update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/033.md

@@ -380,17 +380,23 @@ May's response to the discussion of encroached boundaries, later that night when
 
 True Name stared coolly at her. "And here I was worried that you would blow up at me."
 
-(( You can do better than this ))
+"Of course not, my dear. If you are like me, then I, of all people, can guess the hows and whys."
 
-"Of course not, my dear. If you are like me, then I, of all people, can guess the hows and whys. My position remains that, so long as everything was discussed in the open, veto-able, and come by earnestly, we will make it work." She smiled and sat beside True Name, patting the skunk's paw. "Which is not to diminish *your* feelings on the matter. How are you doing?"
+"It mattered quite a bit to me."
 
-"If I say 'confused' one more time, I am going to lose my mind. I do not have a better word for it, though. I do not know how I feel about the touch itself. It was fine, I am sure, but I am starting to think that what is so jarring to me is that it was almost an automatic action."
+"I do not mean to diminish that, True Name." She smiled and sat beside True Name, patting the skunk's paw.
 
-Ioan nodded. "It felt a bit incongruous because it's a hundred percent something you'd do, May, but not the same context."
+True Name sighed. "Thank you, I do believe you, it is just...a heap of complex feelings."
 
-"And perhaps that is why it feels fine to me: it is what I would do, I would expect nothing less from someone with so much of me as part of them now. I would like you both to feel comfortable, of course, but I am more...well, 'concerned' is not quite the right word, but attentive to the emotional side than you two just physically touching," May said, shrugging. "Though I do appreciate you keeping me apprised. I trust you on that."
+"That much I believe. I want to understand better, though. How are you doing?"
 
-"Well, thank you," True Name said, rubbing at her face, though whether out of exhaustion or to forestall tears, ey couldn't tell. "The other thing we discussed, though, was setting a deadline of one month to get this shit with Jonas out of the way."
+"If I say 'confused' one more time, I am going to lose my mind. I do not have a better word for it, though. I do not know how to feel about Ioan. I do not know how to feel about myself. I do not know how I feel about the touch . It was fine, I am sure, but I am starting to think that what is so jarring to me is that it was almost an automatic action."
+
+Ioan nodded. "It felt a bit incongruous because it's a hundred percent something you would've done, May, but not the same context."
+
+"And perhaps that is why it feels fine to me: it is what I would do and so I would expect nothing less from someone with so much of me as part of them now. I would like you both to feel comfortable, of course, but I am more...well, 'concerned' is not quite the right word, but attentive to the emotional side than you two just physically touching," May said, shrugging. "Though I do appreciate you keeping me apprised. I trust you on that."
+
+"Well, thank you," True Name said, rubbing at her eyes, though whether out of exhaustion or to forestall tears, ey couldn't tell. "The other thing we discussed, though, was setting a deadline of one month to get this shit with Jonas out of the way."
 
 May perked up. "Are you feeling ready, then?"
 
@@ -408,9 +414,9 @@ Ey shrugged. "I've got my notes all in order. I don't want to do it at all, but
 
 True Name smirked, leaned over and tugged at May's tail. "You have, yes."
 
-May pulled her tail around to hug it protectively. "Yes, yes. I know."
+May pulled her tail around to hug it protectively. "Yes, yes. I know. I am perhaps more struck by the need to help than Ioan."
 
-The conversation trailed off from there, Ioan and May cozying up and chatting via sensorium messages once True Name had started to doze, using May's thigh as a pillow. She caught em up on gossip from Debarre --- one of his boyfriends visited and was, apparently, quote the looker --- and ey accused her of leaving em for the weasel, as ey always did when she visited him.
+The conversation trailed off from there, Ioan and May cozying up and chatting via sensorium messages once True Name had started to doze, using May's thigh as a pillow. She caught em up on gossip from Debarre --- one of his boyfriends visited and was, apparently, quite the looker --- and ey accused her of leaving em for the weasel, as ey always did when she visited him.
 
 Eventually, even they fell to silence, and when May started to nod off as well, ey roused the two skunks. "Come on, beds are comfier than couches."
 
@@ -430,7 +436,7 @@ Ey reached out and gave her paw a squeeze. "Thanks, True Name. Tomorrow."
 
 She smiled gratefully and, after a hug from May, made her way to her room and out to her tent on the plain, visible as a bobbing lantern moving through the grass.
 
-Ioan and May made their way to their own bed and, once they were settled in, May asked, "I do not want to push, my dear, but I would like to hear your thoughts if you need to think on things."
+Ioan and May made their way to their own bed and once they were settled in, May asked, "I do not want to push, my dear, but I would like to hear your thoughts if you need to think on things."
 
 Ey stretched out on eir back and stared up at the ceiling, letting May settle in against eir side to use eir shoulder as a pillow. "As nerve-wracking as it was in the moment, I think I'm just...over it. Maybe it's the fact that my introduction to your stanza was through you getting all cuddly that it just doesn't feel like a huge deal to me." Ey ducked eir chin to kiss atop her snout. "Though obviously it's complicated, since that led to you and I getting together, but you're also just a cuddly person all around."
 
@@ -444,7 +450,7 @@ She tucked her snout up under eir chin, rubbing it against eir jaw at the tickli
 
 "That is just what one does," May asserted. "And, I will note, not what you are doing right now."
 
-Ey laughed and ruffled a hand over her ears before petting the fur down again. "Fine, fine. But that's what I mean, I guess. It's just how skunks are. I'm sure some of it's my denseness around this sort of thing at play, but what made me anxious was her freaking out. She's done a pretty good job of taking our concerns to heart, but I hadn't picked up on her own anxieties until then."
+Ey laughed and ruffled a hand over her ears before petting the fur down again. "Fine, fine. But that's what I mean, I guess. It's just how skunks are, in my experience. I'm sure some of it's my denseness around this sort of thing at play, but what made me anxious was her freaking out. She's done a pretty good job of taking our concerns to heart, but I hadn't picked up on her own anxieties until then. I'm over it, but I guess she isn't."
 
 "Well, perhaps all of our preparations only made her more anxious," May mumbled, chin dipped low as ey rubbed behind her ears. "She still has all of those memories of solitude and professionalism, as well."
 
@@ -462,7 +468,7 @@ The context shift had just been so fast, though, and despite all the differences
 
 She frowned, nodded. "I will not ask you to betray that, of course."
 
-"Maybe I'm more stressed than I'm giving myself credit for, if my mumbling's getting that bad."
+"Maybe I'm more stressed than I'm giving myself credit for, if my mumbling's getting bad enough to break someone's confidence."
 
 The skunk's expression softened and she leaned forward to dot her nose against eirs. "I do not blame you. There is so much going on these days."