update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/013.md

@@ -32,17 +32,17 @@ Ey laughed. "I don't know, I think it might be a you thing. May seems pretty fon
 
 Ey showed her where they kept the mugs, then the cream and sugar for doctoring coffee and spoons for stirring. Once the pot finished brewing and all three cups had been poured, ey excused emself back to the bedroom with eirs and May's coffee to finish waking up with eir partner.
 
-And so it continued. They would speak in the morning and over dinner, perhaps a few times throughout the day, but otherwise, they worked on their own projects. They'd say good morning to each other, say good night to each other, say polite things in passing. Little of it felt like it was done out of kindness, but rather out of a need to remain cognizant of each others' presence.
+And so it continued. They would speak in the morning and over dinner, perhaps a few times throughout the day, but otherwise, they worked on their own projects. They'd say good morning to each other, say good night to each other, say polite things in passing. Little of it felt like it was done out of kindness, but rather out of a need to remain cognizant of each others' presence, to keep a semblance of peace through performative normalcy.
 
 Even the weather felt careful. The snow first melted and then was replaced when a new storm lay down a delicate few inches.
 
-It wasn't until the third full day since their return that the spell was broken, when, shortly after lunch, True Name stepped into her field of view, bowed, and politely requested a conversation with May.
+It was the third full day since their return when the spell was broken. Shortly after lunch, True Name stepped into her field of view, bowed, and politely requested a conversation with May.
 
 The skunk frowned and beckoned her over to the couch.
 
 True Name apologized to Ioan, then set up a cone of silence with secure visual ACLs.
 
-Three days was just long enough to start building up habits, such that Ioan was left anxious and jittery when they were broken. Seeing it from the outside for the first time, ey was left with a slight sense of disorientation from the way the cone blurred both the occupants and the background, the edges of its boundaries unnervingly sharp.
+Three days was just long enough to start building up the scaffolding of habits, such that Ioan was left anxious and jittery when they were jostled.. Seeing it from the outside for the first time, ey was left with a slight sense of disorientation from the way the cone blurred both the occupants and the background, the edges of its boundaries unnervingly sharp.
 
 There was nothing to be gained from watching the indistinct shapes within. A quiet conversation had them simply looking like two black forms against the relative brightness of the balcony. Ey couldn't see expressions, couldn't see but the most grandiose of body language.
 
@@ -50,7 +50,7 @@ And yet ey watched, slipping over to the kitchen to clean, or at least dream up
 
 It was boring, and that it was boring only drove eir anxiety higher.
 
-The conversation lasted nearly an hour, and when the cone dropped, ey was greeted once again by the sight of the two skunks. To say that neither looked happy missed the mark: True Name had a dullness to her expression, something between resignation and hopelessness, while May looked apoplectic. She'd clearly been crying quite hard at one point.
+The conversation lasted nearly an hour, and when the cone dropped, ey was greeted once again by the sight of the two skunks. To say that neither looked happy missed the mark: True Name had a dullness to her expression, something between hopelessness and resignation, while May looked apoplectic. She'd clearly been crying quite hard at one point.
 
 Ey ducked around the kitchen counter as quickly as ey could. "May? True Name? Are you--"
 
@@ -62,11 +62,11 @@ True Name shrugged, the movement looking as though she was struggling against do
 
 Ey frowned, feeling eir own anger rise out of anxiety. "Well? What's been happening? I don't exactly like seeing her that upset."
 
-"No, I suppose not." She sighed and slouched against the back of the couch, rubbing at her forehead. "I explained the shift between Jonas and I over the last twenty-five years. I explained the last few weeks."
+"No, I imagine not." She sighed and slouched against the back of the couch, rubbing at her forehead. "I explained the shift between Jonas and I over the last twenty-five years. I explained the last few weeks."
 
 "And pissed her off."
 
-She rolled her head to the side, enough get a sidelong glance at em. "I am sorry, Ioan. I cannot be the only one to know these things. I have had all of my existing support removed. All of my forks, all of my cocladists, most of my friends. It is small consolation, I am sure, but I have left May Then My Name angrier at Jonas than I think she ever was at me."
+She rolled her head to the side, enough get a sidelong glance at em. "I am sorry, Ioan. I cannot be the only one to know these things. I have had all of my existing support removed. All of my forks, all of my cocladists, most of my friends. I have had to cancel all of my appointments with Sarah. It is small consolation, I am sure, but I have left May Then My Name angrier at Jonas than I think she ever was at me."
 
 Ey blinked and straightened up. "At Jonas?"