update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/012.md

@@ -6,9 +6,9 @@ The narrowness of the cots had frustrated Ioan and May throughout the night. The
 
 Whether or not True Name had actually slept seemed up in the air. She had shrugged noncommittally when asked, but it certainly didn't look like she had.
 
-Conversation was equally awkward. May apologized stiffly to her down-tree instance over breakfast of further sandwiches and True Name accepted graciously enough, but then they fell into silence again.
+Conversation was equally awkward. May apologized stiffly to her down-tree instance over breakfast of further sandwiches and True Name accepted graciously enough, but then they fell back into silence.
 
-After breakfast, there was little else to do but head back home. The camp remained set up. Ioan couldn't begin to guess how to take down the tents, given how distracted ey'd been while End Waking had been setting them up. *Besides,* ey reasoned. *Best to keep them around just in case things go sideways.*
+After breakfast, there was little else to do but head back home. They left the camp set up. Ioan couldn't begin to guess how to take down the tents, given how distracted ey'd been while End Waking had been setting them up. *Besides,* ey reasoned. *Best to keep them around just in case things go sideways.*
 
 They decided to leave forks behind in case anything went wrong, then Ioan took each of the skunks' paws and stepped back home.
 
@@ -22,7 +22,7 @@ May leaned up and dotted her nose against eir cheek. "You, my dear, are an utter
 
 True Name followed them into the den. "Please. I am going to fall over if I do not have something."
 
-May flopped down onto her usual beanbag and rubbed her paws over her face while True Name sat at the dining table and Ioan made coffee. "If it is alright by you two, I am going to take a shower after coffee, as hot as I can stand, and then we can work on the addition."
+May flopped down onto her usual beanbag and rubbed her paws over her face while True Name sat at the dining table and Ioan made coffee. "If it is alright by you two, I am going to take a shower after coffee, as hot as I can stand," she said. "And then we can work on the addition."
 
 "Sure. I can start by mirroring our room and then stripping personal items while you're getting cleaned up."
 
@@ -30,21 +30,21 @@ May flopped down onto her usual beanbag and rubbed her paws over her face while
 
 Ioan nodded, finishing up the coffee prep --- eirs black and both of the skunks' sweet and creamy --- and carrying the mugs to each of them. "I guessed," ey said, setting one down in front of True Name. "Let me know if you need anything different."
 
-Ey sat down carefully by May and held both of their coffees while the skunk scooted in close against em as usual before handing hers over. It felt good to be back in a more comfortable setting, back where em and May could could at least get close, even if everything still felt nerve-wracking. 
+Ey sat down carefully by May and held both of their coffees while the skunk scooted in close against em as usual before handing hers over. It felt good to be back in a more comfortable setting, back where May and em could could at least get close, even if everything still felt nerve-wracking. 
 
 They drank in silence for a while, minus a thank you from each of the skunks, each of them doing their best to un-cringe from last day's worth of anxiety.
 
 It worked a little too well, perhaps, as ey had to nudge May awake to finish her coffee and shower, and the prospect of levering emself out of the beanbag felt out of reach to em. All the same, ey needed to at least get the other room created, then perhaps the three of them could nap.
 
-Once May was on her way to the shower, ey stood, finished eir coffee, and began to work. Ey dumped a series of intents into the sim. A doorway cut itself out of the wall opposite the doorway to eir own bedroom. A room extruded itself beyond the doorway, filling itself with all of the very same stuff that eirs and May's contained. The sim's boundaries whined in protest at not having enough for the windows to look out on and, too tired to think of any other options, ey mirrored the yard as well so that True Name's room looked out over the same grass and dandelions.
+Once May was on her way to the shower, ey stood, finished eir coffee, and began to work. Ey dumped a series of intents into the sim. A doorway cut itself out of the wall opposite the doorway to eir own bedroom. A room extruded itself beyond the doorway, filling itself with all of the very same stuff that eirs and May's contained. The sim's boundaries whined in protest at not having enough for the windows to look out on and, too tired to think of any other options, ey mirrored the view of the yard as well so that True Name's room looked out over the same grass and dandelions.
 
 *If she stays for any real length of time, maybe I can just mirror the rest of the house and she can have a full setup.*
 
-That was enough for now, though. Ey got started going through the room from top to bottom, wiping it of eirs and May's presence. Anything that wasn't the bed, the nightstands, and any other furniture was either evaluated and either left for its decorative value or swiped away to nothingness. A damp May joined em partway through the exercise, and by the time they were done, the room was left clean and neat, sparsely decorated without being oppressively empty.
+That was enough for now, though. Ey got started going through the room from top to bottom, wiping it of eirs and May's presence. Anything that wasn't the bed, the nightstands, and any other furniture was evaluated and either left for its decorative value or swiped away to nothingness. A damp May joined em partway through the exercise, and by the time they were done, the room was left clean and neat, sparsely decorated without being oppressively empty.
 
 "Hopefully it's not too bleak," ey said once May had fetched True Name. "I gave you some ACLs over the space if you need to make or recycle anything. Just let me know if the room itself needs changing."
 
-The skunk stood, silent and still, for nearly a minute, leaving em to fidget while May looked on, frowning.
+She stood silent and still for nearly a minute, leaving em to fidget while May looked on, frowning.
 
 Finally, she cleared her throat and said hoarsely. "This is more than enough, my dear. I do not know why you two...but, well, perhaps I should get cleaned up and then we can talk proper. I am perhaps a little too emotional for that at the moment."
 
@@ -54,7 +54,7 @@ They both bowed and backed out of the room to let True Name shut the door behind
 
 "You okay?" ey murmured, once she was properly nestled against em, head tucked up under eir chin.
 
-"I am tired, my dear. I am tired and I am stressed and I am...I do not know. Conflicted, perhaps."
+"I am tired, Ioan. I am tired and I am stressed and I am...I do not know. Conflicted, perhaps."
 
 "How do you mean?"
 
@@ -72,7 +72,7 @@ She tightened her grip around em. "Thank you, my dear."
 
 When True Name finished her shower and grooming, looking far more herself than she had since the year before, they sat around the dining table to hash out boundaries.
 
-"I do not want to impose on you more than I already have," the skunk began. "I will certainly stay out of your private space, and I figure a closed door is a plain enough signal to be left alone. Should I stick to my room for the most part?"
+"I do not want to impose on you more than I already have," she began. "I will certainly stay out of your private space, and I figure a closed door is a plain enough signal to be left alone. Should I stick to my room for the most part?"
 
 May let out a snort of laughter. "I am sorry, True Name. I do not mean to laugh, but I have never heard you so deferential in my life."
 
@@ -108,4 +108,4 @@ Ey shook eir head. "Alright, alright. Only concerns I have right now are taking
 
 "Excellent. About fucking time," May said, patting eir hand. "I will join you for the nap and try to be up for lunch."
 
-"Naps all around," True Name added. "Again, thank you two."
+"Naps all around," True Name agreed. "Again, thank you two."