update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/019.md

@@ -74,7 +74,7 @@ Ey stayed quiet. Ey wasn't sure how much to push or back off, whether or not the
 
 Realizing the sensitive nature of the question, ey held up eir hands. "Sorry, I asked that without thinking. I was wondering if you wanted a partner, even if you felt your image wouldn't allow that."
 
-Another long silence followed before she spoke again. "Had you asked me that prior to the merge, I do not think I would have been comfortable answering, but in the context of the memories I now share of Debarre, I think that has changed into a solid 'I do not know'. I do not know if I wanted a partner, because I think it was more important for me to think about maintaining my image than it was for me to think about love on some subconscious level."
+Another long silence followed before she spoke again. "Had you asked me that prior to the merge, I do not think I would have been comfortable answering, but in the context of the memories I now share of Debarre, I think that has changed into a solid 'I do not know'. I do not know if I wanted a partner, because it was more important for me to think about maintaining my image than it was for me to think about love on some subconscious level."
 
 Ey finished eir coffee and toyed with the empty mug, rotating it first this way and then that on the table while ey thought. Eventually, the two skunks fell into quiet, polite conversation, talking about something ey was too distracted to care about.
 

writing/post-self/mitzvot/020.md

@@ -98,4 +98,30 @@ Ey looked outside, at the scant inch of snow left after the last storm. "It's no
 
 Ey laughed and leaned down to kiss the side of the skunk's muzzle. "Well, alright. Don't fall over onto the table or anything."
 
+The rest of the afternoon passed easily enough. It was slow and boring, perhaps, but they did what they could to keep themselves entertained. Ioan walked. May did not manage a hand-stand, but she did wind up laying half off the couch, head nearly to the floor, for half an hour. They made lunch. They read.
 
+But always, there was an air of waiting. They were waiting for True Name to return, yes, but ey felt like they were also waiting for the other shoe to drop. They were waiting for her to feel whole again. They were waiting for everything to fall into place (or at least close enough) so that they could do this meeting with Jonas and get it over with.
+
+The skunk returned shortly before dinner. Both Ioan and May sat up straighter. The skunk looked dirty and scuffed up, and while her expression wasn't grim, it came close.
+
+*Overflowing,* ey thought, then tamped it down.
+
+She bowed to them from the entryway and said, "Ioan, May Then My Name, thank you for hosting me and for all of your kindness."
+
+Ey frowned. "But...?"
+
+"Yes. But I need out. I need to be elsewhere. I walked as far as I could into the hills from the lake and, while I found the boundary of the sim, it is far enough away that I do not think I will feel cramped."
+
+"Wait, what? You're moving to Arrowhead Lake?"
+
+"If you decide to keep my room here, I may come back, but, my dear, I am going to lose my fucking mind if I simply stay in--" She sighed, took a deep breath, recomposed herself. "I am going to spend a few days out at the lake. I need...away. I need away from walls. I need away from you two, nice as you are, away from all of your happiness and comfort. I need away from speaking, from dwelling on the last few weeks. I need solitude."
+
+May had shied away from her down-tree instance the instant her temper started to rise, but Ioan stood eir ground as best ey could.
+
+"Well, alright. It's no trouble keeping your room, of course, and I guess there's the tents already out there."
+
+She nodded, subsiding at the reasonable tone in eir voice. "Yes. Thank you for understanding."
+
+"Is there anything we can do to help?"
+
+"

writing/post-self/mitzvot/index.md

@@ -48,8 +48,8 @@ Wherein True Name and May reconcile, and we deal with the problem of the ownersh
 * [.] Apprehension --- EW merges down and TN has to deal; Ioan and May have to consider ramifications
     * [.] CHAPTER Ioan 2350
         * [o] [Retreat: perspective](018) --- TN recovering, trying to reconcile her calling vs penance
-        * [ ] [Retreat: memories](019) --- After talking with TN about her memories from EW about Debarre, Ioan starts to feel icky about TN having May's memory of their relationship
-        * [ ] [TN Choose Fear]() --- TN says she can't deal, pulls back from both May and Ioan, stays at Arrowhead lake with new camping knowledge (We learn about TN's relationship)
+        * [o] [Retreat: memories](019) --- After talking with TN about her memories from EW about Debarre, Ioan starts to feel icky about TN having May's memory of their relationship
+        * [ ] [TN Choose Fear](020) --- TN says she can't deal, pulls back from both May and Ioan, stays at Arrowhead lake with new camping knowledge (We learn about TN's relationship)
         * [ ] [May Choose Fear]() --- May overflows (just a few days), claims the home
     * [ ] CHAPTER Debarre 2350
         * [ ] [Ioan chooses fear]() --- Ioan's really struggling with the idea of May merging, but also really wants to help, but now May's gone, goes to stay with Douglas, who calls Debarre over for historical context