update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/010.md

@@ -94,7 +94,7 @@ Focusing on the set of steps required, ey triggered the sweep, then checked the
 
 *Seventeen swept.*
 
-"*S," ey mumbled. Ey'd checked the whole of the inside of the house, and could see no footsteps out in the snow, so unless everyone was hiding under the balcony or up on the roof, ey'd clearly missed at least some of them inside.
+"*Să-mi fut una,*" ey mumbled. Ey'd checked the whole of the inside of the house, and could see no footsteps out in the snow, so unless everyone was hiding under the balcony or up on the roof, ey'd clearly missed at least some of them inside.
 
 Now wasn't the time to be thinking about it, though.
 
@@ -146,13 +146,13 @@ The skunk gave em a quizzical look, then laughed. "Gross, Ioan."
 
 "Yes, yes. I agree, awkward. But here comes True Name, no need to be more awkward than we already are."
 
-They stood up and brushed off their pants as the skunk came padding around the last bend in the trail, looking utterly exhausted.
+They stood up and brushed off their pants as the skunk came trudging around the last bend in the trail, looking utterly exhausted.
 
 "Thank you for giving me the space," she said, bowing. "And my apologies for the trouble of today."
 
 "It's not--" Ey caught emself up short and shook eir head. "Well, are you okay?"
 
-The skunk shook her head. "I am not, no. I am very nearly on the edge of collapse. I feel like I could either sleep or cry for three days straight. Both, if it were possible."
+The skunk shook her head. "I am not, no. I am very nearly on the edge of collapse. I feel like I could either sleep for three days straight or cry for three days straight. Both, if it were possible."
 
 May took a deep breath, held it for a slow count of three, and very carefully let it out. "I am sorry, True Name."
 
@@ -164,11 +164,11 @@ Watching nervously, Ioan fiddled with the hem of eir vest. So much had happened
 
 The skunk gave up on maintaining her expression and hid her face in her paws, nodding. "Thank you," she croaked.
 
-Once she'd washed her face and calmed down enough to speak, the three of them set to work deciding what the next steps were. May suggested they stay at the lake for the night, explaining that they'd need time to sort out a living situation for True Name and that she wanted to go over their place with a fine-toothed comb before spending the night there again, anyway. After hearing about the spies, she was quick to agree. 
+Once she'd washed her face and calmed down enough to speak, the three of them set to work deciding what the next steps were. May suggested they stay at the lake for the night, explaining that they'd need time to sort out a living situation for True Name and that she wanted to go over their place with a fine-toothed comb before spending the night there again, anyway. After hearing about Jonas, she was quick to agree. 
 
 True Name merely nodded. "Is there a place here that I can stay?" she asked.
 
-May winced and shook her head. "It would be camping. We can make that work for tonight if we can scrounge up some gear, but a long-term solution is not feasible. This is not our sim and we do not have ACLs to build here."
+May winced and shook her head. "It would be camping. We can make that work for tonight if we can scrounge up some gear, but a long-term solution is not feasible. This is not our sim and we do not have ACLs to build here or remove any unwanted visitors."
 
 She nodded. "I understand. I will dig--"
 
@@ -210,7 +210,7 @@ End Waking rested a paw on Debarre's shoulder before the weasel could speak agai
 
 The skunk nodded, looked thoughtful for a few seconds, and then waved his paw, bringing into being between them two folding camp cots, two bedrolls, a tent, two bundles of firewood, and some simple food --- bread, salami, and cheese.
 
-"I will come help you set up," he said. "It is all fairly straightforward, but tents require four hands."
+"I will come help you set up," he said. "It is all fairly straightforward, but tents require four paws."
 
 Ioan sighed, nodded. "Thank you, End Waking. We'll, uh...we'll need three sets, though."
 
@@ -256,6 +256,6 @@ When the skunk had left, ey quit and merged back down to eir root instance.
 
 Both skunks shook their heads.
 
-"Alright," ey said. Ey wasn't hungry either, ey realized. The tail end of eir anxiety just had em jittery. Once ey set that aside, ey realized just how exhausted ey was.
+"Alright," ey said. Ey wasn't hungry either, ey realized. The tail end of eir anxiety just had em jittery, wanting to keep moving. Once ey set that aside, ey realized just how exhausted ey was.
 
 They sat in quiet well into the evening, instead, each of them trying to digest the day in their own way.