update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/motes/007.md

@@ -261,6 +261,8 @@ A Finger Pointing snorted. "You are not wrong, my love. Motes at her youngest ha
 
 "Well, whatever you do," Waking World said cautiously, "be careful. Keep yourselves safe above all else. If not from her, then at least from your own anger."
 
+She nodded and pushed herself slowly to her feet, swaying for a moment. "We will," she said, bowing to him and turning to Beholden. "My dear, I am quite done, will you take me home?"
+
 -----
 
 Letter after letter, topic after topic. They became rote. They became routine. They became a signature of Hammered Silver after every little decision that A Finger Pointing made which did not meet her standards. Every little decision that *anyone* made, if what True Name and Praiseworthy had to say was true.
@@ -346,7 +348,53 @@ A Finger Pointing nodded stiffly, agreed, and scheduled the next lunch date.
 
 -----
 
-((bitterness and compromises with Dry Grass - see discord notes from Pointillist))
+The walk home was slow, any faster, and she feared that she might stumble.
+
+Beholden walked with her paws stuffed into the pockets of her hoodie, mostly looking down to her feet as they trudged along the sidewalk, while A Finger Pointing walked with her arm looped through her partner's, trusting the skunk to get them both home.
+
+She needed it; the world had indeed stopped making sense, as though seen in watercolors, too much ink on canvas. The sound of their footsteps on gravel and concrete and grass was a fine grit within her ears.
+
+In a fit of play some decades back, one of her ephemeral up-tree instances had quit right as they started to crash and she, ever curious, had accepted the merge. After all, when else would she ever know what a crash felt like without crashing herself?
+
+The effects were both subtle and drastic.
+
+They were subtle for their insidious nature. The sensation of the crash was startling, painful, a dissolution of the self that she had not expected. The pain had come in the sensation of her entire sensorium catching fire all at once. The dissolution of self had come with those nerves-on-fire rapidly unwinding. And even after she returned home, even after she slept, the memory of that sensation lingered within her.
+
+It was more than just a memory, though. It lingered there, quiet, beneath her own senses. She felt that pain waiting for her, felt the way her every nerve, no matter which sense it controlled, was pulled taut.
+
+They were drastic because now here she was, some decades hence, still suffering, still feeling the way her vision and hearing and touch and taste and sense of smell all were affected, and when the stress rose, so too did these sensations.
+
+Beholden led her through the door and into their house, guided her to the couch, and bade her sit. She returned a moment later with a glass of lukewarm water, lest the cold from the tap burn her throat. She drank carefully and then lay back against the cushions.
+
+"I am tired, Beholden."
+
+"I know, love," the skunk said, sitting beside her on the couch. 
+
+She could still comprehend, at least, and could still see Beholden there beside her, a look of tired concern painted on her face.
+
+"Do you need anything else?"
+
+She shook her head. "Nothing in particular, no, though if you could stay here for a little while, I would appreciate that."
+
+"Do not be ridiculous," Beholden said, grinning wanly. "Like I would ever fucking leave. I *am* going to send a fork to go check on Dot, though."
+
+"Please do so, yes."
+
+A second skunk appeared to the other side of Beholden, pushing herself up and padding to go poke her head into Motes's room, then quitting from there. "She is asleep still, I think, or close enough. She has not moved."
+
+A Finger Pointing sighed. "I suppose she would not have, no." She rolled her head to the side to glance at her partner, saying, "I have an idea for what to do, but I am worried about what it will mean."
+
+"'What it will mean'? Not what it will accomplish?"
+
+"Yes. I do not think that you will like it, but I think it will accomplish much of what Waking World said. It will get her to just leave us alone. To leave Motes and Dry Grass be."
+
+Beholden nodded slowly. "That is good, then."
+
+"It will just mean a bit of a compromise on my morals." She paused, organizing her thoughts. "It will mean letting some of this hurt through. It will mean letting Hammered Silver get to me — just a little bit — so that she can feel a little bit of a victory. It is a compromise."
+
+The skunk bridled. "You are right. I do not like it at *all.* That is a shitty fucking compromise."
+
+She chuckled drily, took another sip of water. "To be fair, my muse, neither do I, but if it gets her to fuck off for good, then so be it."
 
 -----