update from sparkleup

writing/post-self/mitzvot/034.md

@@ -102,7 +102,9 @@ Ey posted the cap of eir pen and nodded for Jonas to continue.
 
 "Because you love to hear yourself talk," ey said. "And because Zacharias is right. This is almost cartoonishly evil, and villains love talking about their grand schemes. I'm ready for your monologue."
 
-Jonas raised his eyebrows and a slow grin spread over his features. "You see, this is why I like you, Ioan. The whole Bălan clade, that is. You hit that sweet spot between patient and impatient where you can stay calm, but you don't just wait forever."
+Jonas raised his eyebrows and a slow grin spread over his features. That feverish glint ey'd seen before shown through for a moment before it was suppressed again. The idea that Jonas might be losing it made em anxious. *Stretched too thin, maybe?* ey thought.
+
+"You see, this is why I like you, Ioan," Jonas said. "The whole Bălan clade, that is. You hit that sweet spot between patient and impatient where you can stay calm, but you don't just wait forever."
 
 Ey waited.
 
@@ -110,9 +112,9 @@ Ey waited.
 
 "This AVEC?"
 
-Zacharias frowned, but Jonas was already nodding, "Got it in one. That's right at the top of the list. See, that one requires some hardware changes that neither of the LVs are going to be able to manage, and that puts us in a unique position, here. Suddenly, we differ from the LVs in a fundamental way. I really can't overstate how big of a deal this is, Ioan."
+Zacharias frowned, but Jonas was already nodding, "Got it in one. That's right at the top of the list. See, the LVs are too far away to communicate effectively with phys-side and getting further every day, and that puts us in a unique position, here. Suddenly, we differ from the LVs in a fundamental way. I really can't overstate how big of a deal this is, Ioan."
 
-"Suddenly we have to prove our greener grass to those phys-side?"
+"Suddenly we have to prove our greener grass to those phys-side."
 
 "Right. The direction that we need to take with Lagrange can't just be the same old one we've been taking before. In this, True Name and I disagreed." He shrugged, rocking his glass gently back and forth on the table before taking another sip. "She wanted to continue on her path of subtlety, I disagreed."
 
@@ -128,13 +130,13 @@ Ioan rolled eir eyes.
 
 Jonas laughed. "Oh?"
 
-"Yeah. A few reasons." Ey started ticking off points on eir fingers as ey spoke. "First, True Name didn't start down this path in the last few years that we've been learning from Artemis; she was a mess when she first got in touch with us with Codrin#Artemis's first letter during convergence, so things were already in motion then. Second, The Guiding Council on Pollux is almost twenty years old now, predating the arrival of the Artemisians by nearly ten years, and I think that's because third, you--" Ey nodded to Zacharias. "--apparently dropped everything on her across all three systems at the same time not that long after the launch. You two got more openly together on Pollux, and as far as Codrin#Castor can find in the perisystem, you quit shortly after telling her there. End Waking thinks --- and I agree --- you're trying to push each of the Systems in a different direction politically. Maybe you think having different political environments is more stable across societies separated by distance and time. Maybe it's some giant experiment. Who knows. It's your long game."
+"Yeah. A few reasons." Ey started ticking off points on eir fingers as ey spoke. "First, True Name didn't start down this path in the last few years that we've been learning from Artemis; she was a mess when she first got in touch with us with Codrin#Castor's first letter during convergence, so things were already in motion then. Second, The Guiding Council on Pollux is almost twenty years old now, predating the arrival of the Artemisians by nearly ten years, and I think that's because third, you--" Ey nodded to Zacharias. "--apparently dropped everything on her across all three systems at the same time not that long after the launch. You two got more openly together on Pollux, and as far as Codrin#Castor can find in the perisystem, you quit shortly after telling her there. End Waking thinks --- and I agree --- you're trying to push each of the Systems in a different direction politically. Maybe you think having different political environments is more stable across societies separated by distance and time. Maybe it's some giant experiment. Who knows. It's your long game."
 
 The longer ey spoke, the more serious Jonas's expression grew, and by the time ey finished, he'd leaned back in his seat. "Well then," he said. "I suppose I don't have much more to add, then, do I? I have my conversation with True Name cut out for me."
 
 "And what conversation is that?"
 
-Jonas was back to grinning. "Oh, fuck off, Ioan. I'm not going to tell you all of my secrets! We have our shit to work through and you have to be a good little clerk and take all of your notes so that you can come back to me with a story. That'll seal the deal, and we'll be ready to go our separate ways."
+Jonas was back to grinning. "Oh, fuck off, Ioan. I'm not going to tell you all of my secrets! We have our shit to work through and you have to be a good little clerk and take all of your notes so that you can come back to me with a story to publish. That'll seal the deal, and we'll be ready to go our separate ways."
 
 Ey gave a hint of a bow. "As you say. It's settled, then, right? Two days, 11:00?"
 
@@ -156,7 +158,7 @@ Ey didn't wait for the ping of acknowledgement. Even if they weren't ready for e
 
 The afternoon was settling into evening, and the plain was littered with dozens of skunks. As ey walked toward True Name's tent, though, they began to quit in small groups until it was just the three root instances kneeling around a small fire, over which they were roasting sausages.
 
-After bowing to End Waking and getting eir hug and skunk-kiss from both May and True Name, ey sat cross-legged between them. Once ey'd gathered emself, said, "That was a whole lot of bullshit. How far off is food?"
+After bowing to End Waking and getting eir hug and skunk-kiss from both May and True Name, ey sat cross-legged between them. Once ey'd gathered emself, ey said, "That was a whole lot of bullshit. How far off is food?"
 
 End Waking used the tip of his knife to nudge at a few of the sausages, turning them over on the grill cantilevered over the fire. "Not long. Would you prefer to wait to share, then?"
 
@@ -182,9 +184,9 @@ Ey nodded. "I'd guessed that much, at least. I think the whole meeting was a for
 
 "I still don't understand, though," ey said. "Why be so transparently villainous if he's specifically having me write something to be read by the public."
 
-"The same reason I wound you and Codrin up. If it is just a little too sensational to be real, then he can get away with more than he might otherwise. Jonas assassinating True Name? True Name who probably already assassinated Qoheleth? It is just too much to be real, but it sure is good reading, is it not?"
+"The same reason I wound you and Codrin up. If it is just a little too sensational to be real, then he can get away with more than he might otherwise. Jonas assassinating True Name? True Name who probably assassinated Qoheleth? It is just too much to be real, but it sure is good reading, is it not?"
 
-"Makes me feel like something of a punching bag," ey said, then sighed. "I think I'm starting to understand what Codrin#Castor was talking about in terms of getting yanked about a bit better."
+"Makes me feel like something of a punching bag," ey said, then sighed. "I think I'm starting to understand what Codrin#Castor was talking about in terms of getting yanked around a bit better."
 
 True Name winced and averted her gaze. "I am sorry, Mx. Bălan."
 
@@ -270,7 +272,7 @@ Ey snorted, shaking eir head. "Neither was I, you nut. I just meant Rareș and m
 
 "Well, touché. We do not have very good language around love, in my defense." She ruffled eir hair and ey could hear the smirk in her voice as she said, "Not that that will ever stop me from teasing you about falling in love with her."
 
-Ey laughed and poked at her side a few times, hunting for a ticklish spot. "Who's rude now, hmm?"
+Ey laughed and poked at her side a few times, hunting for that ticklish spot. "Who's rude now, hmm?"
 
 Giggling helplessly, May squirmed until she tipped off eir lap, curling protectively into a ball. "It is just so easy, Ionuț, do not blame me!"