update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/020.md

@@ -8,10 +8,8 @@ There was still work to be done, of course. May still had her monologue, which s
 
 For eir part, ey still had a few projects on eir plate, not least of which was the upcoming book project that had been requested by Jonas. Ey poked at this every now and then, outlining the events to date and throwing a few thousand words at it here and there.
 
-<!--ONLY IF SELECTED LETTERS GETS FUNDED
-
+<!--ONLY IF SELECTED LETTERS GETS FUNDED-->
 Mostly, though, ey dealt in letters to and from the other members of eir clade. Vast, dramatic events were happening elsewhere --- as they always seemed to when an Odist was involved --- and ey couldn't simply put them away to deal with all that was going on at home. The break from dealing with the affairs of True Name and Jonas was a welcome one.
--->
 
 The one conversation of note came on the fourth day after the merge, when the skunk asked, "How did you two get together?"
 
@@ -39,9 +37,9 @@ The skunk hesitated, gaze drifting away from her cocladist. "Ask another questio
 
 The skunk only shrugged.
 
-"Well, I think the events with Qoheleth got me thinking about existence here on the System. My own, sure, but in general. Prior to that, I think I lived my life solely as an observer of others. I'd watch people and write what they did and turn it into a story, and I was just kind of...I don't know. Transparent?" Ey shrugged. "I was just a pair of glasses to be used by others. I relied really heavily on memory to do my job, though, and it wasn't until that was specifically called out and brought into question that I started thinking of myself as a full person, which then got me thinking about how I interact with those around me. That's where Codrin came from, I think"
+"Well, I think the events with Qoheleth got me thinking about existence here on the System. My own, sure, but in general. Prior to that, I think I lived my life solely as an observer of others. I'd watch people and write what they did and turn it into a story, and I was just kind of...I don't know. Transparent?" Ey shrugged. "I was just a pair of glasses to be used by others. I relied really heavily on memory to do my job, though, and it wasn't until that was specifically called out and brought into question that I started thinking of myself as more than an observer, which then got me thinking about how I interact with those around me. That's where Codrin came from, I think"
 
-May chimed in. "Ey was the version of you who learned that most strongly, perhaps. You were left with the memories of it to work with, without the context of the experience."
+May chimed in. "Ey was the version of you who learned that most strongly, perhaps. You were left with the memories of it to work with, but without the context of the experience."
 
 "Right. It was nice watching em grow closer to others and open up to a relationship."
 
@@ -51,7 +49,7 @@ Ey shrugged. "I don't know how else to put it. I felt compersion for them, like
 
 True Name nodded. "That is the word I would use to describe my feelings towards May Then My Name, if it is not too forward of me to say."
 
-Eir partner smiled and reached out across the dining table to pat at True Name's paw.
+May smiled and reached out across the dining table to pat at True Name's paw.
 
 "It is what I feel for End Waking and Debarre, too, though in a far more round-about way. I have memories of the ways in which End Waking changed in order to let Debarre into his life, but I cannot place them in context. I do not have what is required to understand them, I may watch them, I may understand one at a time, but integration of all of them eludes me. Those experiences which are left to integrate are the ones clashing the most." She gave a frustrated sigh and shook her head. "I can remember what it feels like to fall in love but not what to do then. I can remember what it feels like to be in love but not how I got there."
 
@@ -79,7 +77,7 @@ And with that, she stepped from the sim.
 
 May groaned and crossed her arms on the table, resting her head on them. "I do not know what to think about her. I do not know what to think about any of this."
 
-Ey echoed her movement, resting eir head on one of eir arms while the other petted over her ears a few times. "Me either. I don't know where that conversation came from, and...well, it went alright, but I have no idea what she was asking about, so I kept feeling like I was about to fall in some conversational pit."
+Ey slouched in eir chair for a moment before reaching out to pet over her ears a few times. "Me either. I don't know where that conversation came from, and...well, it went alright, but I have no idea what she was asking about, so I kept feeling like I was about to fall in some conversational pit."
 
 She lifted her snout enough to bump her nose against eir wrist, then nodded. "It is things like this --- the conversation and the thoughts that come with it --- that keep me hesitant about any decision to merge down. I do not know if it would help her or kill her."
 
@@ -89,7 +87,7 @@ She lifted her snout enough to bump her nose against eir wrist, then nodded. "It
 
 Ey looked outside, at the scant inch of snow left after the last storm. "It's not that bad."
 
-"It is in all ways bad. Still cold."
+"It is in all ways bad. It is cold."
 
 "Mmhm, still cold. Still, it might be worth making a coffee and bringing it out there to keep the hands warm, if only so I can pace."
 
@@ -101,7 +99,7 @@ Ey looked outside, at the scant inch of snow left after the last storm. "It's no
 
 Ey laughed and leaned down to kiss the side of the skunk's muzzle. "Well, alright. Don't fall over onto the table or anything."
 
-The rest of the afternoon passed easily enough. It was slow and boring, perhaps, but they did what they could to keep themselves entertained. Ioan walked. May did not manage a hand-stand, but she did wind up laying half off the couch, head nearly to the floor, for half an hour. They made lunch. They read.
+The rest of the afternoon passed easily enough. It was slow and boring, perhaps, but neither seemed to want any excitement. Ioan walked. May did not manage a hand-stand, but she did wind up laying half off the couch, head nearly to the floor, for half an hour. They made lunch. They read.
 
 But always, there was an air of waiting. They were waiting for True Name to return, yes, but ey felt like they were also waiting for the other shoe to drop. They were waiting for her to feel whole again. They were waiting for everything to fall into place (or at least close enough) so that they could do this meeting with Jonas and get it over with.
 
@@ -113,7 +111,7 @@ May shrugged. "If she is anything like True Name, yes. If she is anything like E
 
 She sighed. "If she is both, then I do not know. If she is both, perhaps she is finding some new way to let loose all of those emotions she could not speak before.
 
-The skunk returned shortly before dinner. Both Ioan and May stood to greet her. The skunk looked dirty and scuffed up, and while her expression wasn't grim, it came close. There was frustration there, perhaps anger as well.
+True Name returned shortly before dinner. Both Ioan and May stood to greet her. She looked dirty and scuffed up, and while her expression wasn't grim, it came close. There was frustration there, perhaps anger as well.
 
 *Overflowing,* ey thought, then tamped it down.
 
@@ -125,7 +123,7 @@ Ey frowned. "But...?"
 
 "Wait, what? You're going to stay at Arrowhead Lake?"
 
-"If you decide to keep my room here, I will come back, but, my dear, I am going to lose my fucking mind if I simply stay in--" She sighed, took a deep breath, recomposed herself. "I am going to spend a few days out at the lake. I need...away. I need away from walls. I need away from you two, nice as you are, away from all of your happiness and comfort. I need away from speaking, from dwelling on the last few weeks. I need solitude."
+"If you decide to keep my room here, I will come back, but I am going to lose my fucking mind if I simply stay in--" She sighed, took a deep breath, recomposed herself. "I am going to spend a few days out at the lake. I need...away. I need away from walls. I need away from you two, nice as you are, away from all of your happiness and comfort. I need away from speaking, from dwelling on the last few weeks. I need solitude."
 
 May had shied away from her down-tree instance the instant her temper started to rise, clutching tightly at eir hand, but Ioan stood eir ground as best ey could.
 
@@ -137,9 +135,9 @@ She nodded, subsiding at the reasonable tone in eir voice. "Yes. Thank you for u
 
 "Can you grant me ACLs to create supplies? There is nothing to hunt."
 
-"Hunt?" Ey frowned, then shook eir head. "Right, sorry. End Waking always did. You should...you should have them now."
+"Hunt?" Ey frowned, then shook eir head. "Right, sorry. End Waking always did. You should...there. You should have them now."
 
-She nodded. Much of her time out there must have been spent cataloguing what she'd need in order to survive, going off of memories that were now hers, as it took her less than ten seconds and a wave of the paw to create an axe, a knife, and two canvas bags ey assumed were full of reasonably stable food and other such tools. This was followed by her forking a few times over, shifting her outfit one article of clothing at a time. It struck a middle-ground between her ordinary conservative dress and End Waking's ranger garb, one with canvas leggings and a sturdy shirt, over which she wore a leather jerkin with what looked to be a detachable hood. It usually wasn't worth it to fork just to re-clothe oneself, but she seemed antsy to be away and on her own, not to mention that lingering air of frustration about her.
+She nodded. Much of her time out there must have been spent cataloguing what she'd need in order to survive, going off of memories that were now hers, as it took her less than ten seconds and a wave of the paw to create an axe, a knife, and two canvas bags ey assumed were full of reasonably stable food and other necessary tools. This was followed by her rapidly forking a few times over, shifting her outfit one article of clothing at a time. It struck a middle-ground between her ordinary conservative dress and End Waking's ranger garb, one with canvas leggings and a sturdy shirt, over which she wore a leather jerkin with what looked to be a detachable hood. It usually wasn't worth it to fork just to re-clothe oneself, but she seemed antsy to be away and on her own, not to mention that lingering air of frustration about her.
 
 "Thank you both," she said, more quietly this time. "Earnestly. It does mean a lot that you have both thought to help so much. I will be in touch."
 
@@ -151,11 +149,11 @@ May took a solid minute to un-cringe from the whole experience, slowly relaxing
 
 "Is overflowing?"
 
-The skunk nodded.
+She nodded.
 
-Ey sighed, nodded. "That was my guess, too. I was going to say it came on pretty quick, but the last few days make a lot more sense with that as context."
+Ey sighed. "That was my guess, too. I was going to say it came on pretty quick, but the last few days make a lot more sense with that as context."
 
-With a sigh, May leaned forward and rested her forehead against eir upper arm. Her tail hung limp and her ears were splayed out to the sides.
+May leaned forward and rested her forehead against eir upper arm. Her tail hung limp and her ears were splayed out to the sides.
 
 Ey extricated eir hand from her paws so that ey could turn and get eir arms around her, careful not to jostle too much. Ey leaned down to kiss between her ears, murmuring, "How about you, May?"
 
@@ -173,8 +171,8 @@ She rested her head against eir shoulder. "No, but...I do not know, my dear. Eve
 
 She nodded. 
 
-"Can I stay for tonight? I'll help get some food prepped and some of my stuff in order. It'll give me a chance to contact Douglas, too."
+"Can I stay for tonight? I'll help get some meals prepped and some of my stuff in order. It'll give me a chance to contact Douglas, too."
 
 "Of course, my dear. I am not...there yet, but I am close."
 
-"Well, come on, then. Let's get some food in you and we can take it easy for the night and finish the preparations in the morning."
+"Well, come on, then. Let's get some food in you and we can take it easy for the night and finish in the morning."