From 9f0f4fbd3bc1eac4a822528ec9db07736bafd95e Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Madison Scott-Clary Date: Sat, 25 Sep 2021 13:35:08 -0700 Subject: [PATCH] update from sparkleup --- writing/post-self/toledot/launch/sys/Ioan/004.md | 16 ++++++++-------- 1 file changed, 8 insertions(+), 8 deletions(-) diff --git a/writing/post-self/toledot/launch/sys/Ioan/004.md b/writing/post-self/toledot/launch/sys/Ioan/004.md index c53629e9..54aa62e1 100644 --- a/writing/post-self/toledot/launch/sys/Ioan/004.md +++ b/writing/post-self/toledot/launch/sys/Ioan/004.md @@ -118,7 +118,7 @@ She grinned and shook her head. "He will. He has already made up his mind, he ju Ioan straightened up. "Me?" -"Of course. Can you think of a better myth? Can you think of a better story in history, of the man who brought the launches to fruition learning that he is talking to the very woman who helped bring Secession to fruition, the one who he has desired above all things to meet, who he thinks dead?" +"Of course. Can you think of a better myth? Can you think of a better story in history, of the man who brought the launches to fruition learning that he is talking to an instance of the very woman who helped bring Secession to fruition, the one who he has desired above all things to meet, who he thinks dead?" "A little grandiose, don't you think?" @@ -136,7 +136,7 @@ Ey shrugged. She thought for a moment, once more drawing designs on the table with a claw. -"Alright," she said, standing up. "Come with me, dear." +"Alright," she said, standing up. "Come with me, my dear." Ioan stood to follow her as she padded from the common room to the balcony, then down the steps from their to the yard, a rectangle of grass hemmed in by a border of mulch, a fence of lilac bushes making up the border. It was technically the end of eir sim, though between the leaves and trunks of the bushes, one would occasionally catch a glimpse of another yard, another house, a street beyond. @@ -160,9 +160,9 @@ The skunk grinned to em. Ey knit eir brows. "Talked me into...how do you mean?" -"You still have ACLs over your property, I do not. I just made a few suggestions, mostly when you were asleep --- or at least very sleepy --- or head in the clouds at work." +"You have ACLs over your property, I do not. I just made a few suggestions, mostly when you were asleep --- or at least very sleepy --- or head in the clouds at work." -"You're saying I made these?" ey asked, stepping out into the grass and bending down to inspect the flower, yellow, a myriad of pedals, grand-toothed leaves clustering the base. +"You're saying I made these?" ey asked, stepping out into the grass and bending down to inspect the flower, yellow, a myriad of petals, grand-toothed leaves clustering the base. "I am saying that we made these." She bent down beside em and plucked the flower from its base, lifting it with a dreamlike smile. "I am saying that you trust me, and that life in the System is more subtle than you know. You trust me. You let me into your life as a coworker, then cohabitant and cosleeper. You let me into your dreams, and your dreams influence this place as much as your waking mind." @@ -180,7 +180,7 @@ They both shifted to a cross-legged position before this brand new plant in the A memory clicked into place for Ioan and ey laughed. "Oh! Of course! I've been here too long, haven't I? Here in the system, here in the house with its perfect yard. They were all over back phys-side, though." -May nodded and waited for em to continue. +May nodded and beckoned for em to continue. "We didn't have a yard where I grew up. Just an apartment block facing the street, a strip of weeds between the building and sidewalk, and then between the sidewalk and road. At one time, I think that strip had contained grass and trees, but now it just contained a narrow path full of thistles and dandelions. @@ -204,15 +204,15 @@ Ioan made a face. "I'd rather coffee." "I have no idea if the substitute was any good, but I like coffee, too." She held the flower up to her snout and smelled long at it. "Me, though, I like the flowers. They are too complicated for their own good, in this stage. Sure, they close up and then become the puffballs that spread them further and further, but here, they are almost platters of yellow." -Ey grinned as she held the flower in both paws like a platter carrying food. +Ey grinned as she held the flower in both paws like a tray carrying food. "But that is not what I like about them. What I love is their scent." She held it up for em to sniff. "They smell like muffins. How can anything that smells like muffins be bad?" -Ey breathed deep of that scent. There was, indeed, the scent of some baked sweet bread, but that layered atop a vegetal scent. It was not unpleasant, but not precisely like a muffin. Ey decided not to share this opinion with May. +Ey breathed deep of that scent. There was, indeed, the scent of some baked sweet bread, but that was layered atop a vegetal scent. It was not unpleasant, but not precisely like a muffin. Ey decided not to share this opinion with May. Instead, ey asked, "Is that your story, May?" -"Of course not. You told the story yourself." She laughed, peeking up to em slyly. "Or perhaps we told the story. You asked, so I suggested, and you told the story." +"Of course not. You told the story yourself." She laughed, peeking up at em slyly. "Or perhaps we told the story. You asked, so I suggested, and you told the story." Ioan frowned, then rolled eir eyes. "That's not what I asked, and you know it."