update from sparkleup
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The next few days passed in relative peace. There were no fights between the two skunks, and while, at least once a day, they set up a cone of silence to talk about whatever it was that True Name had discussed that first time, there were no more instances of May falling apart or True Name wearing herself out quite so badly. The discussions sounded serious, and never quite friendly, but ey was at least somewhat happy to see the two cocladists talking without quite so much ire between them.
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The next few days passed in relative peace. There were no fights between the two skunks, and while, at least once a day, they set up a cone of silence to talk about whatever it was that True Name had discussed that first time, there were no more instances of May falling apart or True Name wearing herself out quite so badly. The discussions sounded serious, and never quite friendly, but ey was at least somewhat happy to see the two talking without quite so much ire between them.
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May wasn't the only one, either. At one point, Time Is A Finger Pointing At Itself and one of her up-tree instances, Where It Watches The Slow Hours Progress visited to talk with True Name. Both were far more earnest in their affection to her, which she seemed to welcome with a sense of cautious relief. Ey supposed it made sense, given A Finger Pointing's habit of making friends with everyone she could.
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May wasn't the only one, either. At one point, Time Is A Finger Pointing At Itself and one of her up-tree instances, Where It Watches The Slow Hours Progress visited to talk with True Name. Both were far more earnest in their affection toward her, which she seemed to welcome with a sense of cautious relief. Ey supposed it made sense, given A Finger Pointing's habit of making friends with everyone she could.
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Ey'd only met Slow Hours once prior and, while she was just as friendly as her down-tree instance, she also seemed somewhat removed from the world as a whole, as though seeing just a little more than everyone around her. "Clairvoyance," A Finger Pointing had whispered to em after that first introduction. "She has the outline of the world."
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@ -20,7 +20,7 @@ It was her discussions with End Waking that really knocked em off-kilter, though
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"That is what we have been talking about, yes. I shared...I mean, I told him what she told me, and it has changed things."
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"Are you sure that's even a good idea?" ey asked when she explained her idea. "I mean, won't that just make her feel worse if she also has to deal with all of that regret?"
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"Are you sure that's even a good idea?" ey asked. "I mean, won't that just make her feel worse if she also has to deal with all of that regret?"
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May fiddled with the corner of the top sheet. They'd sat up in bed, the topic not feeling quite right for pillow-talk. "Possibly, yes. I do not think that it would be permanently detrimental. If she has a fuller view of the world, perhaps she will be better able to engage with it with empathy."
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@ -56,9 +56,9 @@ They stayed quiet until they worked their way under the covers again, cozying up
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Ey kissed the back of her ears and shushed her to sleep.
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What kept coming back again and again was the feeling of just how small this project felt --- if ey'd been assigned to it as amanuensis, might as well call it what it was. There were so few people involved. True Name and Jonas, then em, May, and End Waking on the periphery. Five people, three clades. It was intimate, in that sense. True Name and Jonas were larger-than-life most of the time, but having been forced into sharing space with her, ey was far more able to see the True Name of today as just someone in over her head and Jonas as a power-hungry asshole.
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What kept coming back again and again was the feeling of just how small this project felt --- if ey'd been assigned to it as amanuensis, might as well call it what it was. There were so few people involved. True Name and Jonas, then em, May, and End Waking on the periphery. Five people, three clades. It was intimate, in that sense. True Name and Jonas were larger-than-life most of the time, but having been forced into sharing space with her, ey was far more able to see the True Name of today as just someone caught up in a storm and Jonas as the force behind that storm.
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And then there was emself, caught in the middle as Codrin#Castor had felt almost four years back.
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And then there was emself, as powerless as Codrin#Castor had felt almost four years back.
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The next morning saw both of the skunks more relaxed than ey'd seen them yet. They talked pleasantly over breakfast, and True Name even stuck around, sitting on the couch and watching the snow melt off the balcony while May and Ioan worked, her on her monologue and em reading back through the volume of *An Expanded History of Our World* that focused on the Council of Eight --- and the Odist and Jonas clades --- in the centuries after its dissolution.
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@ -68,13 +68,13 @@ After lunch, True Name returned to the couch with a glass of water and, after a
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"Honest answer or pithy one?"
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"Both?"
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"Both."
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True Name laughed. "The pithy one is that I am bored and lonely, and this seems to be my best bet at solving either. The honest answer is that I am bored and lonely and, even if the circumstances are not ideal, I want to at least try not to mope in my room all day."
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"You've said you spend most of your time working interacting with your instances, yeah," Ioan said. "I imagine it's been pretty quiet."
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"You've said you spend most of your time working interacting with your instances, yeah," Ioan said, turning eir desk chair to face the couch. "I imagine it's been pretty quiet."
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"Yes. My instances, some up-tree cocladists, instances of Jonas, those of my...friends." The last word sounded almost bashful for reasons ey couldn't place. She shrugged and continued, "And now I am without all of those. No instances, none of my up-tree cocladists are responding, I do not wish to speak with Jonas for obvious reasons, and the relationships I have with my friends are all bound up in that."
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"Yes. My instances, some up-tree cocladists, instances of Jonas, those of my...friends." The last word sounded almost bashful for reasons ey couldn't place. She shrugged and continued, "And now I am without all of those. No instances, none of my up-tree cocladists are responding, I do not wish to speak with Jonas for obvious reasons, and the relationships I have with my friends are largely bound up in that."
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May nodded. "I do not know if we are the ideal company for you, given our interests, but at least we can try, I suppose."
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@ -110,7 +110,7 @@ True Name jolted upright in her seat on the couch. "What the fuck is--"
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"Accept it," May said, and ey could see the full force of all her centuries of earnestness focused on her cocladist; earnestness, kindness, the right tone, the perfect cant of ears and bristle of whiskers, all of it fine tuned to show her just what she needed to see. "It will only help, True Name."
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Her face contorting with the strain of holding what must be a very large high priority merge at bay without either remembering or forgetting it, True Name gasped. "May... May Then... Why..."
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Her face contorting with the strain of holding what must be a very large high-priority merge from End Waking at bay without either remembering or forgetting it, True Name gasped. "May... May Then... Why..."
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May's expression softened further, picking up a hopeful smile. "Please, my dear. I think you need this. I think we *all* need this, if we are to move forward, if you are to be able to move past what Jonas wants of you. Please accept. Please."
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@ -138,7 +138,7 @@ Ey guided her carefully to the bench swing to sit her down, letting her cry hers
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"I am sorry, my dear," she said when she could speak again at last. "Really, truly sorry."
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Ey shook eir head, kissing her atop the head. "You don't need to apologize to me. Is she alright?"
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Ey shook eir head, kissing her between the ears. "You don't need to apologize to me. Is she alright?"
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"She should be," she mumbled.
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@ -152,7 +152,7 @@ She nodded, swallowing down that wave of tears as best she could. "We are good a
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"Did something go wrong, then?"
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"End Waking has not merged down in more than a century and a half; even when Michelle quit, all she had to do was let the memories fall onto her and then quit herself. He has diverged quite far in that time, as is to be expected, which means the potential for conflicts."
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"End Waking has not merged down in more than a century and a half. Even when Michelle quit, all she had to do was let the memories fall onto her and then quit herself. He has diverged quite far in that time, as is to be expected, which means the potential for conflicts."
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Eir frown deepened. Ey thought ey could tell where this was going. "Aren't those usually just when memories don't line up, though?"
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@ -180,7 +180,7 @@ There was a long silence before she replied. Ey watched her count her breaths, o
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Ey nodded. "We've talked about that, yeah."
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"Right. I think that part was hoping that it would be a rough merge to knock her down a peg, yes," she said, then let out a shaky sigh. "I did not think it would be this bad, though. I am really sorry, Ioan. I want to be a good person."
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"Right. I think that part was hoping that it would be a rough merge to knock her down a peg, yes," she said, then let out a shaky sigh. She was starting to shiver from the cold. "I did not think it would be this bad, though. I am really sorry, Ioan. I want to be a good person."
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Hugging her tightly to em, ey said, "It's okay, May. We'll just have to see what comes of it."
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