxuriously soft. *A skunk? Really?* he thought, and shook his head.
The pair were still talking, hand in...well, paw, he supposed, so he stood up and cleared his throat.
@ -184,19 +140,19 @@ May Then My Name reacted with a speed he'd not expected, whirling around and clu
Remembering Ioan's first words, he grinned. "Can you guess?"
She straightened up and frowned, head tilted, then turned to Ioan, who looked to be holding back laughter, and punched em solidly in the shoulder. "You...you piece of shit! *You* organized this! I know you did! Mx Ioan Bălan, I am absolutely putting sand in your shoes."
She straightened up and frowned, head tilted, then turned to Ioan, who looked to be holding back laughter, and punched em solidly in the shoulder. "You...you piece of shit! *You* organized this! I know you did! Mx. Ioan Bălan, I am absolutely putting sand in your shoes."
Then the skunk leapt at him and, before he could react, nearly tackled him to the ground, her arms tight around his middle. "If you are not Mister Douglas Hadje, master of spaceflight and doctor of something incredibly boring, I will be quite embarrassed. Please tell me you are."
Then the skunk began running, and as she did, dozens of other versions of her flickered into and out of existence around her, all grinning madly. She leapt at him and, before he could react, nearly tackled him to the ground, her arms tight around his middle. "If you are not Mister Douglas Hadje, master of spaceflight and doctor of something incredibly boring, I will be quite embarrassed. Please tell me you are."
"I am, I am," he said, laughing and returning the hug. She was short enough that the top of her head barely came up to his chin. Her fur was incredibly soft against his chin and neck "It's nice to meet you at last."
"Douglas, holy shit. This is absolutely delightful," she said, voice muffled against his shoulder and clouded by tears. Without letting go of the hug, she forked off a copy of herself to hurl at Ioan, who was laughing openly now. This time, she did manage to tackle em to the ground, and the two wrestled around for a moment, shoving at each other, before that instance of May Then My Name quit, leaving Ioan to pick emself up again, dusting grass off eir clothes.
"Douglas, holy shit. Holy shit! This is absolutely delightful," she said, voice muffled against his shoulder and clouded by tears. Without letting go of the hug, she forked off a copy of herself to hurl at Ioan, who was laughing openly now. This time, she did manage to throw her target to the grass, and the two wrestled around for a moment, shoving at each other, before that instance of May Then My Name quit, leaving Ioan to pick emself up again, dusting grass off eir clothes.
Eventually, she released her grip on him and stepped back, holding onto his upper arms and looking him up and down. She nodded approvingly. "Every inch a Hadje. Sort of. You are very tall, and you have lost the round face."
"I have? I mean, I guess that makes sense. Michelle lived two centuries ago. I've seen a few pictures from the news archives, but they took a while to dig up, so I can only guess."
Her expression grew wicked. She forked, and this fork was completely human. Shoulder-length curly black hair, round of face, short, the splitting image...
"Like this?" Her expression grew wicked. She forked, and this fork was completely human. Shoulder-length curly black hair, round of face, short, the splitting image...
"Wait," he stammered. "You can just look like her? The pictures...I thought...I thought that'd be frowned on."
@ -206,7 +162,7 @@ All of his blood was completely replaced with ice water. His voice failed him. A
"You're..."
The woman --- Michelle came and sat on the grass next to him to hug an arm around his shoulders, her expression softening. "I am May Then My Name Die With Me of the Ode clade, Douglas. *Michelle's* clade. It has been a long time since I was actually Michelle, but I once was, yes. I am of Michelle."
The woman --- Michelle? --- came and sat on the grass next to him to hug an arm around his shoulders, her expression softening. "I am May Then My Name Die With Me of the Ode clade, Douglas. *Michelle's* clade. It has been a long time since I was actually Michelle, but I once was, yes. I am of Michelle."
"So..."
@ -218,13 +174,13 @@ He gulped for air, shaking. "You lied to me, then? You..."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
May Then My Name shrugged. "I did not want to because I was going to have fun with the reveal, but I see now that I hurt you instead, for which I am eternally sorry." She sighed. "You are new here, but you will learn about individuation before long. That I look like her and originated from her, I am no more closely related to her than you are. We are both distant cousins of Michelle Hadje."
May Then My Name shrugged. "I did not want to because I was going to have fun with the reveal, but I see now that I hurt you instead, for which I am eternally sorry." She sounded on the edge of tears, and took a moment to calm herself before continuing. "You will learn about individuation before long. That I look like her and originated from her, I am no more closely related to her than you are. We are both distant cousins of Michelle Hadje. I am very sorry, my dear."
He nodded. All that she was saying was swirling around in his mind, wrapped up in the strange, fluent-yet-stilted language that he'd gotten used to over text but now had to get used to in person. He couldn't tell if he was mad at her or happy that he knew or just confused.
"Uh, I'm not feeling...can we talk about something else?" he asked. "And can you go back to looking like someone else?"
"Uh, I'm not feeling...can we talk about something else?" he asked. "And can you go back to looking like someone else? I'm sorry..."
May Then My Name --- the one that looked like Michelle --- quit, and the skunk helped Douglas up, pulling him over to the picnic blanket with her so that she could sit next to him. She tasked the still-grinning historian with setting up the food while they talked.
May Then My Name --- the one that looked like Michelle --- nodded meekly and quit, leaving the skunk to help Douglas up, pulling him over to the picnic blanket with her so that she could sit next to him. She tasked the still-grinning historian with setting up the food while they talked.
"Douglas, my dear, what are you most excited about, now that you have uploaded?" she asked earnestly, paw resting on his knee.
@ -254,16 +210,16 @@ The skunk nodded. "Yes. It is fascinating, though, and we are helpless before fa
He shrugged. "Not really. It's like you say, there's no changing the past."
"May's interviewing you for me," Ioan said, laughing. "Those are all my usual questions. She's getting the hang of it, but needs to work on drawing more out of you."
"May's interviewing you for me," Ioan said, chuckling. "Those are all my usual questions. She's getting the hang of it, but needs to work on drawing more out of you."
May Then My Name rolled her eyes, saying to Douglas, "Do not listen to em. Ey is just gloating over the stunt that ey pulled."
Douglas nodded, grinning. "We pulled, you mean."
Douglas nodded, grinning. "*We* pulled, you mean."
"Both of you?" She shoved at him until he fell over onto his side, laughing. "Beaten at my own game, is that what you think? You think you can out-manipulate an Odist? Out-Hadje a Hadje?"
"Wait, both of you?" She shoved at him until he fell over onto his side, laughing. "Beaten at my own game, is that what you think? You think you can out-manipulate an Odist? Out-Hadje a Hadje?"
"I think we can out-manipulate *you*, dear." Ioan popped the cork on a bottle of champagne, then poured a glass for each of them. "You're easy. All we have to do is play to your hopeless romanticism."
"Yes, well, fuck you too. Give me my champagne."
The rest of the day from there on was, beyond any shadow of a doubt, the happiest that Douglas had ever had. He learned of the Ode, of the Name. He learned of Codrin and Dear. He learned of all of the vast vagaries of the System, of the new arts and the subtle sciences that could exist only outside of the physical world. He learned, watching the way Ioan and May Then My Name looked at each other, spoke to each other, touched each other, what happiness even was, and that he was a part of it lent more of a sense of completion than any celebration could.
The rest of the day from there on was, beyond any shadow of a doubt, the happiest that Douglas had ever had. He learned of the Ode and of the Name. He learned of Codrin and Dear. He learned of all of the vast vagaries of the System, of the new arts and the subtle sciences that could exist only outside of the physical world. He learned, watching the way Ioan and May Then My Name looked at each other, spoke to each other, touched each other, what happiness even was, and that he was a part of it lent more of a sense of completion than any celebration could.