update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/marsh/004.md

@@ -419,7 +419,7 @@ The other category seemed to be made mostly of furries of some sort. These, at l
 
 Beneath Your Tongue also appeared hand-in-paw with a skunk, Which Offers Heat And Warmth In Fire. Heat And Warmth was much slimmer, however, almost wiry. She launched emself immediately at Serene and wrapped its arms around her before catching my eye. "Reed, yes? Hanne said you would be here."
 
-I nodded and started to reply before cutting myself off as a few more Odists showed up in quick succession. Another skunk, looking far more prim and proper than the others, arrived and shot Dry Grass a quick glance. I couldn't quite read her expression, but she certainly didn't look happy. If she was this Then I Must In All Ways Be Earnest, it perhaps made sense, as the next Odist to arrive was a human introduced as The Only Time I Dream Is When I Need An Answer.
+I nodded and started to reply before cutting myself off as a few more Odists showed up in quick succession. Another skunk, looking far more prim and proper than the others, arrived and shot Dry Grass a quick glance. I couldn't quite read her expression, but she certainly didn't look happy. If she was Then I Must In All Ways Be Earnest, it perhaps made sense, as the next Odist to arrive was a human introduced as The Only Time I Dream Is When I Need An Answer.
 
 She was the first to speak, calling aloud to the twenty or so people on the field, "Thank you all for coming, and thank you as well to those who have set aside differences enough that we may meet."
 
@@ -437,7 +437,7 @@ More muttering — darkly, this time.
 
 "–several instances were missing. At this point, the missing instances number about one and a half billion, though that number continues to climb.
 
-"I have re-acquired my sys-side engineer credentials through an expedited process, which has led to me talking to a phys-side engineer on the Lagrange station named Günay. While she appears to be somewhat restrained in what she is willing or able to tell me, she was at least able to confirm or deny guesses as I made them. She has confirmed that the missing instances are due to corrupted data, that Lagrange experienced full downtime, and that phys-side engineers were finally able to get it running at full capacity last night."
+"I have re-acquired my sys-side engineer credentials through an expedited process, which has led to me talking to a phys-side engineer on the Lagrange station named Günay. While she appears to be somewhat restrained in what she is willing or able to tell me, she was at least able to confirm or deny guesses as I made them. She has confirmed that the missing instances are due to corrupted data, that Lagrange experienced full downtime, and that phys-side engineers were finally able to get it running at full capacity just last night."
 
 Dry Grass paused, taking a deep breath. "Here are the things she was not able to confirm, but which I do not believe were outright denials. She was not able to confirm the reason for the downtime and did not respond to any of my guesses. However, as this discussion took place over AVEC, I was able to see her as she spoke. I asked if there was any physical damage to the System hardware: no change. I asked if there was any permanent damage to the System internals: no change. I asked if there was any trouble phys-side that led to the downtime: she looked down to her hands on the desk. Finally, I asked if this downtime might have been intentional, whether there might have been malice behind it: she looked off-screen, her expression appearing tense, perhaps frightened."
 
@@ -449,7 +449,7 @@ There followed nearly half an hour of silence. Most of the Odists looked distant
 
 By the end, many of them were in tears.
 
-"Alright," Need An Answer said. "The amount provided to me is 748. Combined with those who are not here and who have responded, there are 1,338 Odists. Please now provide tallies of how many of these instances are missing."
+"Alright," Need An Answer said. "The amount provided to me is 748. Combined with those who are not here and who have responded, there are 1,338 Odists. Please now provide tallies of how many of these instances are missing."
 
 "Why?" In All Ways asked. Her expression had shifted from upset to unnerved.
 
@@ -463,11 +463,11 @@ Another, longer silence followed. By now, more of them were sitting in the grass
 
 Silence fell for a third time. Silence except for sniffles.
 
-My own were included, as were Sedge's and Tule's. The number was unimaginable. 48 billion! Yes, many of those instances were ephemeral, merely those sent out on errands or to enjoy multiple parties to ring in the new year. How many did not matter, though. Even if only one percent of those who were lost were long-lived instances, that was still, 480 million dead.
+My own were included, as were Sedge's and Tule's. The number was unimaginable. 48 billion! Yes, many of those instances were ephemeral, merely those sent out on errands or to enjoy multiple parties to ring in the new year. How many did not matter, though. Even if only one percent of those who were lost were long-lived instances, that was still 480 million dead.
 
 The loss of Marsh suddenly felt insignificant, and with that feeling of insignificance came an anger, a despair. 
 
-"Are other clades seeing the same?" Rush asked. "We are seven and have lost one. We've lost fourteen percent, you've lost two percent. Are you expecting that you'll really be representative."
+"Are other clades seeing the same?" Rush asked. "We are seven and have lost one. We've lost fourteen percent, you've lost two percent. Are you expecting that you'll really be representative?"
 
 Dry Grass shook her head. "The threads on the feeds focused on similar tallies show that many clades have experienced zero losses, while others have been all but destroyed. A branch of the CERES clade has reported a loss of more than 99.9%, while another experienced almost no losses."
 
@@ -493,7 +493,7 @@ The skunk didn't reply other than to continue whispering 'no' quietly.
 
 "The other lost line is No Longer Myself. She no longer associated with the clade, but did maintain her identity as one of the lines of the first stanza. Of the others I know who have rescinded their clade membership, Sasha, E.W., and May Then My Name all remain in some capacity."
 
-Looking quite frustrated, A Finger Pointing spoke up. "And what of beloved long-lived instances? Do they not count? I have lost one of mine. I have lost A Finger Curled."
+A Finger Pointing spoke up, casting a careful sidelong glance at her partner, Beholden. "We have spoken of the Ode, yes, of the two lines, but we should not omit those long-lived instances that were lost. I have lost one of my own up-trees. I have lost A Finger Curled."
 
 At this, Beholden burst into tears, eventually rolling to the side to slip out of the sim. A Finger Pointing quickly forked to follow while the other instance remained.
 
@@ -503,13 +503,13 @@ At this, Beholden burst into tears, eventually rolling to the side to slip out o
 
 Dry Grass tilted her head thoughtfully. "None of my forks have reported any success along that front. Most, however, are still processing. When I asked Günay, she simply shrugged and said, "I do not know. Perhaps there is something that can be done sys-side, but best efforts were made in recovering lost data phys-side.""
 
-"Are any of you, love?"
+"Are any of your forks working on that, love?"
 
 "Working on recovery? Yes, I have an instance working on collating information on that topic. Need An Answer?"
 
 She nodded. "Several, yes, and from across the stanzas."
 
-"*Yitgaddal veyitqaddash shmeh rabba,*" one of the gathered, From Whence Do I Call Out, began to chant. "*Be'alma di vra khir'uteh...*"
+"*Yitgadal v'yitqadash sh'meh raba,*" one of the gathered, From Whence Do I Call Out, began to chant. "*B'alma di-vra chiruteh...*"
 
 Dry Grass lowered her head as several of the other Odists joined. After a moment, she forked and gathered the Marshans around her, setting up a cone of silence above us.