update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/026.md

@@ -28,7 +28,7 @@ Ey nodded and teased a few fingers through her fur. "I can see that, I guess. Ev
 
 "I think we agree on that. How do you mean 'unfair', though?"
 
-She twisted around until she could poke her nose at em. "Because it would be an act that I would take. Even if we all were to agree, it is me that is changing our relationships. I would be the one taking away that uniqueness and turning it into a burden."
+She twisted around until she could poke her nose on em. "Because it would be an act that I would take. Even if we all were to agree, it is me that is changing our relationships. I would be the one taking away that uniqueness and turning it into a burden."
 
 Ioan tugged the skunk up a little further until ey could get eir arms around her. Something about her words didn't sit right with em, and ey needed at least a little bit of time to think it out.
 
@@ -100,7 +100,7 @@ True Name was still kneeling before the pile of wood in what had clearly become
 
 "We are not married," May said, growling nearly as well as True Name. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
 
-"Oh, just popping in to say hi, is all," he said cheerily. "Zacharias, by the way. Nice to meet you, Ioan. My dear May Then My Name, it has been nearly two centuries!"
+"Oh, just popping in to say hi, is all," he said cheerily. "Zacharias, by the way. Nice to meet you, Ioan. My dear May Then My Name, it has been nearly two hundred years!"
 
 "Well, hi," she said. "Now get out."
 
@@ -132,7 +132,7 @@ May laughed humorlessly. "Right, and poor Zack just had to sit by and--"
 
 The fox was up in a flash and, with a back-handed swipe, slapped the skunk across the muzzle, getting a yelp out of her and a shout out of Ioan. "You do not have permission to use that name," he growled.
 
-It took Ioan a few seconds to process what had just happened, but then fury welled up within em faster than any other emotion ey'd felt before. Had ey ever even felt fury before? A small part of em marveled at the unfamiliar emotion.
+It took Ioan a few seconds to process what had just happened, but then fury welled up within em faster than any other emotion ey'd felt before. Had ey ever even felt fury before? A small part of em marveled at the unfamiliar feeling.
 
 The rest was already swinging.
 
@@ -170,7 +170,7 @@ And with that, he stepped out of the sim.
 
 May's shoulders slumped. She let go of eir hand, moved over to kneel beside True Name, and hugged around her shoulders. "I am sorry, my dear."
 
-True Name did not return the gesture. No surprise, perhaps; neither she nor End Waking were all that big on touch. Instead she said, "I am sorry, you two. I do not know how they got the coordinates."
+True Name did not return the gesture. No surprise, perhaps; neither she nor End Waking were all that big on touch. Instead she said, "I am sorry, you two. I do not know how they got the address to the sim."
 
 Ioan cursed. "Guess that does mean it's compromised."
 
@@ -184,7 +184,7 @@ The skunk stared into the fire for almost a full minute, the looked off to the l
 
 True Name knelt by the fire for another minute before dousing the flames with a collapsible pail of water.
 
-Once they made it back to the house and True Name had showered, they sat around the dining table, each with a glass of wine from a bottle ey'd received years back. They'd wordlessly agreed that a drink was necessary.
+Once they made it back to the house and True Name had showered, they sat around the dining table, each with a glass of wine from a bottle ey'd received years back. They'd wordlessly agreed that a drink was in order.
 
 Ioan couldn't guess why the two skunks had felt it was necessary, but ey needed something to blunt the edges of that anger that still spun within em. Ey wasn't sure ey'd ever truly felt fury before, but it turned out that watching eir partner get struck across the face was a really, really good way to bring out the emotion.
 
@@ -210,7 +210,7 @@ The silence that followed was even more tense than the one before, both skunks l
 
 May sniffled, shrugged, then smiled tiredly to em. "I am pretty sure he thinks he is me, Ioan."
 
-Ey blinked, then slouched back in eir seat. It felt like the breath had been knocked out of em. "Wait, really?"
+Ey blinked as the pieces clicked into place, then slouched back in eir seat, feeling like the breath had been knocked out of em. "Well, huh."
 
 "You see now why I was so upset?"
 
@@ -230,7 +230,7 @@ Ey frowned, but nodded for them to continue.
 
 "Yes. It was a long game. He drifted in and out of my life, over the centuries, and then, shortly before Launch, he showed up again and we began to get close. A few years after Launch, they took me out to dinner and dropped the whole thing on me all at once. I am told they did the same on each of the LVs as well, just with different framing."
 
-Eir head was swimming at the flood of information, and when rubbing eir face didn't work to clear it, ey waved a glass of ice water into being and sipped. "Which I don't get. Why are you so overwhelmed here and not on the LVs?"
+Eir head was swimming at the flood of information, and when rubbing eir face didn't work to clear it, ey willed the drunkenness away and waved a glass of ice water into being. "Which I don't get. Why are you so overwhelmed here and not on the LVs?"
 
 The skunk twisted her wine glass between her fingers for a few quiet moments. "I was focused on continuity and stability. I think that Jonas was as well, enough to go along with the launch project, but once it was done and that continuity was assured, he let them go their own ways --- the Guiding Council on Pollux and the previous status quo on Castor --- while he focused on cementing his power here on Lagrange. They were safely away with minimal influence here."
 
@@ -240,7 +240,7 @@ She nodded. "We were in a steady state for many years after they explained every
 
 They sat in silence, then, while Ioan tried to digest this. Ey was still furious at Zacharias, but now that fury had gained a layer of what almost felt like despair, that someone such as that might have their roots in eir May.
 
-At least it had all gone a long way towards explaining the dynamic on the three Systems. Who knew why the other True Names had decided to treat this one like they had, withholding valuable information, all but cutting her out of their plans. Perhaps those few years between launch and Jonas and Zacharias's announcement had included additional shaping, or perhaps that other framing True Name had mentioned.
+At least it had all gone a long way towards explaining the dynamic on the three Systems. Who knew why the other True Names had decided to treat this one like they had, withholding valuable information, all but cutting her out of their plans. Perhaps those few years between launch and Jonas and Zacharias's announcement had included additional shaping, that other framing True Name had mentioned.
 
 "Fuck."