update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/toledot/launch/sys/Ioan/006.md

@@ -36,19 +36,19 @@ May nodded.
 
 "It's just..." Ey frowned, hunting for the words. "It's just that we have limitless time and limitless space and all the creativity we could hope to use, and still I sometimes feel trapped, as though I'm stuck in this tiny, constrained space where I can barely move and can't hope to stretch out. Does that make sense?"
 
-"It is not a feeling I share, but I can see how one might," May said, carefully shifting the backpack from between them to the other side of her so that she could lean against em. "It is like when one asks "is that all there is?" and the answer comes back "yes, of course"."
+"It is not a feeling I share, but I can see how one might," May said, carefully shifting the backpack from between them to the other side of her so that she could lean against em. "It is the feeling one gets when one asks "is that all there is?" and the answer comes back "yes, of course"."
 
-"Yeah," ey murmured. As May rested her head against eir shoulder, ey turned her head to place a kiss between her ears. Ey did not remember when ey had first started doing that, but it had long since become habit. Every time ey remembered that it had been an act that was out of character for em until May moved in, some part of em raced around in circles to try and find out what had changed and why.
+"Yeah," ey murmured. As May rested her head against eir shoulder, ey turned eir head to place a kiss between her ears. Ey did not remember when ey had first started doing that, but it had long since become habit. Every time ey remembered that it had been an act that was out of character for em until May moved in, some part of em raced around in circles to try and find out what had changed and why.
 
 *It's just...May. That's just how she is,* ey kept reminding emself. *There is no explaining an Odist.*
 
-"It's been happening more and more since the idea of the launches first started to take off. It happened before, of course, but I think coming to the understanding that this isn't exactly all there is, that there's also stuff outside the System and far away from the Sun...well, it just kind of rubbed my face in it. "You're stuck here, Ioan Bălan," it says. "You're not going to be on the launch, and even if you were, that wouldn't be you. There'd be no merging of experiences.""
+"It's been happening more and more since the idea of the launches first started to take off. It happened before, too, but I think coming to the understanding that this isn't exactly all there is, that there's also stuff outside the System and far away from the Sun...well, it just kind of rubbed my face in it. "You're stuck here, Ioan Bălan," it says. "You're not going to be on the launch, and even if you were, that wouldn't be you. There'd be no merging of experiences"."
 
 May laughed. "I find freedom in that. Not only will I not have to do any of that work, but I will also get to be one of the shitheads that stays behind."
 
 "And that's a bonus?"
 
-"Of course it is, dear. When was the last time you had the luxury of staying behind? Of *having* to stay behind?"
+"Of course it is, dear. When was the last time you had the luxury of staying behind? Of that being a one-way decision?"
 
 Ey frowned.
 
@@ -80,7 +80,7 @@ The skunk dipped her muzzle. "That is difficult to say. They are each sensitive
 
 Ioan laughed.
 
-"And Codrin?"
+"And Codrin?" she said.
 
 "I expect ey's struggling, in eir own way. Were I confronted with something like that, I'd be able to keep it together throughout the interview, but afterwards, I'd have to spend a lot of time just decompressing."
 
@@ -122,11 +122,11 @@ She shook her head. Or at least Ioan thought she did. It was hard to tell, with
 
 "May, please, at least slow down! You're going to pull me over."
 
-Rather than slowing down, the skunk all but skidded to a stop, leading Ioan to nearly collide with her. As it was, ey had to stumble to the side to keep from bowling her over.
+Rather than slowing down, the skunk skidded to a stop, leading Ioan to nearly collide with her. As it was, ey had to stumble to the side to keep from bowling her over.
 
 "May?"
 
-"I'm sorry."
+"I am sorry."
 
 Ey frowned at the stricken expression on her face, the tear-tracks in cheekfur. "Do you want us to stop? Stop talking to Odists? If you want to help guide us to better places to look, we can take a break from it."